The Things I Leave Unsaid

66. Support It With Your Arms At Your Sides

Hey.

So this is probably going to be another one of those long rambling passages of words, just a heads up before you dive all in(:

I recently got a few comments that made me happy and yet, at the same time, slightly disappointed in people.

The comments were not just for chapters in this book but on other writings posted on other wattpad accounts I have too, as well as Twitter, Instagram, certain YouTube videos and multiple news sites.

As you all probably have realized by now, or at least those of you who've read through the entirety of this collection of poetry and jumbled thoughts, I'm very supportive of gay pride and the lgbt community.
So on some of the writings I did, the comments I was getting back on my posts and tweets and other things were positive mostly but almost every single one of them had something beyond irritating written somewhere in the feedback, and it was all the same exact issue.

The readers would start off agreeing with my argument and maybe suggesting other ways we could better the cause and make people as a whole less cold and blind. I would smile as I read the messages, so happy for each and every person who wanted to offer support and kindness, but then as I reached the end of it, I would see all the same words over and over again.

"Oh, but I'm not gay, 'just so you know'."

And that would deflate that little high I was getting from the euphoria of kindness and hopeful thinking for a few reasons.

You might be thinking: Dustin, why would such a stupid little thing bother you? Why do you care and why does it even matter they told you they're straight? There's nothing wrong with being straight, right?

And no, there's not of course, but it does matter. It matters a lot and you might not even realize it as you type but adding that little "but I'm not gay" comment tacked on the end of that lovely little pride speech you gave, that can unravel all the progress you made in the readers' eyes in just a few seemingly meaningless words.

Why? Well, I didn't ask you if you were gay first off. No one did. It wasn't relevant to the topic really, since most of the topics I write about are legalizing gay marriage. I'm not sure I've even mentioned my sexuality on here. You might not even know. Why? Because it doesn't matter. Who cares whether I'm gay or straight or bi or trans or whatever else? I, as an individual, have nothing to do with the broad general topic of gay marriage. Bringing in my own sexuality, feeling the need to assure everyone that, "it's okay, I'm not really gay", that could make an lgbt person reading it feel insecure, almost like you would be ashamed of being gay, and therefore having to make it clear you are not.

That's what I mean by the title basically. Support what you believe in without getting scared of what others will think. Don't throw in all the defensive tactics. That only makes your beliefs seem a lot less valuable and powerful.

People these days seem to be terrified of being called gay. It's like when the teacher in sex ed picks a boy and girl to use as an example for explaining how transmitting a sexual disease or something works. Everyone gets nervous and prays they won't be called on, knowing how embarrassing and awful it would be to have to even allow another person to imagine you in that way. You'd be ridiculed.
No one wants to be that person. Ever.

But being gay isn't something you should be defending yourself from constantly. It's not a dragon or an demonic spirit that will drag your soul away into the deep dark bottomless depths of homosexual hell, nor can you catch it by hanging around with a gay friend. It's not anything besides a personal characteristic that should have nothing to do with anyone else but you and whomever you decide to share the detail about yourself with.

So no, saying you're straight isn't homophobic or insensitive. But the timing is absolutely everything in this sort of situation. It is not appropriate to spout off long strings of wonderful peace-filled words demanding equality, saying there's nothing wrong with being gay, and then add, "oh but yeah, no homo." That makes it seems kind of insincere, no matter how nicely you phrase it.

And maybe it's just me, you can have your own opinions of course, but it does bother me. I love you still even if you do that but please at least try to really think about how your words can be interpreted before you say them. It only takes a few seconds to think over a thought. Aren't a few extra seconds worth being able to avoid hurting someone else? If it bothers me, there's a good chance it may bother some other people too. It's better to be safe than sorry, you know?

So to be short, there is really no need to add into most comments about gay rights the fact that you aren't. I support animal rights and I'm not an animal. I support equality for all in general and I'm not really discriminated much against at all, nothing that I can't take anyway.

There's nothing wrong with being gay. I wouldn't care whether you were or not, it doesn't effect me, you know?

And sorry to be blunt-ish with you all but I really need to try to help people to completely get that idea ingrained in them, that gay rights can be supported by more than just lgbt members. I'm too familiar with seeing people give these wonderful little comments about their beliefs and then feel the need to add in that, 'oh I'm not gay though, just so you know'. It's strange they feel the need to add it and it kind of takes a bit away(at least to me) from the rest of the nice words.

Comment your opinions please, I really want to hear what you have to say.

Also, and I don't often add this type of thing often since these are my words and you are choosing to read my book of your own freewill but I need to add it this time, I meant no offense to anyone who may have commented on my work or anyone's in this way I spoke about. You might not even have meant it in a defensive way at all. That is just how I myself took it. Okay? And I thought you should all be aware of it as a forewarning for the next time. I'm not crying a river, nor am I seething mad. I just wanted anyone who didn't know their words could have that effect become aware.

Awareness of others and the world in itself is so important, especially these days.

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Okay. So now that that's all out of the way, I have a favor to ask. In the next few days, keep your eyes clear and try to look around for opportunities to do something nice that you wouldn't normally do.

You could make cookies for someone, or laugh at a joke someone made that wasn't all that funny, but you know would make them feel so much better to see they made you smile. It doesn't have to be much to make an impact.

Don't ask anything of them in return and maybe don't even let them know it was you if a gift or something is what you have in mind. Do something out of the ordinary than usual, like for example, I almost always hold open the door for people. It's not even a conscious thought anymore and really isn't all that special for me to do so I couldn't count that. It has to mean something to you even if it means nothing to them.

Even just smiling at people, friends or even strangers, when they look at you could be special if you don't normally smile often. A smile means more than you could ever realize.

So please try this. And also remember that kindness is not the same thing as letting people walk all over you. There is a balance you must maintain and the only way to maintain it is to follow what feels like the right thing to do to you.

I love you all❤️. In the comments, tell me about your experiences with kindness and your thoughts on it in general. Write as much as possible to give me a clear view on how you think. I love reading about other people's ideas about life and general philosophical topics.