Fading

~T h i r t y - e i g h t~

I figured I should update this week but kind of forgot until now. Sorry!

Amara POV

I really wasn't trying to be difficult. I had no intentions of being difficult, but apparently everything I did caused another issue.

"Please sweetheart, I need you to eat at least four more bites before we can let you be done. I know you don't want to, but we only want you to be healthy" Hudson reasoned.

We were in the middle of having breakfast and I had eaten all that I could, but apparently it wasn't enough for them. I didn't want this to be a big thing, I just wasn't hungry and the stress was making my stomach flip flop. If I were to eat anymore, I would certainly throw up and I didn't want that.

"I can't, please u-understand" I pleaded, avoiding their eyes.

"How about three more bites and then you can have some ice cream, how does that sound?" Hayden suggested, earning a glare from Hudson. I had looked up to see Hudson mouth let me handle it to him.

I didn't want Hudson to handle it, I wanted to be excused from the table. I didn't understand why it's such a big deal. They have been so understanding up until now.

"Amara, I understand you don't want to, but this is non-negotiable. This is a lot less than you should be eating, so we need to work on increasing your portions. This is how we do that" He explained with a stern voice. He wasn't usually like this, his behavior was really confusing.

It made me want to cry but I had to show them I wasn't weak. Hudson thought this was about me not wanting to eat, but really it was about how I couldn't eat. He doesn't understand that I've been starved more times than I can count, he only thinks I'm not eating just so I can be difficult. I guess it's my fault for not telling them the extent of everything that happened to me, but admitting everything is so difficult.

"P-please" I begged, wishing I could just curl up into a ball on my bed.

"I'm sorry sweetie, but you can't get up from the table unless you eat four more bites" Hudson ordered.

My skin was red after I was scratching so much but I guess they didn't care. My chest hurt and I was getting a headache from all of the stress and I was just so damn tired.

Realizing I had no other choice, I began eating the four bites, knowing it was going to make me throw up.

The waffle went down slowly as I finished my bites, setting my fork on my plate.

I could feel their gazes on me and it only made me more anxious.

I had finished, weren't they happy? Why is everything I do never good enough?

I kept my gaze down, slightly upset with Hudson. I could hear whispering and what sounded like arguing but I ignored them, focusing on how terrible I felt. My stomach was in knots and so was my heart, painfully thumping against my chest.

"Good job Amara, I know that was hard for you" he praised. I didn't acknowledge him. I didn't care. They were going to be just like my parents, making me do things I didn't want to do.

I felt my stomach churn and cramp. Food and stress wasn't a good combination.

I was going to throw up.

Without asking for permission, I stood and stumbled out of the room, heading towards the bathroom. I knew this would happen. No one wanted to listen to me.

I got to the toilet just in time and threw up all of the food I had just eaten. I could hear footsteps rushing after me but I didn't want to face them. Tears began flowing down my face as I tried not to hyperventilate. Hudson was going to be so mad at me. I had just thrown up all of the food he said I had to eat. Now he was going to make me eat all of it again. I can't. I can't.

"Shh its okay babygirl, you're okay, you're safe" someone comforted from beside me. Hayden. My Dad. My Dad.

"Dad" I cried out, flinging myself onto him. He was safe. He won't hurt me.

"I'm here, it's okay, everything will be okay" he reassured as he held me tightly to his chest, one hand brushing through my hair. In that moment the only thing that mattered to me was his comfort and reassurance.

I continued to cry into his chest as words were exchanged above me. I didn't pay attention, only focusing on my breathing. The hiccupping wasn't helping.

"Angel, are you okay? How's your stomach? Still hurting?" He asked, throwing questions my way.

Luckily the pain medication was keeping the pain from my ribs away, but my stomach hurt like I was having cramps.

"It h-hurts" I said through the hiccups. My crying had slowed and I had avoided hyperventilating, but my body was exhausted. With my ribs and now this, I had had enough of this day and I was ready for a nap. A long nap.

"I'm sorry Angel, I should have stopped Hudson. I didn't realize how bad it was" He apologized, rubbing circles on my back.

"I-It's okay. Y-you didn't know" I mumbled from his chest.

"I don't want you to think that we are going to force you into things, we just want you to be happy and healthy, and Hudson took it too far. That's no excuse for his behavior" He explained.

I nodded as I started to doze off in his arms. Everything hurt and I was so so tired.

"It's okay angel, you can go to sleep, you've had a long morning, you need rest. I'll be here when you wake up okay?"

"Mhmm" I mumbled as I let myself lose grip with reality.

I didn't really want to wake up.

I know what you're thinking. More drama. Well yes, more drama. It's necessary. Trust me.

Try not to hate Hudson so much, I need him alive!!

See ya!