Chapter 5: "It's So Quiet Here"

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Maybe it was all her imagination.

The voice behind her demanding she stopped because when she finally turned after relieving the world of Gareth and his poison, there was no one there. Just the winter wind.

The clearing was silent apart from the echo of the gunshot in her head and the crunch of leaves as she walked, wiping her nose on her sleeve.

It was so quiet and so deadly.

The only thing that kept her going was the fact that Daryl and Beth were still back at Terminus. One about to be roasted, one about to eat the roast.

There was a thin line between the hunted and the hunter and Aislynn had crossed it. No longer was she Aislynn- soft, sweet, naïve and innocent. She was Azy- monster, murderer, cannibal and loner.

She kept walking, holding a hand to her head, clutching at it. It ached from the blow Gareth had aimed at it- a sharp punch- before succumbing to a bloody death.

"You'll survive, it's what we do, Aislynn. We keep our heads up and breathe even if sometimes it hurts. We're survivors. We don't die, you don't die. Everyone does eventually but not us; not you. You can't die because you're so important. To me and to everyone. I need you, I always have, and you won't die."

She could still hear the voice, so familiar it hurt, talking to her. It was nice but terribly sad. Every time she heard it, it was accompanied by one of her own sobs.

It was only until she placed the voice to a face that it really hurt, that she really began to cry.

"Carl," she trembled, her bottom lip shivering. "C-Carl."

She leaned against a tree, snow touching her as she sat down against it. She was so utterly alone that she was imagining him now.

The winter sun began to set slowly and she watched it through snow-littered eyelashes and afternoon fog. The whole time she watched it, his voice haunted her and she desperately prayed- much like her cousin Merle had- for God to keep her safe. Except, she didn't want to live. The snow seeped its way into her skin and soon enough, she was frozen to the bone. All she had to do was sit and wait; death would find a way to claim her as one of its own.

It was selfish, killing a woman's son, a boy's brother, but she'd never liked the family anyway, especially after Alex had touched her; touched her in ways only Carl was allowed, kissed her in places only Carl was allowed.

Carl had seen parts of her no one else had seen but no one had seen this side. No one had stumbled upon a hypothermic Aislynn before, lips blue and skin pale white.

No one had until Rick had gone looking for Daryl, concerned of his whereabouts and spotted an almost-frozen figure crouched in the sun near a tree, a beautiful face stuck in time.

When he saw her, his own body unable to move, a thousand thoughts ran through his head.

He pulled off his jacket, cursing the bitter wind, and ran to her, crouching beside her and wrapping her stiff body in his warm jacket.

"Aislynn," he barked, holding her close to his chest. This was not happening, she was not dying in his arms; not here, not now.

"Carl!" he yelled, hoping his panicked voice was loud enough to bring his son to him. There was no way she was going to die in his arms, she should atleast go in Carl's- the arms of the man she loves.

"It's okay," he soothed, staring down at her, running a hand through tangled hair. "You'll be alright,  you can't die here, you'll be okay..."

The young boy stumbled into the clearing, messy hair and wild eyes. "D-" he started but once his eyes landed on her, Rick could see the sadness in them; like each and every emotion was pouring out of them.

"Is that-?" he asked and there was nothing else to be said until he knelt down besides her and took her numb body from his father. "Is she dead?" he asked, inhaling sharply.

"I don't know."

"She-she can't be. That isn't fair. I didn't get to say goodbye. I didn't get to..." he trailed off, leaning forward to press his forehead to hers as he cried.

Rick saw the briefest hint of a smile on Aislynn's face before she finally bit out a sentence.

"I can see the stars," she whispered, her voice broken and sad and even though this would probably be the last time they saw each other, neither could find any words to describe how they felt.

"I'll be over here," Rick cleared his throat, motioning over to another tree a few metres away.

Carl didn't acknowledge his father, just watched her. "Don't you dare do that," he demanded. "We're not doing that, not now. I know what those words mean and not right now. Never will you utter those words, Aislynn. You're not dying, you can't see the stars. It was stupid of us to think of that; a sentence to tell each other we were not going to make it."

"The stars are shining, baby," she cooed, her voice distance and shattered. "Look how they're shining for us. Ain’t they pretty?"

"No, they're not. Come on, please. Aislynn, you can't leave me, Aislynn."

Her eyes sealed shut against snow-white skin, refusing to open again.

"I-I'm not leaving you, ever, come on. You're not dead, you're not. You're okay, remember? We're going to be one of those pancake-making families, right? Right? Come on, please! You're gonna be a housewife and I'm gonna be a sheriff and it's going to be perfect. We're going to have kids, okay? So you can't die because I'm not done with you yet. We're not done, our story isn't over."

"Carl," Rick muttered, tugging on his son's shoulder. "We have to get back to Michonne."

"No, she's okay. We can carry her, she's just passed out. She's cold, that s'all. She'll be okay, right, dad?"

Rick couldn't meet his son's eyes as he shook his head.

"No!" Carl shrieked, clutching her stiff body to hers. "No!"

Rick stared at his son and the dead girl in Carl's arm, his own tears pricking his eyes. This was never meant to happen. Carl was never meant to lose her, she wasn't never meant to leave this world. She was too pure and innocent; a heart of gold and a broken soul.

Carl's sobs filled the silence and Rick had to sniff at his own.

And the clearing was deadly silent apart from the boy's desperate cries for his love to come back to him.

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