Our Nanny is a Boy || bxb

76. No going back

Robin's POV

'So, you're telling me... Peter confessed? While he was drunk?'

Robin lifted his head from his hands to look at Alexander. 'Basically.'

'And you... rejected him?'

'Well, I didn't explicitly tell him no, but I think I made it clear. Not that it matters, because he doesn't remember anything.'

'But... why?'

'Isn't it clear? He's the father of the kids I babysit.'

'And he said he wanted to marry you.'

'That's even worse.' Robin sighed.

'I don't understand,' Alex said. 'You guys have been acting like a married couple ever since I met you. You love his kids, his kids love you. You've been living with them and the two of you shared a bed more than once. What's the issue?'

'The issue is I can't, Alex.' Robin buried his head in his hands again. 'A year ago, I made a promise to myself. I made a promise that I wouldn't give my heart to someone ever again. Not in that way. I simply can't risk getting hurt again. If my heart gets broken one more time, I don't think I will survive. So its safer to just... lock all my feelings away, and I was able to, until he-' Robin broke down in sobs. 'I don't think I can keep doing this much longer. You have no idea how much I want it, Alex. Just this... perfect little family. But it can never happen. Peter deserves so much better than my damaged heart and I'm terrified of the day that he'll see that too.'

'Oh, Robin...' Alexander pulled him into a hug, stroking his back. He let Robin cry like that for a while, holding him until Robin pulled away and wiped his tears. 'I'm sorry,' he apologized.

'No, don't apologize,' Alexander said. 'You're worth so much more than you think, Robin. I see that and Peter sees it too. Whichever *ssh*le made you feel this way had no idea what he just lost. But the way I see it, you've already fallen in love with him. There's no going back now. If you decide to walk away now, not only will you break his heart, but also your own. Do you really want to give up everything right now just because you are afraid of getting hurt? Because right now, I can see you are already in pain, but Peter's not the one causing it. It's you, because you are denying yourself the happiness you deserve.'

Robin didn't respond to that. He just sat there, staring at the floor in silence.

Alex got up, patting his shoulder. 'Look, you don't have to go all in right away, but just... try to open your heart up to the possibility. It might turn out differently than you expect.'

Then, he left Robin alone with his thoughts. He sighed, lying down on the sofa, staring at the ceiling. He just wanted to close his eyes and forget about all his worries, float away to a world where he didn't have to worry about Peter or Isaac or anyone.

But he was here and he knew that sooner or later, he had to make a choice.

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A few days later, the doorbell rang. Alex was out for work and they weren't expecting someone. Maybe some vendor or charity person. Robin was sitting in front of a blank canvas. He wanted to paint to get some of these feelings out, but he couldn't come up with anything. Artist block. He hated it.

With a sigh, he put down his paintbrush and got up to open the door, only to come eye to eye with the cause of his worries.

'Peter, what are you doing here?' he asked. The man was all dressed up for what seemed like a formal occasion. Robin had to admit, he looked snatched in a suit and for a hot second he forgot that he was supposed to stay away from him.

'I came to take you out,' Peter said. 'On a date.'

'What?' Robin was confused. Was his memory messing with him? Wasn't Peter supposed to give him space?

'I know I said I would wait for you, but I'm afraid that if I wait any longer, I will lose you completely. So just bear with me this once. I've already placed a reservation at 6, so please don't say no.'

Even if he wanted to, Robin was pretty sure he couldn't say no when Peter was standing in front of him like that. He sighed. 'Okay then. Just let me get changed.'

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It's happening!!!

An oldie because I just discovered it and it slays!