Empty Hearts?

Chapter 8~Troyes pov

Hate.

Hate.

Hate.

Hate.

More. Hate.

I did it again, again, again, and again. Over and over. Why did I look at all of the tweets?! All the hate flowed around in my head. It was rushing. As is the blood. I decide that it's best that I stop now and clean and bandage up before anyone walks in or anything. I didn't dare look at Tyler's tweets they were probably just more hate. Not saying he's that type of person, but I have learned to think the worst of people. I had to. Because it's right. Everyone in this world that knows me hates me. They think I'm anorexic, faggot, useless, pathetic, weak, and just a freak. Just like he did. I don't remember his name. We were about 7 when it happened, but I remember. I don't want to, but I can't forget. I don't want to think about it right now. I can't deal with it. I've got to do something to take my mind off of that memory.

Tumblr! That always works, but then I'll never be able to sleep. Which I don't know maybe that'll be good considering what my sleep turns into. Nightmares. So many nightmares. Ok. I think I'll just watch youtube.

1 Notification.

Hmm.. I never get notifications. Especially on youtube.

Tyler Oakley has followed you.

Well shit. I guess he just wants to hate on me some more. Anyway, I click on his channel. Only because I'm bored as shit and need to do something other than sit her dwelling on my past.

Holy shit. He's fucking funny. His laugh. His- ugh no Troye. Don't get your hopes up in thinking that he will like me. It won't ever happen. After watching about twenty of his videos, I decide that I need to stretch my legs. A walk doesn't sound too bad. I'll listen to my playlist on spotify. It'll be good.

I grab my jacket. What? It's been colder lately and it's like 1opm. The fact that I'm skin and bones doesn't help my heat generating process. Hmm, where can I go in L.A? Starbucks? Streets? Park? Yeah, I'll just go to a park. I might look homeless if I sit on a bench, but who cares?

The park is only a few blocks away. I just have to wait for the signal that I'm aloud to walk to turn on. I wait and I wait and I wait. I'll just give it another minute, but if it doesn't turn I'm just going to walk my li-

"What the fuck?!" I mumble, scream out the best I can, but with the person behind me holding something to my face, making it hard to breathe or see clearly. With in seconds I pass out, bug just before I see someone yelling and running.

I wake up finally. I have absolutely no clue how long I've been asleep, but I still feel extremely tired. When I heard someone's footsteps, I decided that the best way to delay whatever is going to happen to me is to act like I'm still asleep. It works but after so long of acting as if I'm asleep, sleep actually takes over. I'm surprised that I never got a memory from that person that kidnapped me. Who was the person that was yelling and running? I have no clue, but I get brought out of my very light sleep by being punched in the stomach. Well, that was nice. I just love being punched, the only weird thing is that it didn't hurt as much as it should have. Especially since I am 'anorexic'. This is going to be fun.

I try to block myself from the next throw, but it never comes.

"Oh good! You're awake. I was beginning to think Cas-my assistant had killed you. That much chloroform could be dangerous to a skinny twig like you." He, I'm assuming from the voice, but for all I know they could have that voice altery thing. He beings grabbing ahold of my jaw and running their fingers along my stomach. I try to move but it is absolutely no use. I didn't move at all. My arms are duct taped to the armrests. My legs duct taped all the way up to my knee to the chair legs. And duct tape over my mouth. "So young. So innocent. So... Hot. So restricted." They whispered quite seductively in my ear. I almost moaned when the person took my ear lobe between their teeth before letting it go back into place. Why am I so fucking turned on right now. This is most definitely not the time.

I push those thoughts away deciding I should get some answers.

"What do you want?" Coming out mumbled. Simple question, simple answer right? Nope, just no straight answer.

"Oh no. You don't ask the questions." They sat down on my lap facing me. Their crotch directly on mine. It's now that I can tell that I've gotten a bit of a boner.

They rip the duct tape off of my mouth and say "let's play a game shall we?"

"But who are you, where a-" they put their finger to my lips hushing me. I nod, but something in me makes me just barely move my lips in such a matter that it'd be a light peck. What has gotten into me? "Don't worry about that. I have to take you somewhere. Then you can go home."

"No! I won't go anywhere with you!" I try moving, but the fact that duct tape is fucking strong and I have someone sitting on top of me makes me move zero.

A/N~ This wasn't where I planned on stoping. I'm done with this story for now. I need a break. I hope you guys can understand that.

Story time. Sad story time.

I was reading on the bus ride home and had my headphones in. Not listening to anything, just on. I had planned on going home, eating waffles, and play videogames with my brother. When the bus pulled up to my drive way, there were police and such. The bus driver pointed it out by saying "Party at your house?"

I was so confused. I got off the bus. Took my head phones out, and walked to my mom. She was pouring her eyes out. It was icey, so I only walked. The next sentence was unbelievable. "Mike is dead." I didn't believe her telling me that my brother was dead. i just chuckled, and said sarcastically "Ha. Ha." She started crying more, and police came out of my house. Then I believed her. My brother that I have spent almost 15 years with was gone. He was easily the closest person to me. Besides my sister and best friend. We were finally aloud to see him. He was so pale. So cold. He was always warmer than me.

He killed himself.

(Don't get any ideas) This is how he did it. He bought an argon tank, put a freezer bag over his head, and cut a hole to put the hose in his mouth. He listened to music in the meantime with his headphones in.

He was kicked out of college. Was being sewed. And overall felt alone. He just had this facade that was so happy. So energetic. So funny. Caring. Loving.

I wish I could have helped. If anyone needs to talk about their own possible thoughts, I and many others are here. And no one leave. No one. Please have a nice day. I know I won't be. Thank you for reading and I'm sorry for the cliff hanger. Much love to you. ~Jillian. </3

I also may change this chapter when I do decide to write because I wasn't totally happy or sure about how I did this. I also haven't planned the plot out, so it's kind of just a write as I go type of thing.

Oh yeah, I forgot that I was going to recommend TheSugarcubeSaga troyler fanfic "Yours Truly Me" it's absolutely amazing and cute. It could be a movie. I'd definitely pay to go if Troyler were actually in it!