Stranded With Secrets Of Past Mistakes ✓

[Chapter Thirty]

Chapter Thirty

I woke up feeling pretty terrible, my head was killing me and my whole body was sore and I thought back to last night. I walked away after he kissed me, my heart and body was telling me to stay, but my mind was telling me to walk away.

I laid on my couch for hours just doing nothing until I started crying, I don't know how long I cried, but I know I did cry myself to sleep. I hated the effect he had on me; it made me want to cry more that I was being so weak. I kept telling myself that I'm so upset that my baby won't have a father, and that's the only reason.

I got up and slowly made my way to the silent room and grabbed all the things I needed to paint. I wanted it to feel warmer and inviting, not cold and like you want be anywhere but there.

I sat in there for hours just painting. Painting was another way to help relieve stress I was feeling, something about it just calms me. I painted in multiple browns and creams with a touch of green, red and gold and it looked like a whole new room by the time I was finished with it.

I felt a new excitement seeing it; I couldn't wait to get everything moved into her and get it set up. I love this Library and getting it all set up, and doing it mostly on my own, but I just can't wait until all the stress over it is gone. I feel sick right now with all the stress I have going on.

I finished painting and didn't know what to do, so I looked in my locker for my music folder and went into the music room. I had been working on a composition for the piano and it was almost done. I wanted to get it finished.

I couldn't help when my mind wondered to Damon. I was relieved I hadn't seen him all day but I have a feeling he's close by but keeping his distance.

I tried to hard to get it done and I worked on this damn song until I thought my head was going to burst but I just couldn't finish it, it was infuriating. I decided to take a breather and move away from the bench to lay on the floor and talk to the baby to calm me down.

"Hey baby," I put my hands on my stomach "I love you, just always know that, I know mommy's been stressed out and that's not good for you, I'm sorry my little one" I rubbed circles across my tiny not really there bump. "I'm not looking forward to getting fat, but I can't wait to feel you growing, and to find out if you're a boy or a girl. I also can't wait until I get to hear your heartbeat and feel you kick letting me know you're there."

I thought about how in half a year, I get to meet him or her. Those thoughts instantly dampened at the thought of being at the hospital doing this by myself.

No, not by myself! I'll have my parents, Mason, Lucy, and Alexis. My brain yelled

But you won't have Damon my heart countered back and I wanted to cry again.

I got up and pushed those thoughts from my mind and went back to the piano. I was a lot calmer this time, and so the composition actually got finished pretty easily, though I'm not sure why I was so much calmer. I played it a few times, and made adjustments before I heard a knock at the door, I turned and Damon was holding a cell phone to me.

"Hello?" I said when I grabbed it

"How is everything?" Alexis

"It's okay, just feeling pretty down"

"I'm sorry, I wish you could be here for me to run us a bubble bath and we could sit and talk and I could try to cheer you up and make you feel better."

"Promise to run us a bubble bath with the relaxation aroma therapy stuff when I get home?" I asked and I saw Damon raise an eyebrow when I mentioned running a bath for us, and I rolled my eyes, men.