Are we more than friends

Chapter 21

It takes a couple of minutes until a boy the same age as Alex awnsers the door. He has dark brown hair, and green eyes. The same height as Alex but slightly more tanned. "You alright?" He asks. "Yeah does Alex live here?" I ask. "Wait Alex knows a beautiful girl like you?" He asks. "Apparently so." I reply looking down at the floor feeling slightly self conscious. "Hey Alex, some girls at the door." He calls. I hear footsteps running down the stairs and then appeared Alex. He pushed his way past the boy at the door and pulled me into a hug. I hug him back and then we pull away. "That idiot was Dylan." He says inviting me in. "Oh cool." I say. "Want a drink?" He asks. "May I have a tea?" I ask him. "Of course." He smiles as he leads me to the kitchen. I sit down on the bar stool and watch him. "So how long have you been in America? Because you still have the British accent." He asks me.

"Around 3-4 months." I smile. "I did have plans to go university in Ireland but my current job took me in an opposite direction." I explain. "Oh really, how comes and what were you going to study?" He asks me. " I was going to be a lawyer but I needed a job in the mean time before going to Uni and while in university so I chose you tube. Fortunately it took me places, and I moved here with my friend. " I smile. "What happened?" He asked. " we met the janoskians, I fell in love with Beau she fell for both twins and ended up with Luke. Beau and I had our ups and downs and now we've split. Kelsey lives with Luke and she's up the duff, there's no point me being here." I sigh. "There's every reason. You could stay, be friends with us and hopefully patch things up with Beau." He smiles. "Thanks." I smile as I take a sip of the tea he handed me. "What are you studying?" I ask him. "I'm actually studying law myself." He says. "It's hard work I tell you, there's so much to remember it's so hard." He explains.

Around and hour and a half later I leave the boys, knowing I have friends and that I'm not alone. I drive home listening to Miley Cyrus Party in the USA. I sing along with my windows rolled down, tapping along on my steering wheel. "So I put my hands up their playing my song you know I gunna be okay." I sing waiting for this stupid light to turn green. I look to my right and see a couple of boys smiling. "What?" I call out to them. " your singing." They laugh. I just laugh and roll my eyes, noticing the lights green and press down the pedal and drive home.

I pull up into my drive and walk into the house, i walk over to Oli's cage and let him climb into his ball, i seal it and then place him on the floor and watch him dash away into another room. I laugh as i start to take out his bed, and toys, and food bowl. I scrape all the sawdust into a bin bag and replace it with some more. I then replace his bedding and place it back in, then adding the food and the water dispenser. I take a look at my phone and its taken me a whole hour. I walk into the kitchen and make myself spaghetti bolonasge and garlic bread. Now that theres only one of me i put the leftover meat into a small container and wait for it to cool. I place my plate onto the counter and pour myself a glass of Dr Pepper, which by far is the best drink ever created. I then sit down taking a sip of my drink, and start tucking into my meal. I really miss my dinner conversations with the boys, i miss Beau. Although i have these new friends i met today, i do just want the five boys i first met out here.

I pull my phone back out my pocket, and text Jai. ' Haii Jai, hows the tour going? Hope your all having fun'. I put my phone back on the counter and finish my dinner. I then place my glass and dishes into the dishwasher and then put the left over container in the fridge. I walk into the living room and grab Oli, i place him back into his cage. I then run up to my room and log onto my computer, i log onto tumblr and start to awnser a few peoples question, when a couple of anon messages appear. I read one thats says,

'Your so stupid, messing with Beau's head, you need to get your head tested because you clearly arn't normal. Your too ugly to go out with Beau anywyay, he probably dated you out of pity you ugly bitch'

There were a few more colourful messages just like that and i decided to reply to them all. I started on the fisrt one, 'I know i messed things up between Beau and I, but i do want to sort them, i thought this break would help, but it's killing me. I know im ugly, i've had to put up with it for years, im sorry for being a screw up and i hate myself for it.' I decided to awnser all of them and then i noticed i was crying, floods of tears left my eyes as i sat at my desk replying to these hate comments. They were all right every single one. I decided to look on twitter and not to my suprise i was mentioned alot, hate comments on my feed, i deserved it, every single one.

I soon left my room and into the bathroom, i took a quick shower and then changed into one of Beaus t-shirts and a pair of tracksuits. Lets just say i have a stash of his tops, from the washing load that i was doing when he packed up and left. Knowing him he would have probably replaced them all. I dryed my hair, and tied into a plait. I walk downstairs to hear my phone ringing. I walk over to my phone that lies on the kitchen surface and miss it by a minute. I see 7 miss calls from Jai and Daniel. All of a sudden my phone starts to ring again and its Daniel.

"Iris, are you okay? I've seen the tweets, and the hate on tumblr are you okay?" He panics. "Why wouldn't i be, it's not like any of its fake." I sniff. "It's all lies and you know it." He argues. "Yeah sure and thats why thousands are saying it." I cry, feeling yet another load of tears fall. "Iris are you kidding me none of those messages are true, your not ugly and your not stupid. Your perfect the way you are." I hear Jai say. "Am i on speaker?" I ask confused. "Err yeah but it's just us two." Daniel says. "Good because i don't want Beau to know im not coping, Im liturally in pieces." I cry. " Iris can't you get someone to stay with you?" Daniel asks. "Like who only really knew you guys, then thers Oli so i can't go away. I know Troye but he's gone back to Australia, and then theres Alex who i just met today. I liturally have no one. Guys, you know i have depression im liturally dying, i can't sleep. I have mood swings and it's just getting worse." I sob. "Haven't you told Beau?" Jai asks. "Havn't told me what? I hear Beaus voice in the background. "Nothing" Daniel says a little to quickly. "Who's on the phone?" He asks. "No one." Jai says. All of a sudden a notification pops up from Tumblr and Twitter and i sob some more. "Whats happened?" Jai asks. "More come through." I say. "Whats going on? Whats come through? Is that Iris?" I hear Beau ask. "Yes thats Iris, check twitter and tumblr, and then you'll know."Daniel says. "I better go." I sob as i hang up. I curl up into a ball and cry harder. I hate myself, what have i done? What was so wrong, that all these people hate me nearly as much as i hate myself.

My phones been blowing up for three hours and im still on the couch. I finally have enough and turn my phone off, i get up slowly and walk upstairs to the third room on the right. I walk in and open up a stool and lace it in the middle of the room. I turn on the fairy lights, and then light a few candles. I walk out and grab my camera, my tripod, my laptop and my mic. I walk back into the room and set up my equipment. I turn on both the camera and the mic and start talking.

"So you guys have made it clear that, im hated, and that i don't deserve to be here. But the thing i don't understand is why do you hate me. I mean of course i hate myself, but why do you guys. I know im that im ugly, it's me who has to look at myself daily, it's me who has to cover my face up when it looks it's worse. But the thing i've realised about all of these comments is that they come from Anons, so you can't even show yourself, who you are. Yet your expressing your hatred, if you want to send hate send it to me off Anon, because it won't mean anything. The fact your on Anon is shocking to the fact that you probably are hiding something yourself." i take a minute before starting up again. "Yes i have shed a few tears, and yes your words had got to me, but talking to my friends Jai and Daniel has really helped. They made me see this side of things, yes your comments may hurt buut most are on anon. Twitter is worse though these comments ae harsh, they're nasty, and digging up the past and adding in false accusations does get to me, but at the end of the day i am who i am, so like it or lump it." I then stop the video and import the video to my Laptop. I start to edit the video and then upload it to Youtube with the title. "Dear my Haters." I share it on Twitter and Tumblr and then log off. I blow out the candles and then turn off the fairy lights.

I walk downstairs with my laptop and make myself a hot chocolate, i add cream, chocolate shavings and a flake, with marshmellows. I walk into the living room and switch in the Tv. I turn over to old reruns of Friends, and start to drink my drink. Once i finish my drink i place the mug into the kitchen and walk upstairs to my bedroom. I plug my phone on charge, and then lay down.