The Things I Leave Unsaid

55. This Love is a Sin

Weakly attempt to let you go
but history's far too strong,
Yet when I try to make you stay
you say you feel you don't belong.

Love is my mortal enemy,
yet closer to my mind
then any other true emotion.
'Guess the rest got left behind.

It's strange and it's alarming;
It's so beautiful and real,
and I'm finding it so tiring to
resist your strange appeal.

I know I lived without you, love,
For sixteen mediocre years
but then your smile grazed my heart
and made me face my fears.

Slowly, ice heart melted
and I learned to just be me,
No longer caring for pressures
that'd been surely killing me.

And now I find it difficult
to breathe without you near.
Why only in your arms
do these lonely eyes see clear?

How does one measly, lovely girl
Capture so much of my heart,
Worming her way into my world
Like some manic work of art?

How was she able to make me feel
So absolutely sure
So that I'd let go of my past
so I could lose myself in her?

Unravel me not! In
those moments, I was free.
All so sweet and incomparable,
Lost in her love for me.

And now I only wish to know,
Is it so wrong to be:
So in love, I can't think straight,
Falling to pieces, blaming fate,
Seeing your face and becoming irate,
Yet still wishing, somehow, it wasn't too late?

Why's it so wrong to love you?
Should I give it one more try?
Or avoid the confrontation,
just continuing the lie?

I make like it doesn't matter, only speaking words, not thoughts,
Laughing off the painful edge
And hiding when all gets tough.

Standing all alone
in the middle of a crowd
'Easy with the shouting!'
Your silence screams out now.

Pretend that I don't want you
Like you're not the one for me,
like I'm content, not craving
for your presence here with me.

Time is of the essence and
you said I have to choose.
But change can be so terrifying
and either way, I'll lose.

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~Dustin the Great