Fading

~E l e v e n~

Welcome back everyone!! This chapter takes place after her panic attack in the cafeteria with Hayden.

Amara's POV
So stupid! So so stupid...

I completely humiliated myself in front of that doctor. Now he thinks I'm some crazy child who can't have a simple conversation with an adult. So embarrassing.

Before I knew it, I had made it back to Kimi's hospital room where my parents were. Luckily I still had the food they wanted but I was at least a half an hour late. I was so getting punished for this.

"Where the hell were you? Can't you do anything right?" My mom scolded, taking the tray of food I had in my hands.

"You're 45 minutes late! When you get home I want the whole house scrubbed clean! That will teach you to be on time next time..." she muttered while my dad just glared.

"I-I can't s-stay h-here?" I whispered, my head to the ground.

"Leave" my dad gritted out, clenching his fists.

I scurried out, not waiting for them to give me a worse punishment. With my breathing ragged, I followed the signs out of the hospital until I reached the exit. Thank god I didn't run into anyone.

I took my time walking home, enjoying the fresh air while I could. I'm sure I will be stuck in the house for a while after what I did so I wanted to take my sweet time.

After I arrived home, I got the cleaning supplies out and got to work. First the living room, then the kitchen, then all the bedrooms and bathrooms. I collapsed on the couch once I was done. I was covered in dirt and sweat and my eyelids were closing on their own.

But I knew they weren't going to be home until tomorrow and I had the rest of the night to do what I wanted. It was only seven o'clock which meant I had a couple hours until I went to bed. Which means I could take as long of a shower as I wanted! That may not seem like a treat to anyone else, but to me it felt like heaven.

As soon as I stepped under the hot water my tense shoulders relaxed and my eyes immediately shut. My whole body throbbed from hours of work and it felt so nice to just relax under the water.

I scrubbed my body from all the dirt and dried off, looking at my body in the mirror.

You're fat and ugly.

You need to lose weight.

Your scars are ugly.

No one likes you.

You're annoying and stupid.

The thoughts just kept coming, bringing tears to my eyes as I believed them. It was the reason my family hates me. I'm the disappointment.

My stomach growled, bringing me out of my thoughts. Swallowing my urge to collapse and sob, I blinked back tears and got dressed. I was still sniffling as I trudged downstairs to get a snack. Since that doctor had started talking to me, I never got to eat any of the food that I had gotten.

I didn't feel like eating a heavy meal so I settled for a clementine, one of my favorite fruits. I took the snack and climbed the stairs back up to my room.

It's not like I have any friends to talk to when I'm bored so I grab a book off my shelf and sit down on my makeshift bed.

I'm already a few minutes in when I get lost in the words on the page and lose reality. Soon enough I'm falling asleep with the book in hand.
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Waking up the next morning was a lot more painful than I imagined. My whole body was stiff and all of my bones were popping because I feel asleep reading but it was my first restful sleep in a while. It's rare that I'm actually relaxed when my alarm wakes me up in the morning. Not that I wanted to go to school, but I knew it could be my mini escape from my family.

Doing my morning routine and getting my outfit on, I rushed out the door and started my walk to school. I skipped breakfast because  I didn't want to eat but I made sure to grab an orange for lunch so I wasn't hungry later. Usually there would be no way for me to grab a snack without multiple comments from my parents but I was feeling free with them gone.

After the 15 minute walk to school, I reached the doors and walked in, getting slightly overwhelmed with the amount of people who turned to look at me.

Putting my head down, I hurried to my locker to grab my books to get to class. As I reached my locker, the bells rung, signaling the start of the day.

Sorry for the boring chapter, the action is in the next few chapters.