Duality | Monsta X [√]

9: The anger within

I hate that you keep playing with my head
But I keep on coming back

-Psycho, Red velvet

It wasn't my emotion but my fear that led me to the clan club again the next day, but, wasn't fear an emotion too?

My fear was losing someone, my mom, and even though this emotion wasn't propelled by the boys of the English club, or, the clan club, they were the very reason I was afraid.

The middle aged lady had indeed fired me, of course, by someone's instruction as she couldn't show any cause and I didn't need to hear it anyway, I knew, I just had to make sure.

Hongbin looked genuinely sad, he gave me a close mouthed smile before bidding me bye.

Why though? Not that I was ever close to him, or anyone in my entire life.

"The bosses want you inside," a gruff voice told me and I saw it was the sturdy security guard in a suit with a Bluetooth device dangling from his ear from the other day. I actually looked at him thoroughly this time as I followed him to that miserable door again.

I was still unsure of what my position here, heck, I was unsure of everything.

If that was not the very reason I had stood on the side by the bartender's table while sweating beads when I got there, and I did nothing but stay there for twenty entire minutes until the security guard approached me.

"I'd been actually watching you in the surveillance camera, you know." As soon as I walked through the door Minhyuk popped out from the side frame, he slid a hand on the door behind me getting extremely close.

"You stood like an awkward bean." Closing the door he showed me a bright smile.

The whole situation gave me a chill down the spine, but it was mostly because how awkward I had felt.

Did this guy know he was a psycho?

Maybe, I had the right to judge and pass a comment on him to myself by now.

"He's weird, isn't he?" I saw Hyungwon say from that exact sofa from the other day but this time with his phone in his hand, his eyes glued to the screen.

Yes. Thank you for noticing that. Even in my head I sounded sarcastic.

"So you will actually work here, great!" Changkyun also sounded sarcastic in his 'great' part of the comment. I guessed he was the one to down vote their idea of making me work here. Kihyun and he were sitting on the toolbars before their mini bar, glasses filled with a light yellow liquid placed before them.

Kihyun took a drink, his eyes never leaving mine, as if he was observing me under a microscope. It made me wonder again how his looks did a full one eighty from what I had seen of him in the club.

He no longer had the curly brown hair falling on his forehead, but slick brown hair neatly back-brushed on his head with an undercut by the sides. His outfits were not light and fluffy but dark and fit his body well. He looked like a different person, in fact, all of them did.

"Why are you staring at me?" He gulped down the full glass not breaking his eye contact with me, one of his eyebrows arched.

"Weren't you the one who started it?"

God, did I just read aloud my thoughts.

His eyebrow dropped. "You can talk back?" Changkyun was the one to say something.

"Yes, she can," Minhyuk came and sat on one of the tools beside them looking at me with amuse.

I guess it was too late to take back what I had said so I stood strongly on my feet still staring back at Kihyun's dark eyes.

"Well, she did not say a word when it came to her dying mom. I guess she was threatened by us so why is she speaking up now?" Kihyun didn't stop staring down at me even when he directed his remark to the other boys.

Suddenly anger fueled over me. Realizing they had conducted a full profile on me and my family, invaded my personal space. It was a known information already but it angered me more now that I could register it.

"Don't talk about my mom using your filthy mouth," the words had left me, my hands made into balls shaking by my sides again.

Why was I getting angry again? Why were they messing with my emotions again?

God damn it stop with this anger, but I couldn't.

"If you have invaded my privacy already keep it inside of you," I think I shouted a little this time.

"Perhaps she snapped," Minhyuk whispered.

I felt a little nudge on my arm and when I looked to the side it was Wonho holding a glass of water towards me. I did not know when he had silently gotten there but his eyes looked bleary, and filled with tears. He offered the glass to me.

But I shoved his arm away and practically ran, I opened the door and I ran until I was outside of the club. I could not stop, my feet were taking me and nothing else mattered at that point.

Was I actually losing my mind? Why was I having no control over my anger? Did I ever had an outburst like this in my life or was this the first time?

And why did Wonho look like he was about to cry?

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A/n: no one is reading this.

But guess what I'll still update every Sunday and Thursday anyway since it's on my schedule huhu