50 shades of 2nd chances (Complete)

Chapter 1

Recap:

"Ok so talk Christian" I murmur softly.

" Last time I saw you, you had some very confronting things to say to me Anastasia!" he says, I nod hesitantly.

He continues " You really pissed me off!" I scoff unintentionally loud but try to cover it with a cough.

He frowns but let's it slide for now.

" But......you had some very valid points. I'm trying to change that. I have a proposal for you" he says picking invisible lint off the table cloth.

I glance up quickly " proposal?" I stammer nervously, he isn't going to do what I think he is....is he?

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Christian pauses as the waitress returns with our order and scurries away without a word.

"I want to try again Ana, if you will allow me the chance. You were right, I do need to consider other people & their feelings. I need to stop pushing the ones I love away. I've spent the last few months making changes to make myself better. For you. I need you in my life Ana." He swallows loudly before he continues with a sigh. "I've completely gutted the playroom & destroyed all of the contents that those walls withheld, I've started learning from Gail how to cook & provide for myself every now and then, Taylor and his team have set hours & although I have struggled at times, they have been better for it. I'm working on my relationship with my family. Mia works part time at Grey house & I've started a partnership of sorts with Grey constructions and Elliot. Please give me a chance to show you that I can be the man you need me to be Ana. I...I Lo" he is suddenly cut off by his phone ringing in his pocket.

He frowns & checks the caller ID, he scowls angrily before he presses the ignore button and places his phone back in his pocket.

Before he can continue I speak up, needing some answers first.

"What about Elena, Christian?" I ask with a little more venom that intended, that woman still irks me.

He looks down at the table briefly before looking back up at me with a guilty expression. " what about her Ana? She has nothing to do with this, with us" he says.
"Bullshit Christian! You & I both know that she wants you to herself & will do anything to make that happen. Who do you think told me about your little indiscretions with Leila? WHILE we were still together Christian! The whole BDSM thing was just a small part of why I left you. How can I forgive you for that? How can I believe that you will be faithful to me? That lifestyle has been a part of your life much longer than I have, I'm not convinced that you could just give it up so easily just for a bit of tail Christian. You will need to prove your words true by your actions before I even consider giving you another chance." He opens his mouth to respond but seems to think better of it and closes his mouth. I take the opportunity to continue before he argues back.

"As long as Elena is in your life Christian, I can't be. I won't be. I will not make you choose but if you really want me back, I suggest you think long & hard about what's really important to you. That woman is just purely hateful & I don't want that kind of negativity in my life. I will not play second fiddle to an old hag who has you wrapped around her little finger & controls your every relationship. If BDSM is really in your past, shouldn't Elena be too? After all, you are only in the lifestyle because of her." I finish and sit back waiting for his response.

Christian sits silent for a moment as he takes in my words, his gaze on anything but me.

"So you're saying that if I get rid of Elena, you will consider giving us another chance? Because if you are, baby she's gone, without question. I will liquidate the Salons & cut her off completely. I would never choose her over you Ana. Please let me prove myself, we can start slow & see where things lead. Just like when we first started, you hold all the cards. Give us a chance Ana. Please." He says desperately.

I think for a moment.

It would be so easy to just let him back in but I need to be strong, I can't let him have the control here. I've become stronger since we last spoke & I will not let him manipulate me by using all the right words that I have craved to hear since I walked away from him. He will need to fight hard to get me back!

"Christian, I need time to think this through. Can you give me that?"

" what do you need to think about Ana? Either you want me, us, or you don't. It's not that hard. I want you Ana, only you. Tell me now that you don't want me & I'll do my best to honour that" he says, getting a little angry now at my stubbornness.

" Christian, I'm not the same person I was 6 months ago. You broke my heart & I cant just let myself get sucked back in & risk you hurting me again. You want me, prove it. Actions speak louder than words remember. It's not a case of not wanting you, I need to know you won't make me regret it in the end is all. Can you understand that? Give me time Christian"

His eyes darken as he swallows back the tears I see threatening to fall. He nods slowly before he says " I will try Ana. For you, I will. I will spend the rest of my life proving my love for you if I have to" His eyes widen as he realizes what he just let slip.

I gasp in utter shock at his admission. " W..what did you just say?" I ask choking back my own emotions.

He hesitates for a second. " I love you Ana. I have since I laid eyes on you & it took a lot of time with the expensive charlatan to make me see it" he says with a small grin.
"Do you still love me Ana?"

I hesitate before I nod slightly, not daring to make eye contact with him. One look in his eyes right now will make me crumble & make everything I just said redundant.

He grabs my hand softly and rubs his thumb in calming circles but doesn't say a word.

I feel the urge to grab him and kiss his perfect lips & I know I need to get out of here before I give in.

I gently pull my hand away & stand "I should go, Kate & I are meeting for drinks soon, I need to shower and get ready. I will call you soon" I say before quickly turning on my heel and almost running out of the café & down the street.

Once I'm sure he hasn't followed me, I slow down & let my feet lead me home mindlessly, my thoughts running over the events of the last hour.

I've  craved him for months & now, after nearly 2 years, he's confessed his love for me, I'm  hesitating.

Do I let him in or am I better off without him?

I don't know what to do.

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