The Quarterbacks Baby

Chapter Twelve

"Can I have any shoe laces, jewlery, sharp objects, or hair ties?" The front lady asks, I hand her my entire shoes, I go to take off my ring when I look down to it.

"Do I have to take my ring off? I dont want to." I mutter not wanting to take it off, I will feel so isolated, so different here, this is the last thing I have until I feel sane. 

"Yes, all jewlery." She says in a duh tone, as if Im an idiot, I carefully slip it off and I already feel lost, and unloved. I slide it under the shatter proof glass and she takes it slipping it in a giant bag with my shoes in it. "Here are your clothes." She slides under some very dull grey scrubs and slippers. "The officer with escort you to the changing room then to your room." She says tossing my things to the side, a cringe forms on my face, she isnt treating my things respectfully. The officer grabs my arm and leads me to my changing room harshly. I already shove myself into my own little corner in my head, what if they treat us horribly? What if this is like a prison and they beat me?

"Here is the changing room, hurry up." He barks to me tossing me into the changing room, I whimper lightly, only enough for me to here. I close the door behind me and play with my left ring finger, its not there, my physical rememberance he loves me is gone. I quickly change out of my clothes and into my  dul scrubs and slippers, they are probably only fity cents so they are not what you call comfortable, but Ive never had slippers before. "You done?" The officer knocks on the door startling me, I dont answer and turn to the mirror and stare at myself, having a good look at myself, I cant even recognize myself. Dark bags around my eyes, my hair greesy and messy, Im so thin, my arms are covered in bandages, thick sleeve ones. I cant see hope in my eyes, there is nothing in my eyes, just a bottomless pit that lets you see my dark soul, or what is left of it.

I turn away from the mirror, taking my clothing in a watted bunch and touch the cold door handle, I open it not looking up to the officer and he takes my arm and with the other hand, grabbing my clothes. "Im not taking you to your room first, your going to group." He says, his voice hard, the academy must have broken him, I would hate to see what his wife has to suffer through, he seems to have no emotion on his face. He leads me through the very white hallway through metal double doors, I feel like I am in an insaine asylum. Im not crazy, I am just tired of holding onto the life line with one hopeful finger, I am ready to let go. But Slade, he needs me now, its not just me now, its both of us, he said we were in this together, I trust him, slowly but I am, I belive what he is saying is true because I can see it. We walk into a colorful room, rainbows painted everywhere, girls everywhere and only two boys, one of them has a giant scar that trails up from his eye brow up through his scalp leaving a bald thin line. He looks so intimidating and I wish Slade was here with me to protect me and promise me that I am safe.

"Welcome to group!" A doctor says, he stands up with a giant smile and walks up to me with bare feet to greet me. I step back from him frightened, and the cop lets go of me. The doctor looks at me with understanding and he takes a step back bowing respecting my wishes but I stare at him like is is the crazy one here. "Im Doctor Reed, and you are?" He asks me with a low tone, I dont respond, my hands start to shake and I hold them against my sides stifly. "No need to be frightened, we all are here in the same situations." He holds out his wrists showing me his old scars, they are puffy from the new skin overlapping to protect the older skin. I peer over to look at them better to see he has many. "We are coloring our emotions and memories, would you like to join?" He asks me pushing up his glasses, his curly dirty blond hair are almost in perfect ringlets like a perm. I shake my head feeling like a freak, I have more scars than he does,  I am more broken than he is, Im shattered china doll.

"Hey cookie wanna come paint with me?" A girl asks me from her canvas, she is using brown on one hand and red on the other, her skin is a soft chocolate color and her hair is straight with red in it, she is very beautiful. I make a giant side step towards her like a giant bubble around the doctor eyeing him with every move, I dont trust him, he is so strange. I can feel all the eyes on me, everyone is watching me, their eyes burning into my soul trying to find my weaknesses. I finally reach her and she grabs my arm and I flinch away, why is she touching me, but she only holds up her painted hands showing me she wont hurt me. "Its okay, wanna paint?" I shake my head but watch her, she is the only one here that I feel safe with, everyone else is so intimidating to me.

"Hey cookie." The guy with the scar comes up to me, his voice is low and scratchy, I stare up at him steping back bumping into her, she scoffs annoyed. I stare into his dark eyes in horror, all these people are too close, they are too scary, I need Slade, I need him! He touches my hand and I flinch away falling to the ground on accident and I try scrambling away. My heart pumps with fear, my body shakes terribly, please just leave me alone. My breathing quickens and I see they all surround me, the doctor quickly crouches down and he scares me the most. I tuck myself into a tight ball and plug my ears and I start to scream, Its too small in here, there are too many people, I need Jacob! I need him!

Rough hands grab ahold of me and I thrash inside their grasp trying to get away, I seal my eyes shut and my breathing quickens, just leave me alone please! "Help!" I scream as loud as I can, my voice scratchy and hoarse, tears stream down my face, they are too close to me, I cant run, I cant defend myself! 

"Trella!" Someone screams for me, how do they know my name! Oh my gosh I am going to die in here! A sharp prick inserts my neck and my eyes shoot open and I thrash harder. 

"No! Please just let me go!" I scream, my body becoming weaker but I cant let it win, I cant let the seditive win, this is my body, these are my emotions and I will do what I will with them! The doctor and other sequirity gaurds are holding me down tightly, pinning me so I am imobile, unable to defend myself when I feel threatened, which I do now.

Tears pour down my face but I cant move now, Im stiff what it feels like. "Dont...Please." I cry weakly, my voice hoarse and scratchy from screaming and all the crying I have been doing. "You lied...Im not safe here."

"You are too safe, and we need to keep it that way. Take her to the safety room." If I could I would put up a harder fight, I dont want to go anywhere with them, they lift me up onto a gournie and strap me in and stroll me away to whatever secret torture room that is. I just want to fee safe, I want my ring, I need my ring. 

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