Stranded With Secrets Of Past Mistakes ✓

[Chapter Thirty-Three]

New year new.... Chapter :)

Chapter Thirty-Three

"What the hell does that mean?" I asked him

"It means that you aren't some girl, you aren't any of the other girls. You're different. You're smart and caring and sweet and I want to try." He said and I was instantly on the defensive with this as he stepped closer to me and put a hand on my cheek.

"You don't want kids this young, you already said that." I was fighting this because it wouldn't last and I just couldn't let myself give in. He wasn't going to change for me.

"I don't want to be the kind of guy who walks away from something like this. I want to be better than I have been and I just, I'm afraid I'm not ready but I can't leave you on your own, I know I can't."

"You're willing to help me raise a baby?" I asked him, god this was all so confusing, this was the last thing I expected from him, I didn't think he would want to be there.

"If that's what you want, I know you haven't decided on keeping the baby or adoption."

"So you want to convince me to put the baby up for adoption?" was the first conclusion I could draw from this and he sat down and sighed like he was tired

"No Arianna, I want to talk about it and see if we're ready to raise a baby or if the best option for not only us but for the baby is a couple who is emotionally ready for a child right now." I sat beside him and I did feel like a weight was off my shoulders now that he knew.

"What do you want to do?" I asked him and he looked scared, maybe we just weren't ready and wouldn't be in time to have this baby.

"I don't want to make a decision right now, I want us to think about it and talk about it and maybe look into adoption, maybe exploring it would make it easier to decide but I just need a little time to figure this all out, I mean, I just found out."

"I can respect that. I was going to tell you Friday and give you the weekend to think about it before my appointment, I still haven't heard the heartbeat, I was waiting to see if you would like to be there." 

"I'd like to be there I just think at least I need for it to sink in before I make any decisions on what I want." I nodded

"I respect that, I really do." he was handling this better than I thought he would and I'm not sure why.

"I would like to try this with us though." He didn't look at me as I said it and It left me to stare into the side of his head.

"I'm not going to be the pregnant girl on the side, if you're going to stick with me can you at least halt screwing around until after we make our decision and the baby is born?" I asked him, I don't know if I could stand seeing him with other girls especially with my hormones like this.

"You think I would do that to you?" he asked as he pulled away from me and I shrugged

"You can't just change like that."

"It's not like I need to screw someone to live Arianna, I'm capable of having a real relationship."

"You were just with Lisa." I said and he groaned

"Yes, I was with Lisa. We made out a lot but it's not like I slept with her, I've never slept with Lisa. You're the last person I've had sex with; I couldn't get you out of my head." He said to me and I blushed at the memory, though a little blurry, of that night.

"You really want to be there, no being with other girls, no-." he cut me off and turned to face me.

"If we're going to raise a baby I want to be with you or at least try, if it doesn't work than at least we tried. I want our baby to know that we tried, I want to know that we tried." He told me and I just stared at him, I didn't know what to say to that.