Dear Peter

Chapter 12

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It's amazing when you find someone who appreciates you for everything someone else took for granted."

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Dear Peter,

You probably haven't even noticed that I left, and if you did you most likely didn't waste any time bringing Chiara into the bed we use to share. The other day after dinner I packed my bag and booked a flight to Greece. I left a note but you probably didn't even care. The only thing you care about is your precious mistress. Not the woman who took care of you for several years. I don't want to rub it in your face, not that its anything for you to be jealous about but I met someone.

Someone that finds me interesting and actually pays attention to me and we even had dinner together. Not to be a bitch but you should feel threatened. That a man that's not my husband flirts with me and it makes my day. He's treated me better in two weeks than you have throughout our entire marriage.

He makes me laugh, like really laugh. Rolling on the ground in tears kind of laughing. When was the last time you made me laugh Peter? Really tell me because honestly I cant remember. We also have a lot in common, he was also married to an adulterer. But that's the thing he had the balls to leave and I don't.

He understands what I'm going through. To be constantly hurt by the person whose supposed to love me most in the world. He told me it wasn't my fault he actually made me believe it wasn't me and its you that's screwed up. But I still love you. If I wasn't married to you I can honestly tell you that I would be with Derek. Derek is a good, honest guy and even though I only met him a few days ago I can tell you he would be a much better husband than you are.

When you look at me, your not really seeing me and when Derek looks at me, he actually see's me. I can see it in his eyes that he thinks I'm strong to have put up with you for so long. I can tell that were going to be great friends.

He kissed me after dinner last night. As soon as it happened I pushed him off of me and explained to him that I didn't want to be like you. I didn't want to be a cheater. I told him that no matter what I would always love you and that there's still a tiny bit of hope left that we can work things out. Even though I didn't kiss him back I thought about doing it. I wanted to cheat on you because that's the only thing you do to me. I wanted to break my vows and its all your fault Peter. And if I would've cheated on you if wouldn't have been because you cheated on me. It would have been because he paid attention to me, he talked to me, he is attracted to me, he's everything I've been looking for in our marriage.

He makes me feel like a teenager with a crush again. After the kiss he apologized and told me it would never happen again but he wanted to stay friends, and I agreed because I need someone in my life like him. To remind me that it's not my fault. To remind me that I deserve love as much as anyone else. All I keep thinking is I should've cheated on you.

I should have cheated on you, Peter.

With much love,

Aurora

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