Dear Peter

Chapter 19

♾

"You think suicide is cowardly? I'll tell you what's cowardly. Hurting someone so much that they want to end their lives."

⚜️

Wow.

Even in death she doesn't want me to feel guilty. She doesn't want me to blame myself, even though everything that's happened has been my fault. I broke my vows, I broke her heart again and again. Yet, she still believes that she wasn't good enough when in reality it was me. She was perfect, I was the one that screwed up.

Who puts someone they love through that kind of pain? What type of person pushes someone to kill them self?

The answer is me.

I was a horrible person, and even worse I was a horrible husband to the last person who deserved it. I don't have a valid reason, I didn't want revenge or anything like that. And least of all I didn't want to hurt her.

I know what you're thinking, 'why cheat on someone you didn't want to hurt'? The answer is I truly don't know.

All I know is that I was going through a rough time, and I know that's not an excuse, it's just a fact.

I was going through a rough time and during that time I made a mistake. After that I promised myself it wouldn't happen again and that I wasn't the type of person who cheats on his wife... But I was because it happen again and again.

It happened over and over again and for short period of time, I stop feeling guilty. I stopped being a man who cheats on his wife. I was just a man having sex with no strings attached.

and then it happened, she killed her self and all the guilt came rushing back. I'm not the one who deserves to be alive right now. I should be the one laying in the ground dead, not her. She didn't deserve any of this.

I've decided to write her an apology letter, even though I know she will never get the chance to read it I still want to get it all off my chest, so here I go.

Dear Aurora,

The only thing I can say is I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the lying, cheating, and everything else I did to cause you pain. I wish I could rewind time so I could fix my mistake. So I could be the man you once loved.

Play short time in the beginning we were happy but I went and ruined it. at this point it doesn't matter but I still want to say it. Chiara meant nothing to me, she was just someone who was there. I wasn't in love with her or anything it was just sex.

You however, were the best thing that ever happened to me. You are the love of my life and will always be the love of my life. I admit I've made mistakes but you had nothing to do with it. It wasn't your fault and I wish that I could've told you that before you did what you did.

I know it doesn't seem like it but I love you and I will keep loving you until the day I die. I'm so sorry I never got the chance to fix my mistake. But maybe in a different life I will be able to.

Sincerely,
Peter

I finally made a decision. I know now what I have to do. I went to my office and got the suicide note I pre-written and I...

⚜️⚜️⚜️