Chapter 6: "Words"

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  • Dedicated to everyone single one of my readers!
                                    

R.I.P. {I won't say who in case not to spoil anyone} I'll miss you, my little songbird.

There was nothing. Absolutely nothing. 

Words that he meant to say wouldn't come, he couldn't even beg the heavens for her. He felt like they were a sinking boat and there was no time left; and he was ready to drown.

They never should have fallen in love.

Everyone dies eventually and she left him alone. She broke down his walls and explored every inch and crevice of his mind, leaving him bare and stripped clean. They were people who never should have fallen in love; they were no Maggie and Glenn, no Beth and Daryl. They were just two kids who had no one else left to fall in love with and decided that maybe fate thought they belonged together. He loved her with all his heart, he did, but if they were meant to be together, she wouldn't have died so young.

It wasn't about them though, it wasn't about him or her even. It was about life maybe giving them another chance.

When Aislynn took a breathe of life in Rick's arms, her mouth letting out feeble puffs of cold air that weren't noticed, it was clear that maybe there was something about Carl and Aislynn that refused to let go.

Even when she was dead and gone, she wasn't. She was life and he was eternal; they were the spark that each of them needed.

She was alive and breathing, he was grieving.

He just followed behind his father, watching the way her head bobbed unnaturally with every step.

"She's dead, isn't she?" Carl asked, trying to disguise the quiver in his voice. "She's dead because I didn't try to find her, dad. I didn't look for her and now she-"

"It's not your fault, Carl," Rick said, adjusting the frozen figure in his arms. "She was Daryl's too and he didn't look for her. It's no one's fault, especially not yours."

Carl nodded his head, staring deep into the woods. This didn't feel like heartbreak, this felt like every part of his body was broken.

"Are you trying to throw this away?" he asked, staring across at her but her jaw was set hard.

"I don't know," she said through gritted teeth. "You-you shouldn't stay, Carl. I can't let you waste away with me," she breathed, closing her eyes against cold skin. "I'm not good for you, okay? We're broken, always have been and I refuse to take you down with me."

Carl dropped his head into his hands, her words sinking in.

"Say something, Carl! Because I can't keep going like this, not anymore. I'm giving up, okay? Is that what you want to hear? Say something or that's it; I'm giving up on us. Convince me to keep faith is us and all we have cause I'm still new at this. I know we've been in love for about a year, maybe more, but I'm still learning and if this isn't worth trying for then tell me."

"It is, Aislynn."

"Convince me, Carl! How do I know this is going to work? Give me a reason to wishfully think that we're in love, like we should be."

Carl was at a loss of words, stumbling over them.

"There is a hurt here that can't be healed with a kiss and band-aids."

"We're together because it feels right, even if it isn't. If the universe, some greater force, doesn't want us together, then it will tell us. We need to just hope that what we have- this flame- can't be extinguished. You ignited me, something inside me-"

"If this is about sex then I don't have time for this-"

"Aislynn, it's about us and sex is a part of that. We're young and lonely but we have each other."

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