JAGS (Just Another Gangster Story)

JAGS Part II: For the Love of Johann Ch. 22

Just Another Gangster Story (JAGS) Part II

For the Love of Johann
©iAmJulie, 2014.

Chapter Twenty-Two

"Kelly, hmm.. did you already receive the invitation?"

Hindi siya agad makaimik.. Hindi nga niya siguro kayang magsalita. She just stared at the invitation in front of her. She can't afford to hold nor touch it again after reading its content.

"Kelly, hey.. Are you still there?" malambing na tanong sa kanya ng kaibigan niya. Ramdam na ramdam niya na nag-aalala ito sa kanya.

Her hands were shaking. She thinks she'll breakdown at any moment. Wala pa man din siyang kasama sa bahay. niya. She can't stop her tears from flowing.

"Kelly, pupunta ako dyan ha. Wait lang."

Hindi na siya sumagot kay Jazz. Dahan dahan niyang ibinaba ang cellphone niya. She let out a sob. Kanina pa niya pinipigilang mapahikbi dahil nahihiya siya kay Jazz. Lalo lang maaawa sa kanya ang kaibigan niya.

There will be an engagement party on Saturday.. Johann and Samantha's engagement party.

Ilang beses niyang binasa ang nakalagay sa invitation kanina. Nung una, akala niya namalikmata lang siya. But it was real.. What she read was real. Si Johann na lalaking mahal niya at lihim pa din niyang minamahal, magpapakasal na sa iba.

Iba pala ang pakiramdam pag nalaman mong magpapakasal na sa iba ang tanging lalaking mahal mo. The fact that Johann has a girlfriend was quite bearable to her. Ang dahilan niya, hindi pa naman sila kasal. Okay pa yun, may pag-asa pa siya.. But the fact that Johann was now engaged to be married, it's freaking unbearable! Ang tagal niyang naghintay para sa chance na maipakita niya ulit kay Johann na mahal na mahal pa rin niya ito.. Nagtiis siyang masaktan ng ilang ulit. Tapos, sa iba din pala mauuwi si Johann.

Yes, she's willing to do everything for the love of Johann. She would do everything just to have him back again. But she respected his relationship with Samantha. Little did she knew na magde-desisyon si Johann na magpakasal na. Kung alam lang niya, nagpaka-bitch na lang sana siya at pilit na inagaw si Johann mula kay Samantha.

Samantalang nung isang linggo, nung nasa Baguio sila, napag-usapan pa nila ni Jazz si Johann. They talked about the possibility that she and Kurt could be in a relationship. But she entertained the thought. Pero hindi pa niya kaya dahil mahal na mahal pa rin niya si Johann. It was the first time that she admitted to Jazz that she's still head over heels in love with Johann. Nagulat si Jazz siyempre. Ang alam lang daw kasi nito eh di lang siya nakaka-move on and that she still have a little feelings for Johann. Pero hindi daw nito alam na ganun pa din ka-grabe yung nararamdaman niya kay Johann.

That night, she also talked to Kurt. She cleared things out for him. Sinabi niya ditong wala talaga itong pag-asa sa kanya. She doesn't want to be unfair to him. He's a great guy.. Pero mahal pa din niya si Johann. Tinanggap naman ni Kurt ang reason niya. Wala naman daw itong magagawa. But he insisted that he'll always be there for her when she needs him.

And this engagement shit shocked the hell out of her. Is this a sign na wag na siyang umasa pa? Is this a sign para matauhan na siya at tanggapin sa sarili niya na what's lost will never be back again. Johann is her greatest love.. And just the thought of losing him to another woman sucks the air out of  her being.

"Kelly?"

She didn't bother to see who called her name. Hindi siya lumingon. Dali dali niyang pinunasan ang mga luha niya. Ayaw niyang mag-alala ng sobra si Jazz sa kanya. She felt her friend's arms enveloped her in a symphatetic hug. Damang dama niya ang concern ni Jazz. Hindi na naman niya napigilan ang sarili na umiyak. May karamay na siya ngayon.