Our Nanny is a Boy || bxb

82. A great husband

After the gallery, Peter and Robin went to Alex' house together. Alex wasn't there, so they simply continued their date there, with Peter watching as Robin created a masterpiece. He carefully mixed the colours he was going to use, adding stripes, circles and dots all over the canvas. 'Aren't you bored?' he asked Peter after more than an hour.

'Not even close.' Peter was just swooning over the delicate way he handled his brushes, his masterful mind knowing exactly where to place which colour, his focused gaze. 'I think I could watch you do this forever. The process is even more interesting than the result.'

'Glad you think so,' Robin said. 'Well, this layer needs to dry first. Care for a cup of coffee?'

Peter watched as the painting slowly gave rise to a beautiful portrait of David and Felicia, both surrounded by the colourful flowers that were filling the entire canvas. Finally, Robin painted the last tiny dot and put his pencil down, flexing his wrist. 'I think that's it. I'm going to wait for it to dry, make the last corrections and then varnish it, but that will take too long, so you'll see the final result later.'

'It is gorgeous,' Peter said, admiring it. 'Can I just buy it from you?'

Robin looked at it with a thinking face. 'Well, maybe I'd like to keep this one.'

'Oh,' Peter said. 'Then I'll simply have to marry you. So that what's yours becomes mine.'

Robin laughed. 'Nevermind, you can have it. When it's done though, on Monday I'll take it. No need to pay, it's a thank-you gift. For our date.'

'Aw, thanks!' Peter said. 'Which reminds me, where would you like to go for our next date?'

'Oh,' Robin said. 'Isn't it your turn to choose?'

'No, I chose the art gallery. Either way, there are no rules.'

'Yeah, but the art gallery was for me,' Robin said. 'So for our next date, I choose whatever you want to do.'

'Okay,' Peter said. What he wanted to do was anything that brought a smile to Robin's face. 'Do you like the beach?'

'Are you kidding?' Robin said, his eyes sparkling. 'I love the beach!'

'Alright,' Peter said. 'Then that settles it. It's pretty cold though, so I'm going to find another activity for us nearby. Can I surprise you with that?'

'Sure,' Robin said. 'I'm so excited.'

'Right,' Peter said, grinning widely. 'See, dating me isn't that bad.'

Robin smiled again, though still a bit hesitant. 'Well yeah, Isaac never wanted to be seen with me in public, so even when he took me on dates, it was usually quite generic. In hindsight, that was a huge red flag.'

'Yeah,' Peter sighed. 'He sounds like a major *ssh*le. You deserve better. Also, how can someone date you and not want to show you off to everyone? I mean, that is not okay. You are talented, handsome and you have a great personality. I have to physically restrain myself from not bragging about you to literally every single person I meet.'

'Stop it,' Robin laughed. 'You're way too obsessed with me.'

'Yes,' Peter said. 'Yes, I am. So there's no need to worry about me leaving you, ever. You're like oxygen to me at this point, so running away would basically be suicide.'

'D*mn,' Robin said. 'And you would just leave the kids behind then?'

'Exactly. That's how you know I won't.'

'But what if I leave you?' Robin asked.

'Are you already planning to?' Peter asked. 'It's only our first date!'

'Well, I guess not at this moment,' Robin said. 'I'm... surprisingly okay with everything we did today.'

'That's great news,' Peter said warmly.

'Yeah,' Robin said. 'Well, I can't make any promises, but I don't think I am going to leave anytime soon. But yeah, we both know that some things are out of our control. I am just worried... imagine, like, something happening to me. If you say I'm like oxygen... then what's going to happen?'

It seemed a rather dark question, but Peter got what was going on. He took Robin's hands in his. 'I know what you're saying and I've had the same questions. I know I depend on you a lot. You have no idea how terrified I was in the first few weeks. You know, you were the first person I've grown attached to since Leah's death. I didn't even think I was capable of love anymore. And it scared me like crazy. I had only just started processing everything that happened with Leah, but my newfound feelings for you became riddled with fear of losing you too. If I loved you, I could lose you. And if I lost you, I was really scared it would mess me up for good. 

'This was a subject in many of my talks with Anita. Actually, in our first sessions, I talked more about my fear of losing you than about Leah. I thought I was subconsciously replacing her with you, so Anita gave me this assignment to make a list of all the differences between you two. I started, but never got far. It felt dumb. There were plenty of small differences, but I should find the difference in your essence. That's when I realised both of you changed my life, but in different ways.

'You know, Leah came into my life in a very dark time. She was like a ray of light in the darkness. I thought that, as long as I had her around, I wouldn't have to be in the dark anymore. And it worked. I just, I was so dependent on her. I never realised that if she were to leave, that would mean the light in my life would also disappear. Of course, her light still shines in Felicia and David, but over the past few months I realised how many people I damaged and neglected after her death, because I got stuck in the darkness again. And then you came. You also lit up my life, but in a way that made me see myself, the mess I was at that time. Your light was so bright that it made me aware about my behaviour, but also of my dependence on others. You made me want to grow, to be stronger. And I became stronger. The last few weeks were hard, but I did not fall back into the darkness this time. Of course, I had trouble sleeping, but it is also very human to not want to be alone. So yeah, if you were to leave me and there was nothing I could possibly do about it, I would struggle, but I would still do my best to pick up the pieces and move on. However, if I left you, I don't think I would ever be able to forgive myself. That is why I'm confident I'm not going to leave you. Because if I am a mess, I know it's going to affect my kids, and you know how much I care about them.'

'D*mn,' Robin said again, biting his lip.

'I know, right?' Peter said. 'I'm convincing, aren't I?'

'Shut the f*ck up,' Robin laughed, elbowing his side. 'But jokes aside, I'm really proud of you, Peter. You really made a lot of progress. And for what it's worth, I think you are a great father. Even when you are a mess.'

'You know what I could also be?' Peter asked. 'A great husband.'

Robin gestured at the door. 'Out, Peter. Out.'

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This dude has zero chill istg (I love flirty Peter so much tho haha)

Everytime I hear this song, my heart hurts a bit. Dom is so extremely brave for speaking about his trauma, but as a med student it just shocks me to the core that another doctor could do something so vile to a little boy. My heart goes out to Dom and other little kids who've had an experience like this. It is unbelievable that a person like that could become a doctor and to be honest, it made me lose a little trust in humanity. However, it has given me a perfect example of the kind of doctor I don't want to be.

Nevertheless, I am really proud of Dom for raising his voice like this, to become a voice for people with similar experiences and speak against all the injustice in the world. I really admire him.