Unregretful Mistake ✓

UM: Chap 29

Force

"Rian! What the f-ck are you doing?!" bulong ko at sinipa siya.

She mouthed 'ouch' but a grin still escaped from her lips.

Deity nudge me so I turned to her, she was chewing her food. "What's wrong?" she asked me. I leaned and whispered.

"She f-cking video called Jackson! Damn it!" napaubo-ubo si Deity kaya't agad ko siyang inabutan ng juice.

Dali-dali niyang ininom iyon bago ako hinarap. "What?!" she looked behind me where Rian was.

"Nothing. Kinakamusta ko lang ang mga kaibigan ko. What's up?" tanong ni Rian at ihaharap na sana sa amin ang screen nang nataranta ako at wala ng nagawa pa kundi ang mag-dive sa ilalim ng mesang nasa harap namin.

Nadapa pa ako at nagkauntog-untog sa kanto ng mesa. Hinimas ko ang ulo at tuhod ko na sobrang sakit bago sinamaan ng tingin si Rian na ang lakas ng tawa sa couch.

Deity glanced at me and mouthed. 'Are you okay?'

I quickly shook my head and mouthed back.

'Of course, I'm not!'

She sighed.

"Here's Deity, Jackson. I'm with her today," ang nanlalaking mga mata ni Deity ang humarap sa front camera.

"You're in your unit?" bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko ng marinig muli ang boses ni Jackson.

God.

I.. uh.. missed his voice so much.

"No! Nasa unit kami ni.." nang-aasar na tumingin muli sa akin si Rian bago humalakhak. "Nasa unit kami ni Deity."

"Oh. Why did you call? I'm quite busy right now," seryosong tanong sabi ni Jackson at rinig ko ang tunog ng mga papel sa phone.

"Wala naman. Sayang lang ang tawag ko. May makikita ka sana," hinarap muli ni Rian ang screen sa kanya.

If glares can just kill people, Rian will surely be on her own funeral right now because of me.

"Makikita?" napapikit ako ng marinig ang takang tanong ni Jackson sa linya.

"Huh? May sinabi ba ako? Magpa-tingin ka na ng pandinig, Jackson. Sige na, bye!"

"Hm. Bye."

And the call finally ended.

I quickly go out the table but my head knocked against the edge of the table again!

I angrily groaned and threw a pillow to Rian the moment I got back on the couch again.

"Nakakainis ka, Rian. Hindi nakakatuwa 'yang ginawa mo," nayayamot kong sabi sa kanya at humalukipkip. "I got tripped and my head knocked against the table twice! That freaking hurts!" angil ko pa.

She pouted and hugged me. "I was just bored! Come on. Don't be kill joy, Lily," natatawang sabi ni Rian.

I rolled my eyes.

"As if what you did enjoyed us," pranka kong sabi pero tinawanan niya lang.

"Mommy?" liningon ko kaagad ang anak ko na pupungas-pungas pa mula sa pagkakatulog.

"Jacreio, come here," I told him and he walked towards me before he climbed up the couch then sat on my lap.

"You're okay now, anak?" I asked him softly. He nod and picked chips from the bowl on Deity's hand.

"Don't eat too much of that and drink glass of water later. It's not healthy, Jacreio," tumango siya at kinain ang kaunting chips na nasa bowl.

Medyo tulala pa ang anak ko dahil kagigising pa lang. Buti nga at hindi na tino-topak pagkagising hindi katulad dati na iiyak pa siya kapag wala ako sa tabi niya 'pag nagigising siya mula sa pag-tulog.

I caressed his hair gently.

"What if I tell you that you will meet your father next week or so, Jacreio?" ang pag-nguya niya ay bumagal.

Kita ko ang pag-ayos ng upo nina Rian at Deity na nasa couch din.

Yumuko si Jacreio ng ilang saglit bago tumingin sa akin.

Makikita ang lungkot sa mga mata niya at hindi ako mapalagay sa tuwing ang malungkot na ekspresiyong iyon sa kaniyang mga mata ang nakikita ko sa tuwing magkaka-tinginan kami ng anak ko.

He let out a small smile. "I'm fine, Mommy. Don't pressure anyone between you and Dad because I'll just really wait for him to be finally be with us. I'm perfectly fine, Mommy. Don't worry."

I was about to answer when he added more. "I don't want you to force Dad just to be with us even if he really doesn't want to.."

I tried myself not to cry in front of him.

I'm scared that my son's is starting to build walls against his father now.

This is not Jackson's fault at all.

It's my entire fault why Jacreio is feeling like this right now towards his clueless father about him and even on his existence in this world where we are both living.

Narinig ko ang mahinang iyak nina Rian at Deity na parehong tumalikod sa amin para hindi makita ang pag-iyak nila.

"Jacreio.. listen to Mommy," I cupped my son's cheeks.

We both stared at each other and I saw how he was tearing up again and Jacreio was just keeping himself not to cry in front of me again.

"Your Dad loves you. And he really want to be with us. Just.. Just wait for him, okay?" he looked away.

"I want to lay on my bed again, Mommy. Excuse me," my lips parted when he jumped off my lap, ran towards his room and locked it.

I heaved a sigh and leaned my head on the backrest of the couch.

"Hay nako, Lily. I'm going home na. Naiyak pa kami ni Deity dahil sa inaanak namin! Okay ka na ba dito?" tanong sa akin ni Rian nang tumayo ito.

I nodded. "Sure. I'm okay. Ako na ang bahala kay Jacreio. Thanks for visiting and for the gifts," I told them and shut my eyes, getting tired of the day.

"No. I'll stay here in your unit, Lily. You looked so damn tired already. Rest first. Ako na ang bahala kay Jacreio," ani Deity at niligpit na ang mga kalat sa lamesa.

Akala ko ay kaya kong mag-puyat ngayon para kay Jacreio pero hindi pala.

Sobrang pagod ako ngayon at mukhang makaka-tulog agad ako.

"Ah, thank you, Deity."

"Sige na, Lily. Aalis na ako," paalam ni Rian at humalik sa pisngi ko.

I opened my eyes and looked at her. "I'm sorry I can't walk you out. I'm tired," I said.

She chuckled. "Ano ka ba. Ikaw lang naman ang may gustong ihatid kami lagi palabas ng unit mo. As if naman hindi ko alam kung paano lumabas!" si Rian at natawa kami. "Sige na talaga. Bye girls!" humalik na rin siya kay Deity bago tuluyang lumabas na ng unit.

I stood up.

"I'll just go inside Jacreio's room to check him up," tumango si Deity.

Chineck ko nga ang anak ko sa loob ng kwarto niya at may susi naman ako ng kwarto niya kahit i-lock niya man iyon.

He's just drawing on a paper again but this time, car na.

I just told him that I'll sleep first and her Ninang Deity will be around him to check him out.

"Okay, Mommy. Sweet dreams," he said.

Then Jacreio stood up to hugged and kissed my cheeks.

"Hm. Don't be hard-headed to your Ninang, okay?"

Tumango siya at ngumiti. "Okay, Mommy."

"I love you," and kissed him on his forehead.

"I love you too, Mommy!"