The Half Blood ✔

2

       I groan as i hear a loud crash. I open my eyes and sit up. I look at my window to see the sky has turned dark. I dont know when i fell asleep. I see that my t.v is still playing Riverdale. I pause it and get up. I rub my eyes and hear a thud and muffled cursing. That must be mom. I look at the clock to see it is 3 in the morning.

   I sigh and get off the bed. I slowly walk out of my room. I feel good as my bare feet walk on the cold wooden floor. I stretch my body and wince in pain as i find a few spots hurt. I was sleeping in an awkward position. I find mom sprawled on the floor in the living room and i sigh. She looks up at me and grins wide.

  That is not normal mom behaviour. My mother does not grin until she is very happy. Her perfectly straight hair is a mess and her clothes are wrinkled. And also the skirt she is wearing is turned inside out. I roll my eyes. She is a completely drunk mess. I cannot believe she would get drunk here too.

  "Oh my sweet baby, how are you?" She coos to me and then starts giggling. I cant help but smile at her.

   "You sweet baby would feel much better if you would spend more time with her." I reply. The only time i have a proper conversation with my mother is when she is completely wasted.

  "I know i dont spend more time with you. And i am sorry. But being with you hurts me." She says and she looks so sad. Her words hit me. She purposely stays away from me and how does being with me hurt her?

  "What do you mean?" I ask her, my tone sharp.

  "You are so much like her. You remind me of her. And you remind of how she left." She says in a sad voice and tears spill from her eyes.

  This is surprising. Mom has never cried in front of me. She has always been so strong and so in control of everything. Looking at her right now, lying on the floor, crying.... it just breaks my heart. And who is she talking about. I dont know what she means. Who is that girl or woman that i remind her of?

     As i open my mouth to ask her who she is talking about, i find her passed out. I sigh and shake my head. I slowly wipe my tears away. I dont know when i started crying. Its stupid of me to get affected by her so much. I just need to accept the fact that staying with me hurts her. More tears roll down my eyes and quickly wipe them away.

  I have to be strong. I cannot let something like this break me. I bend down and pick my mother up. Not that she is not heavy but one more strange thing about me is that i am very strong. I first discovered that when in my anger, i broke silver spoons and punched through walls. So i easily pick mom up and walk to her room.

  I slowly lower her onto her bed and remove her shoes. After making sure she is comfortable, i put the comforter on her and leave the room, closing the door softly behind me. I lean against the door and sigh. I have been sighing a lot lately. I just.... i dont know. I am just tired. I am tired of being locked and pushed away.

  I have never made any friends nor have i ever attended school. The only interaction i have had other than my mother is from my 3 tutors. Sometimes we go out for movies or dinner but thats all. I hate being hidden away. Its like she is ashamed of me. Perhaps she didnt even want me. Maybe i was mistake.

  I shake my head, i am Chantel Emerson and i dont let sad thoughts ruin my happiness. So what if i dont have anyone who loves me? I have me. I will always have me. And i love myself enough for everyone. I smile and walk towards the kitchen. Time for a mid night snack. I am my own cheerleader and thats one of the best things about me.

  I find a huge glass of red juice on the kitchen counter. I totally forgot about that. Mom always made that for me. It was a very healthy juice with all the good fruits. And it magically curbed all my cravings. And i felt really really good after having it. I peep into the fridge and grin when i find some blueberry cheesecake.

  I take it out and then go find my phone. The thing about my mother is that she is a different mother. Its not like she has always been so distant. She has always been there for me but sometimes she can be very cold and harsh. She has always been strong and smart and guides me through everything. But then she just disappears.

Sometimes she is off to some meetings and sometimes she just disappears because she wants to. She works very hard and when sue feels very stressed and exhausted, she takes her credit card and disappears. Sometimes she doesnt come back for days and sometimes she cones back wearing some guy's clothes whose name she cant remember.

  Today is just one of those nights i guess. The next day, she will wake up early and feel ready to take onto the world. Thats just how she works. And i stopped worrying about her sometime ago. She is an adult and she can take very good care of herself. And whenever she returns, we usually have a heart to heart for a few minutes before she leaves.

  It gets a little lonely sometimes but i am used to it. I hum and dance as i drink my favourite juice. I have named it cranberry delight. It is red and a little minty, it isbmy favourite drink ever. After completing it, i pounce on my cheesecake. I love cheesecakes so much i can live on them. And well i know its unhealthy and stuff but i dont care.

  I am here for a good time and not a long time. After my midnight snack is happily resting in my stomach, i wash the utensils before walking back to my room. I change into a comfortable pair of shorts and get ready to sleep. Just then, i see a movement in my peripheral vision. I turn and run to my balcony.

  I see a blurry movement before it disappears. It was hardly there for a mini second and i was not sure what i saw. But i know i saw something. I stare out of my balcony for a few more seconds and when everything is still and quite, i decide to go back to bed. Hopefully it is just my imagination and not something real.