The Beach (Mimmy)

Chapter Eighteen: False Alarms

“Tears shed for another person are not a sign of weakness. They are a sign of a pure heart.”

-          José N. Harris

Matt went back on his offer to take Arin home after what happened in the Johnny’s Bar parking lot. He took him to Arin’s house, made sure he was safely inside, before heading home.

What had just happened? Matt’s lips were still tingling from where the drummer’s lips had rested. Why the fuck did Arin do that? Didn’t he remember Matt was married? That Jimmy was here with him? And he didn’t even have an interest in the kid. Not that kind, he couldn’t afford it.

He played it off as a drunken mistake. That was all he could do.

It was late, so he entered the house quietly, hanging up his coat and keys on the rack and hook. Matt plodded to the bedroom, kicking off his shoes and peeling off his socks before shimmying out of his pants and shirt and climbing into bed. He was greeted with an empty space next to him, and Matt sat up, puzzled. “Jimmy?” he asked.

There was no response. Now a little frightened, Matt flipped on lights as he began to search through the house. “Jimmy?” he called out. “Jimmy, where are you?”

The house was empty. Jimmy was gone.

Panicked, Matt paced the length of the living room, hands clenched in his hair. Jimmy couldn’t have been gone, there was no way. He promised he would be there when Matt got back, now where was he? The vocalist felt the ache start in his chest, and he struggled to push it back. Jimmy was not gone, he just wasn’t. There had to be some explanation, somewhere where he could be…

Matt recalled coming in earlier. Bella hadn’t been there to greet him. Where was she? Matt ran to put his clothes back on hastily, not bothering for a pair of shoes. He ran outside, and took off for the beach.

Fear ate away at his insides as he sprinted to the sand. Jimmy had to be there. There was no way he wasn’t. His feet slapped the asphalt in time to his pounding heart. A terrified rhythm, an anxious beat.

He did not see Jimmy right away. Matt’s eyes scanned the empty beach desperately, before catching on a dark shape moving in the waves. Bella.

“Bella!” he called, running towards the dog. “Bella, where’s Jimmy?”

He saw the man stand up from his place in the sand, and Matt nearly collapsed in relief. “Jimmy!” he cried, tackling the drummer and clinging to him tight. “Oh my god, Jimmy.”

Matt felt Jimmy’s arms wrap securely around him, and he buried his face in Matt’s hair. “Hey, Mattie.”

The younger man was shaking, sobs racking his frame as he pressed his face into Jimmy’s chest. “I-I thought you were- I-I thought…”

“I’m sorry, baby, I didn’t know what time you would be back, I swear.” He whispered softly into Matt’s ear. He held the vocalist at arm’s length and cupped his face, wiping away Matt’s tears with his thumbs. “Why are you crying, love?”

It had been a long time since Jimmy had called him that. Matt took a few deep breaths and leaned into Jimmy’s touch. “I was just so worried, Jimmy… I was so fucking scared…”

“Well, don’t be. Here I am. I’m sorry I scared you, but there’s no reason to cry. I love you so much, Matthew.”

Matt managed a quiet chuckle. “I love you so much too, James.”

Jimmy shifted a little and pulled Matt so he was straddling the drummer. “I really love you, Matt.”

Matt smiled, leaning down so that his lips brushed against Jimmy’s. “So what about that surprise?”

The older man laughed, flipping them over so he was on top of the vocalist. “Oh yeah…” he mused, holding Matt’s hands against the sand above his head. “I almost forgot about that.”

A pair of lips danced along Matt’s jaw. “Do you want your surprise now?” he asked, “Right here, on this beach?”

Matt nodded, gasping quietly as Jimmy’s teeth nibbled at his neck. “Y-Yes please.”

Jimmy smirked, biting down harshly on the sensitive underside of Matt’s jaw. “Alright, Mr. Sullivan.” He murmured softly. “Let’s begin.”

~*~

As much as they both wanted to, they could not spend the night on the beach. It was late, nearly three in the morning by the time they made it to their own bed. Jimmy removed his glasses and slipped into bed, Matt following suit and sliding into his husband’s open arms.

Matt knew Jimmy was crying before he could see it. He felt Jimmy’s body shake slightly with sobs, heard his breath hitch every so often as his grip on the vocalist tightened.

“Hey.” Matt whispered, turning so he could face the drummer. “What’s wrong, Jims?”

Jimmy sniffled unattractively and brushed at his tears as best he could. “I-I just… Today was scary for you, Mattie, a-and I know one day I will h-have to go and I don’t want to. I-I don’t want to leave you, Mattie, I want to stay here and take showers with you and have a fucking party on my birthday and go to family reunions. I don’t want to go, Mattie. I want to stay here with you.”

Matt chewed his lip, taking Jimmy’s hand and kissing it gently. “You’re beautiful, Jimmy.” He murmured softly, and the older man gave a small smile through his tears. He opened his mouth to speak, but Matt continued, “Maybe you’re too beautiful for this world. Maybe we just can’t handle you here anymore, because you’re just too amazing for us.”

Jimmy frowned. “B-But I-“

Matt cut Jimmy off with a chaste kiss, letting his lips linger against the older man’s. When he pulled away, Jimmy smiled softly. “Have I ever told you I love you, Mattie?” he asked jokingly, an undertone of seriousness in his words. Matt pretended to think for a moment.

“Hmm, maybe once or twice.” He said teasingly, licking Jimmy’s cheek, something that the drummer had always done to Matt.

Jimmy smiled in complete adoration at the younger man. “Well I absolutely do. I mean it 100%. God, I love you so much.”

Matt nuzzled his face in Jimmy’s neck. “Well guess what?” he asked quietly, but didn’t wait for Jimmy to reply before he answered his question.

“I love you too.”