Broken Pieces

Chapter 17

Maya’s POV

it has been a year sense I met josh, a year sense our first date. Today my friends it is our anniversary, and I’m excited about the gift I have for him, he has been waiting a year for it. But his an hour late for our dinner date, what could be holding him? Is he okay? I look up to see him walking towards our table. He kisses me on my forehead.

“Sorry I’m late baby, couldn’t get out of work.”

“Its okay.”

“I see you started drinking without me”

“yeah”

I said looking down at my drink, knowing I had two other drinks before this one and I start playing with my hands under the table. We order our food.

“So how was work?” I said looking at him about to put food in my mouth.

“You know how it is, have to keep the boss happy, unlike you I’m not besties with my bosses I had to work for their respect.”

I stop eating and just look at him. He always throws that in my face, he thinks that I didn’t have to work as hard as he did because I’m good friends with my ex-bosses. I worked my ass off to be where I am today and he knows that. Just because I became a partner and he is still where he was when we first met don’t mean anything. I worked all day and then I worked all night with no sleep to be where I am, it makes me mad as hell whenever he says that shit. I want to though my fucking drink at his over prices suit but I don’t, it’s not lady like. Does he think that I flash my pussy around to get people to bow down to my will? I bet he does, just because I’m not giving him any doesn’t mean I’m sleep around, I haven’t slept with anyone sense……never mine. I stop looking at him and started eating again.

“Okay, I can’t do this anymore.” He says slamming his spoon on his table. I barely look up at him.

“Do what honey?”

“This” that’s when I look up and he is pointing between himself and me. I look at him with a question mark on my face.

“Is it because I didn’t say I love you back” I said putting my fork down and giving him my full action.

“No this is so much more than that.”

“Enlighten me”

“I can’t be with a woman that doesn’t feel for me”

“I don’t understand”

“for example we haven’t fought, not once”

“I don’t understand, you want to fight?”

“No I’m just saying you show no emotion towards me”

“I beg to differ, I kiss you don’t I? I bring you food at work, I even dog sit for you, if I didn’t ‘feel for you’ I wouldn’t have been doing those things.”

“Okay look, when someone breaks up with a girl they don’t act like your acting know, they cry.”

“Okay ‘girls’ that act like I’m acting know are ‘girls’ that want to know what they can do to fix things.”

“ I’m sorry” he shacks his head “we can’t fix this”

“why? Okay tell me the truth are you seeing someone else.” He doesn’t say anything. “Josh I’m not stupid, I know the signs.” I said then I started eating again, why waste good food.

“Maya we haven’t even had sex!”

“ I told you, I wanted to know that we were in a good enough space, it was going to happen tonight but, well to bad. So who is she?”

he looked shocked as if to say that if he knew he would have broken up with me in the morning.

“Don’t worry about that it’s none of your busy.”

I take a sip of wine and ignore his answer “do I know her?” he doesn’t reply “so I do? Does she work in the office?” still he doesn’t say anything. I laugh “is it Alex? Deedee? Mona? Are you worried I might fire her? Don’t, I’m not evil” I finished with my plate and my wine. I got up and walked to his side, kissed him on his forehead like he always does me and say “good-bye Josh, I wish you the best in life.” Then I walk away and I know his watching me leave.

I left the restaurant and started walking around, I found a park. I didn’t what to drive home knowing I had too much to drive. Maybe his right, maybe I didn’t feel for him, don’t feel for him. I know I should feel something but I don’t I just, don’t. I tried to, I really did, maybe there is something wrong with me, am I unable to love? I left a tear fall from my eyes not because of the break up but more for the fact that I am unable to love, how did I get this way? Has Brandon broken me more than I know? I pull out my phone to call john. We have become really good friends these past seven months. Jessica and I don’t talk much anymore, she’s too busy now a days and I would never tell john this about his wife but she’s a hoe and I don’t like her much anymore.

“Hey Maya aren’t you supposed to be on your date.”

My voice breaks “John ca...Can you um come get me?”

“Yeah... yeah where are you, are you okay?”

“I’m okay, um I don’t, I don’t really know where I am.”

“WHAT THE FUCK! What do you mean you don’t know where you are!”  

“I left the restaurant and started walking I seem a park and sat down”

“are you at the park near the restaurant?”

“Yeah”

“okay I’m on my way, don’t hang up talk to me”

“okay, how are you doing today?” he laughs and says “I should be asking you that.”

We talked for thirty minutes, I told him what happened at the restaurant from top to bottom. He didn’t say anything he just started to breathe harder. I know his breaking the speed limits because it takes more than thirty minutes to get here from my condo. When he gets here he doesn’t even let me walk to the car he takes me into his arms and puts me in his car, his such a good friend. I slept all the way to the house. I woke up when he was putting me down on my bed. I look up at him, he doesn’t see that I’m up because his eyes are close about to kiss me on my check, I close my eyes and just feel him looking at me, then I feel him walking away.

“You’re leaving?” he turns around to face me while I sit up in bed.

“Yeah”

“why, Jessica is off on business, sleep with me”

"because Maya I... I just can’t” then I raised my arms up like a baby and softly say

“please?”

he looks at me for a while and says something under his breath and started taking his shirt and pants off leaving his undershirt and boxers. Then he comes to the bed and embraces me, I lay my head on his chest and listen to his fast but solid heartbeat. I close my eyes and smile with the smell of john all around me.