voices. • the third book in the mute. series • muke au

shut up.

Michael.

"Ash?" I call into the empty hospital room. He was just going to use the bathroom. It was right next to my room and he'd been gone for like, ten minutes. What if he wasn't going to come back?

He isn't.

"Shut up..." I whisper into the air.

Why would he come back? Why would Luke? You're just a fucking train wreck. They don't want to pick up your pieces. You aren't worth it.

"Shut up." I say, this time louder.

I don't know why you tried to save yourself You should've died, saved everyone the head ache.

"Shut up!" I yell, slapping my hands over my ears. But they only get louder.

And that text you sent to Luke? He probably laughed. He doesn't love you, you're pathetic. He thinks you're a freak. He probably wishes you were dead.

Luke hates you.

"Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP!" I scream, pressing my hands harder to my ears. My head was pounding from squeezing it so hard. I tucked myself into a ball, letting myself cry.

"Michael." A very angry Ashton storms through the door. Once he sees me, his features soften and he plops onto the bed with me. "Mikey, shh, it's okay." he soothes.

"T-They won't stop...they're just getting l-louder." I sob.

"Michael listen to me." he says, tilting my head so I am forced to look at him. "You need to think of something else, this of something happy, okay? Focus on nothing but that. It always help me, but you really have to just tune them out okay?" he tells me softly. I nod, wiping away a few tears with shakey hands.

I remember when Luke first spoke, when he told me he loved me. After that, we talked for hours, about really deep, depressing shit. I tired to cheer him up with telling him about my childhood. I remember I was telling him a story about how I scared me aunt so bad on Halloween she peed herself and he just burst into laughter. I couldn't believe what I was seeing, what I was hearing. It was amazing. His eyes screwed closed and his nose scrunched up, he took rapid breaths and his eyes began to water. I just stared at him, not knowing what to do. I was so happy.

I couldn't even explain it. I caused that. I made him laugh like that...It was just angelic, I couldn't describe it. I refrained myself from bursting into tears. I just pulled him into a bone crushing hug and held him.

"Mikey?" he looked at me confused. I made him happy, I made him trust me. I made him fall in love with me. I loved him so much and he loved me and I just felt so happy. So fucking happy...

"That was the most beautiful thing I have ever heard." I mumbled, mostly to myself.

I didn't even notice that the voices had vanished. They were completely silent. I could feel them there, in the back of my head. But they weren't loud, they weren't even a whisper. It was completely silent. I smiled, finally. I smiled because I could think of him. I could think of Luke and not have the voices scold me and say nasty things, I could actually think...

I couldn't help but smile, something I hadn't done in almost two weeks. I big, genuine, happy smile. I was happy...how? Was even just simply thinking about Luke making me this happy?

"Michael? Are you okay?" Ashton asks me once he sees me smiling like a madman. I can't speak I just nod vigorously.

"It worked...it's so quiet..." I mumble, smiling again.

"Michael..." Ashton sighs, running his fingers through his hair. "I talked to Luke." he said softly. I said nothing. "He told me, he told that you...um-"

"I cheated." I whispered. My happy thoughts turning dark and sad.

"Why? You love Luke. Why would you do that! Do you understand how hard it is to come across love these days? The real kind? The kind that you and Luke have? What you were just going to throw all that away on some douche who probably doesn't even remember your name?!?" he yells, getting angry.

"I-I was drunk." I mange to get out.

"That doesn't give you an excuse to sleep with another guy!"

"It was, um, it was a girl." I say as soft as possible, praying he hadn't heard me. He didn't say anything for a long time.

"What the actual fuck Michael?" he asks, his voice at a normal volume, scaring me more than when he yells. I don't reply. I have no excuse.

"I love him." is all I say. It's all that could be said.

"You have a funny way of showing it." Ashton huffs, leaving me. He leaves his bag and coat here, so he is probably just taking a walk. I sigh and lightly bang my head against the wall.

"Fuck." I breath.

I close my eyes and just think.

The blue of his eyes, the way of hair swoops upwards perfectly, his smile, his damn lip ring. His voice. It was the only thing I wanted to hear at this moment. I longed for it. That't it, I just need to hear his voice..

I hear a buzz. And another.

Ashton left his phone. The screen illuminates and his name flashes across the screen. My heart stops.

In coming call: Luke

Without another thought I snatch it and press the phone to my ear.

"Ash?" he breaths."I know, this sounds stupid, and I know I'm an idiot. I need to talk to him Ash. I need to hear his voice, I love him. Please, please let me speak to him." Luke's voice rings through my ears. I just wanted to blurt out how much I loved him...how sorry I was. My throat was tight, restraining me from talking. I blink, I swallow, what the fuck do I do? The boy I love loves me. He fucking loves me. He wants to talk to me.

Luke loves me.

im sososo sorry guys this chapter was really freakin long and wattpad deleted it!!! I am super pissed  and reall tired and I'm sorry this is shitty.

ily guys so much

hugz and tickles

-carlee