My Hope

Chapter 54

I got up slowly, afraid that any movement I made could hurt him. I grabbed a chair and pulled it close to his side of the bed. I relaxed in the chair and stared intently at Daryl. I closed my eyes, instantly falling asleep.

I dreamt of Daryl, tall and handsome, standing in front of me. His muscles rippled as he reached out a hand to me, only to be cut short by by the sound of gunshots. He looked down at his bloody stomach and then at me. I blinked and saw a whole different Daryl. It was a walker version of him, or what was now left of him. Crimson blood trickled from the corner of his mouth and his lip pulled back in a snarl. His eyes were no longer full of light, but held only darkness and death.

He reached out to get me but I woke up, sweaty and panting.

I looked around the room and sighed when I remembered what had happened the day before. I looked over at Daryl, but he was still unconscious. He had a little more color to his skin and face which made him look a few years younger. I felt something warm over my shoulders and noticed a blanket over me. Someone must have put it over me when I fell asleep.

Before I got up, Hershel walked through the door alongside Rick.

"Looks like he made it through the night, huh?" Hershel said with a hint of sarcasm. He walked over to the other side of the bed to check Daryl's blood pressure.

I noticed Rick was all cleaned up from last night. I stood up and looked at myself. My clothes were still covered blood. My stomach twisted at the sight of all the dried blood.

"Why don't you go and get yourself cleaned up? We will call you if anything changes." Rick said and reached out his hand. I looked over to Daryl and then to Hershel taking his blood pressure.

"Well, go on," Hershel nodded his head towards the door.

"Thank you, Rick. For everything." I took his hand. I gave him a small hug then walked down the stairs to everyone in the kitchen eating breakfast. I could feel everyone's eyes burning a whole into my back.

"Is he ok?" I heard a voice call from behind me. I turned to see that Carol and Lori got up from the table and were walking towards me.

"He made it through the night," was all I could say before tearing up. Knowing that Daryl survived the night wasn't an improvement, but it was all I could say. Carol pulled me into a hug.

I thanked both Carol and Lori for caring and went to the living room to get my things. I spotted Daryl and Jessica's tent outside the window. I missed the simplest things about Daryl, but what I missed the most about him was his voice. Even though he would either be complaining or yelling at someone, I missed hearing his voice. I grabbed everything I needed and headed to the bathroom. .

I closed the door to the bathroom and sighed, leaning my head against the door. I looked up and stared at myself in the mirror. I looked no worse than a walker. My hair was matted to a point of no return. I was covered in dirt, sweat and blood. My clothes stained with unimaginable colors. I stripped off my clothes and turned around so I could look at me back. The burn on my back was still there, as ugly as ever. How could someone like Daryl Dixon love someone as ugly as me? He was strong and beautiful and kind. I was weak, pathetic and gross. He probably told me he loved me out of pity and the heat of the moment. He doesn't love me because I'm me.

I stepped into the warm shower and the feeling of the water against my body felt amazing. I scrubbed off all the blood and sweat until I was red. I thought back to the time when Daryl and I went out hunting and he told me he loved me. I laughed at the memory, but started to cry at the ones of him bleeding and almost dying in my arms.

I turned off the water and grabbed a towel. I dried myself and got dresses. I put on my clean pair of black jeans and my dark blue v-neck shirt. I combed my wet hair and picked up the old, blood covered clothing. I went outside to the fire and threw them in, piece by piece. Rick walked up next to me, watching the horrors of yesterday burn away.

"Any improvement?" I asked Rick still looking into the flames. "Hershel said we are going to have to see if he survives the night again."