18 | Truth Hurts.

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The next day.

I stayed awake all night, thinking about Em and Ash, and the possible reasons any of them could have to lie to me. The more I think about it, the more confused I get. I'm torn between the two of them and whoever's side I'm going to take, I'll end up losing. I'm pulled out from my thoughts by a very loud bang on the front door and I look at the time: 6:57 am. Who the hell comes to someone's place and bangs on the door like that so early in the morning? The banging continues and I wait for Tris to go take care of it but apparently he's either deep asleep or waiting for me to get up. I drag myself out of bed and make my way to the front door where the banging is still going on. Before opening the door, I look at the camera to see who's the deranged person about to break the door. We had them installed for security reasons after some fans found our address a few months ago. Fuck me, I think to myself as I recognize the person on the monitor. What is he doing here?

"What the fuck do you want", I say as I open the door, already getting pissed just by looking at him.

"Look who finally showed up", Jay answers, clearly wasted and barely able to stand straight. "Brad fucking Simpson. You know, I've been doing a lot of thinking last night", he says, emphasizing the word 'lot' before pausing for a second. "And it all became clear to me"

"What the fuck are you talking about? Look, man, I don't have time for this shi...", I start to say before he interrupts me.

"How long have you been fucking her?", he asks, looking at me with disgust. "All those nights you two spent together, when she claimed nothing happened, that you two are just 'friends'", he says with air quotes. "I fucking knew she was lying. Because that's what she does, about everything. Does your girlfriend know?"

Why do I have to deal with that moron? He clearly doesn't care about anything I have to say and he wouldn't believe me anyway.

"Dude, you've got it all wrong, nothing ever happened with Em", I say before realizing that's not true. Something did happen. We kissed. But we were both drunk, and she doesn't even remember it. Does it even count? Not that Jay would care anyways considering the state he's in. "Now get the fuck out", I add, not willing to deal with his breakup bullshit.

"I've been thinking about it all night", he says, completely ignoring me. "Why making your girlfriend do the dirty work when you could have done it yourself?"

Wait, what? What does he mean by sending Ash to do the dirty work? Did she really tell him? No, Ash wouldn't have done that. I mean why would she? What reason could she possibly have to contact him? No. He's drunk and delusional.

"You didn't know she told me, did you?", Jay asks, seeing the surprised look on my face. "Fuck, it all makes sense now. She must have found out about you and Em and that's her payback", he mumbles to himself.

What the hell is happening?

"Hold on, what are you talking about? What did Ash tell you?", I ask, feeling my blood starting to boil inside of me.

"How have I been so fucking blind", Jay says as he continue to ignore everything I say. "You two really deserve each other. Two lying fuckers, fucking each other"

He pauses again, looking at the ground before he raises his head up and looks straight at me.

"You know what's funny though, I was thinking of proposing to her", he says with a sad scoff. "I thought I had found the perfect girl. So I guess I can thank your girlfriend for stopping me from making the biggest mistake of my life", he adds and my entire body freezes at the sound of what he just said. He was going to propose? But they'd only been dating for what, ten months? They weren't even living together. Well not officially at least. And the last I heard, he didn't even say 'I love you' to her. So how could he have been thinking of proposing? Had they already reached that stage in their relationship? Were they really about to commit to each other for life before all this shit happened? No, they weren't that serious. Fuck, they were, weren't they? And I fucked it all up. All of this is my fault, no wonder why Em reacted like that. She's been telling the truth all along. Ash did tell Jay for whatever fucked up reason she had. I can't believe Ash did that. Em hates me because of her. Is that what she wanted? But why? My heart's bleeding thinking how hurt Em is because of me and I suddenly realize that while I was stupidly defending my girlfriend, I was losing my best friend. The one person I should have trusted since the beginning. The one person who's always been there for me, no matter how much of a jerk I am to her. But I know that this time is different. This time she's not gonna forgive me, not after what I've done. I feel sick at the idea of losing Em, of never getting to talk to her or see her again. She's my everything, I need her in my life. The thought of what my life would be without her is making me realize how much I love her and I remember what Tris said to me yesterday, that I'm in love with her without even realizing it. Is he right? Is that what love is supposed to feel like? Like life isn't worth living without that person? Then I clearly ain't in love with Ash because right now all I want is for her to disappear from my life. I get pulled out of my thoughts by Jay throwing up right at my feet. Are you fucking kidding me.

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