Chapter 11 - Sleepy Confessions

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××Zypher××

I kept my eyes trained firmly on the flower pattern printed onto the bed sheet as I began my confession. I couldn't bear to look into her eyes. It was utterly embarrassing. I never thought a little fairy would be what made me nervous in life.

"I... You are..." I growled in frustration and ran a quick hand through my black locks. I had no idea how to even start 

"I like you." I felt so stupid saying it. Like I was some child confessing to their crush. My eyes shifted up to Wild to see her smiling at me stupidly. I looked away immediately.

"I like your smile and the way your eyes light up when the sun hits them," I mumbled, very embarrassed by my own sappy words. I felt my cheeks heat up and quickly moved to cover one side with the pillow.

"Zypher-" Wild began but I quickly cut her off.

"I'm not done."

I took another few moments to gather my thoughts.

"You are very pretty and somehow you made me care for you. I want to protect you and spend my time making sure you're safe. I've never wanted to do that before," I confessed.

"You make me feel. I want to say I don't like it and that would be true, but at the same time, I don't want it to stop. I like being with you. I like liking you." If I didn't already sound like an idiotic child, my last statement definitely sent me to that category.

"I like being with you too," Wild said softly, causing a small smile to tug at my lips.

"My family doesn't protect. We kill. We produce. We move on. This... whatever this is, goes against everything I've been taught. Every word I've had beaten into my brain. Every rule and every command," I took a deep breath, "This is new territory for me. The feelings and the confusion. Assassins are sent on planned out missions, we are meant to know what we're getting ourselves into."

Despite admitting that my family and I killed people for a living, though she probably already guessed, Wild seemed happy, calm, and completely content with my words.

"Thank you for telling me how you feel." Wild gave me the sweetest smile.

"As long as you let me, I'd love to help you understand your emotions. Maybe you just had the wrong teacher."

It had never occurred to me that maybe the way I was raised was abnormal. I had never seen any different and had never paid any attention to other children during my missions.

If Wild was willing, I'd take her offer.

"Please," I said, setting a hand atop hers. She smiled and intertwined our fingers without thought.

"I really like how your skin seems to glow when we're surrounded by nature. And you're hair... it's like pure fire," I whispered. I played with a strand as I spoke.

"Stop it, now you're just trying to make me blush. Maybe you should've been a poet instead of an assassin," Wild joked.

"Ha ha," I said dryly. She squeezed my hand.

"So that was why you were acting so strange. I never would have guessed." Wild stared after a few moments of silence. I sighed and nodded before realizing she couldn't see me.

"Yes. It's pathetic but I didn't want to accept it," I said, "I shouldn't have acted that way towards you."

"I forgive you," Wild said instantly.

I wrapped my arms around her and brought her closer for a hug. I smiled into her hair as she hugged back.

"Thank you. You won't regret it, I promise," I mumbled into the red before letting her go.

Happiness flooded my system along with relief. She wasn't mad and had forgiven me. I had finally gotten everything off my chest

Utter mortification set in quickly after.

I had told her all of my feelings. Opened up to her and laid all my emotions bare. I could mark that off my lists of firsts.

Feelings weren't exactly a hot topic in the family.

I had gone rigid next to her and had flipped over as carefully as I possibly could so I didn't rip all the blankets off of her.

I sunk further and further into a pit of self-doubt over my words and actions, ignoring Wilds movement on the other side of the bed.

I jumped when little hands wrapped around my covered torso and a face was pressed against my back. She tangled our legs together like it was the most natural action in the world.

"I like you too," She mumbled into the back of my shirt. Her words were muffled and a bit slurred from sleep but I heard them loud and clear. My heart rate sped up and I had to resist the urge to punch myself because I knew Wild could feel the exhilaration from her spot against my back.

I faintly felt her smile.

I slid my hand around until I hit Wilds. She took the lead and clasped our hands together, giving mine a soft squeeze before relaxing.

I wish I had stayed laying the other way so I would have been able to hold her. But alternatively, it would have made it more possible to see my blush and the smile I couldn't seem to drop.

"Try and get some sleep," I said. Wild nodded once and soon enough was off to the land of dreams. She was hanging on the edge for a while.

Instead of following my own advice, I focused my attention on the two strangers sleeping in our room. It made me feel a little better knowing Wild was further away from them.

After what seemed like the longest day of my entire existence, I felt I could shut my eyes. That night, for the first time in many years, I had dreams. Not a nightmare and not the usual nothingness but a true dream, full of forests and warm fires and the one person I cared for.

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Kinda garbage chapter, very meh

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