Equilibrium

Chapter 53: Jackie's POV

Am I hyperventilating? I think I'm hyperventilating. This is not good. I am not good, things are NOT. GOOD.
I take shuddering breaths, watching as the blades of grass quiver with each one, tickling my nose. A tiny ant crawls through the dirt at eye level with me, carrying on about its day as if there isn't a massive battle raging around it, as if there isn't a goddess standing two feet away, ready to crush it, me, and all my friends beneath her feet. Gods... what I'd give to be that blissfully ignorant at a time like this.
But I can't.
It's up to me to warn them, to save them. Adrestia's going to kill me, but I'm going to go down trying to save my friends, at the very least. Biting my lip to keep myself from screaming in pain, I pull myself into a sitting position, closing my eyes as pain skyrockets through my rib cage in a white hot flash.
Deep breaths, Jackie.
In and out.
In and out.
I focus on my breathing as Adrestia's voice echoes around me, teasing Luka, trying to convince him to hand over the relics to save me. I don't know why he'd even be tempted to save me in the first place, but now I need to suck it up and face him.
Tell him not to.
In and out.
My life isn't worth more than everyone else's around me. This is a sacrifice that I need to make for the better of everyone.
In and out.
I open my eyes.
There he is, fists clenched, eyes blazing, towering over the battlefield. I don't know if I've ever seen Luka this mad. It's honestly terrifying. He's practically snarling at the goddess, daring her to back down. But when his eyes find mine, his expression shifts completely.
My breathing stutters in my chest.
His eyes convey so many emotions at once that I barely manage to catch any of them before they whisk away. Anger, hopefulness, fear, concern, hurt, and something I don't recognize, but it fills me with a burst of energy from the tips of my toes to my ears.
Whatever arguments, messy feelings, and fucked up interactions we've had in the past don't matter right now.
Did they ever really matter?
Even if Luka doesn't like me the same way I like him, he cares about me to some degree. And I care about him. A whole heck of a lot. And now I need to tell him to let me go. I need to save them all. To save him.
I lock onto his gaze and shoot him the tiniest, wavering smile.
"Let me die. Do not give Adrestia the relics. She'll kill you. All of you." I command, my voice sounding much much stronger than I expected it to. I can feel Adrestia's enraged glare digging into me, but I focus on keeping my eyes on Luka. His expression is incredibly torn, but he doesn't look away.
"Jackie-"
Well I guess it's now or never.
"Luka, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have fought with you. Even if you don't like me, if you hate me, I still care about you. You need to listen to me, please. Don't give her the relics. I'm not worth it-" Suddenly my words become muffled and something winds its way around my head, pressing hard against my mouth. Breaking eye contact with Luka, I glance up and see Adrestia twirling her finger in the air, absolutely livid, but still smiling coldly.
"Jaquelin, did your mother never teach you that children are to be seen and not heard?" My nose flares and I squint my eyes at her, screaming in fury but the gag muffles the sound. Adrestia grins, turning back to the demigods.
"While Jackie is busy learning her lesson, let's come to a deal, shall we? Hand me the relics, and I will not destroy you all with my army."
The crowd breaks out into muttering, the demigods exchanging confused glances.
I find Luka in the middle, he just stands there, staring at me, as if unable to speak.
Please just do what I told you. Don't give them to her.
I plead with my eyes, but he looks away, biting his lip, before flaring up at Adrestia.
"What about Jackie? If we give you the relics, what happens to Jackie? You keep changing your promises!"
No, Luka, no. Just listen to me!
"If you give me the relics, I will spare the girl."
"LIAR!" I snarl into my gag but it just comes out as a muffled shout.
The crowd once again breaks into hushed muttering, except this time, the demigods appear to be arguing. Katie from the Demeter cabin is in a heated argument with Connor and Travis, Piper and Drew are bickering loudly, and Annabeth looks like she's about to strangle Leo. Percy and Jason seem calm and collected but Reyna's face as she converses with them tells me otherwise. I spot Will, Nico, Hazel and Frank, all looking distressed, whispering back and forth and glancing at me occasionally. Then there's Luka, who is absolutely furious, waving his hands around like a crazy man as he argues with Chiron.
"Are you insane?!" I hear him shout, glaring daggers at the centaur. Leo stomps up behind Luka, Annabeth close on his heels.
"I'm with Luka! And that's saying something!" Leo snarls, the tips of his hair lighting on fire with a woosh.
"Children, children-" Chiron tries but Luka cuts him off.
"We can't just let her die! That's not- we can't-"
"Luka," Annabeth sets a steady hand on his shoulder, "We want to help Jackie too, but we need to discuss our options. We can't rush into this blindly."
Thank the gods for Annabeth. Please talk some sense into him!
"Do we have a decision?" Adrestia booms, making me jump.
"I'm afraid not," Chiron states, frowning.
"Very well then. That speaks volumes on it's own. Because of your lack of conclusions, I will be acting on my own agenda. Come to a decision soon, or you will all perish. Admiral, continue the attack." One of the monsters salutes and the battle is thrown back into full force, the monsters surging forwards and the demigods springing back into defensive positions.
"Jaquelin, your behavior was unacceptable. You deliberately disobeyed me, once again. You will be punished accordingly." Grabbing me by the rope around my neck, she hauls me to my feet, hunching over so we meet eye to eye. "In a little while we will begin phase three."
Phase... Three? She never told me about a "phase three." What is this goddess on? Crack? I don't even think being high as a kite could explain her actions at this point.
Adrestia just smirks at my confused expression.
"Oh, don't worry dear. In this one I think you'll find it's quite impossible to disobey me. You might want to say goodbye to your boyfriend, though."
Luka? What did this have to do with Luka?!
Panicked, I turn to the battlefield, catching sight of him. He turns to capture my gaze just as Adrestia kicks the backs of my knees and I collapse into a kneeling position, eyes watering in pain as I land on my ankle.
The goddess grabs a fistful of my hair and then the world is a cloudy mess of color and darkness, ethereal and swirling, Luka's piercing blue eyes lost to the blur.