Tomorrow Will Be Kinder {IHOFIL Sequel}

Chapter 3: "Winter Sun; In My Veins"

Beth remembered the many stories she'd heard of the Dixons. They were dark and troubled, tales of drug use and an abusive father. She could still recall hearing them from Maggie a few years ago when she was fifteen and she'd told her older sister that a man- Daryl Dixon of all people- was sitting on a motorbike outside of her school. When he'd showed up at the Greene farm, neither of them recognised each other but Maggie warned Beth to stay away from him. Perhaps that was why Maggie hadn't approved of the relationship but in the end, before she'd succumbed to her fate, she told Beth she was proud of Daryl. The blonde didn't know if it really counted-  Maggie was ill and delusional- but she accepted it; being one of the first times the words had been uttered and held true meaning. He'd probably never heard them before anyway.

She was separated from him by possibly miles and she was there without him; without her family. She dreamt about him all the time but they were mostly nightmares. Sometimes, when her lonely mind was feeling particularly cruel, she'd wake wrapped up in his arms only to wake alone in her bed. Other nights, she'd dream of killing him and wake up covered in sweat, screaming.

Daryl was never there to comfort her gentle soul, only Gareth, and some nights the realisation made her dream for the sweet release of death. Only when the sun rose and the darkness slipped away for another time was she able to fully relax. Something about the light of day brought her comfort she had never experienced at the prison. Maybe it was deeper than just that, maybe it was symbolism. That she was the sun and Daryl was the darkness and she was afraid of losing herself to him.

She shook her head, looking around at the woods that surrounded Terminus. She was so occupied that she barely realised the sun was setting around her.

Beth clenched her fist, squeezing her eyes against the sun; casting an orange glow on the ground. Even without him, she still felt as if his hand was in hers. In a way it was sick. The hand could be his ghost in a strange way; he was dead and this was how she was feeling his presence.

The sad truth was, he was in her veins and she'd need to bleed to get him out, to forget him and that was impossible. There was no way to get him out and there was no way she wanted to forget him. She could still feel his fingertips like ice on her skin and hear the pleasure in his voice, the utter euphoria, as they made love and she could still recall calling his name to the heavens with each shudder of pleasure that went through her body.

Beth stared up at the winter sun, because who knows, maybe somewhere, somehow, Daryl was looking at it too and it made her feel a whole lot safer.

{________________}

Daryl blinked his tired eyes against the setting sun. His eyes were thick with sleep and even his eye bags had eye bags. He refused to sleep; to close his eyes for more than a few minutes at a time. Each time he did, he saw Beth. But not his loving Beth, the one who'd kiss his wounds away and heal his scars, this was the real Beth.

"I don't love you" teased around his head so he'd taken watch to try and forget the wounding words. If Beth had said anything to Rick, he hadn't shared it with the group.

Daryl pulled her letter from his pocket, unfolding the crinkled paper slowly. There were words on her not meant for him but he needed them. He needed a reminder that what they had once shared was maybe love; that in a strange way it meant something for the younger Greene sister.

'Daryl; my first love,' it read and he scoffed, already disappointed with the first sentence. It was a lie and she wasn't even kind enough to write a letter about breaking his heart.

'Darling, if you're reading this, it means I'm gone. It means that you lost me and this is all you have, so hold onto this, hold onto me.

So, this is a brief overview of the most amazing story in the world; the love between Daryl Dixon and Beth Greene. Because, who know that a naïve farm-girl would ever end up with the bitter hunter?

We first met at my daddy's farm but I'd seen you before that, did I ever tell you that? I was walking out of school one day and there you were, the son of a drugged-up abusive father, sitting on your motorbike like the world sucked; maybe for you it did. I stared at you, you know? I'd grown up with tales of the Dixon's before I was nine years old, hearing of the rowdy and disgusting ways of your family. It was hard to believe there was a kind soul, and a heart, underneath your hard armour but I've found them. There is nothing more beautiful than your love for me, Daryl. You grew up hated and beaten, crushed under the boot of society, but you never let it showed. You held yourself with a confidence unseen wherever you went. I remember hearing about your father, that arrogant pig, and the way he used to belt you. Maggie told me before I could spell 'library'. She used to sit down and whenever we played go-fish, she talked about your family. I don't wanna repeat what she said but before she died, she said she loved you. Not me, you, Daryl. She said she was wrong and that we had something special, a candle in the darkness, that we needed to hold onto. I never told you, I figured you should find out somehow, so there you go.

Anyway, do you remember the first time we kissed? I do, trust me. I was trembling and I couldn't help thinking how pathetic it was.  I kept thinking about how old you were and how wrong the age difference was but us together was just so right. You thought I was just some stupid bible girl and I thought you were just some stupid redneck hick. In a way, we fit together like pieces of a jigsaw, even if at first everyone else- and us- didn't see it.

I didn't like you; I believed every word of the trash I heard from Maggie. But the first time you called me beautiful then this blush rose to your cheeks when I called you on it, I knew you weren't the man everyone thought you were. You were so much more and I wanted to strip away your armour- and clothes- and just be with you. I wanted to scream your name to the heavens and mould our lips together. I wanted to give you everything you'd never had and I couldn't.

Listen, I want you to move on. I'm gone and you deserve someone who kisses you with certainty and doesn't fight with you because she's a stupid twenty-something year-old whose life was ruined by the apocalypse. Make a family, Daryl, the one I couldn't give you. I'm sorry.

I love you,

Beth.'

I told myself I wasn't going to cry when writing this chapter and I so did. Almost midnight and this made me sob like a baby. Hopefully you guys don't cry as much as I did. I feel pathetic for crying over my own writing but whatever, this was freakin' heart-breaking to write.

Amy out.