My Co-Lover (H.F.T. & J.L.)

24.

HERO

The day Jo left me was probably one of the worst days of my life. I stayed in my room and cried half the day. The other half I just sat on my bed looking at the door waiting for her to burst in and hug me and tell me that she lied her heart out and she's still in love with me.

I waited and waited looking at the door with a blank expression.

But it never opened.

At night I cried myself to sleep. 

The next day my mom knocked the door to bring me coffee and breakfast but I refused. 

A few hours later Mercy came in without asking and sat on my bed next to me.

"Look at you! You are pathetic, crying over a girl!" She said.

I didn't answer her.

"Wake up! We're going out for a walk," she said.

"I don't want to"

"What do you want then?" She asked.

I burried my head on the pillow letting out a sob.

"Her to come back" I cracked.

She caressed my arm sympathetically.

"You're not like that, bro. You don't cry over girls" she said.

"She deserves for me to cry for her. She deserves fucking everything, Mercy! I couldn't be what she wanted me to be and now I deserve to suffer! For her. Do you fucking understand that?" I yelled at her throwing her my pillow.

"And what, are you going to let everyone down like that?" She yelled hitting me in the head with my pillow. "What about our cousins? They all look up to you! Think about Lena. She always looked up to you like you were her hero. You set the bar high for every guy she's going to meet when she grows up. And Luke? Jake? They look at you and think that they want to be like you one day! You are their hero, Hero!" she yelled hitting my arm. "No pun intended" 

"No pun intended indeed. Because I'm noone's hero. All I wanted was to be the hero of one girl and I messed up and she hates me now"

Mercy sighed and left right after without a second word.

Around 6PM I decided to go downstairs to grab something to eat. The lights were low as I spotted everyone to the couch watching what I assumed was Finding Nemo. Memories of the night I watched that movie with Jo on my hotel room around ten chapters ago floaded through my mind and suddenly I wanted to cry again. It was the first night we got a little bit intimate with each other. The next day I woke up my neck full with hickeys and happier than ever.

A let out a sad chuckle letting a tear run on my cheek.

The sound made all the heads that were sitting at the couch look at me. 

"Sorry" I laughed wiping the tear off my face. "I didn't mean to disturb" 

Lena ran to me.

"Come on Hero I save you a seat" she said cheerfull grabbing my hand. I smiled saddly and decided to sit and actually watch the movie.

It was the first time I was watching the movie, because last time Jo and I didn't quite finish it. 

At the end of the movie Dory's 'just keep swimming' song stuck to me head.

That is what I have to do. I have to keep swimming.

I sighed.

But why do I feel like I'm just floating?