FWB Friends With Baseball

What To Do.

Jailyn~

"Ah," I breathe out, holding my hand on my stomach tightly, trying to ride out whatever this pain is. This really doesn't feel like it's just a period cramp anymore. Holding my breath, I keep myself from yelling out in pain. What the hell is this? When the pain finally dissipates to a manageable amount, I catch my breath, pushing my hair back, trying to ignore the twang still prominently making itself known in my abdomen. Did I get a hernia somehow? That'd be my luck, wouldn't it? This isn't out of nowhere. I've been having some cramping for a few days now, but never on this level. 

Getting up, I rush to my bathroom, feeling the small gush between my legs. This can't be just my period. Something isn't okay. Seeing the amount of blood sends off seven hundred and two different flags in my mind as all the worst-case scenarios wreak havoc on any rational thought I have. Even with my worst cycles, it's never been this bad. Grabbing a pad from under my sink, I discard the underwear I'd had on before grabbing a new pair. I need to go to the ER. 

Almost as if my body had heard my thoughts, another intense cramp takes over, leaving me doubled over clutching my dresser, riding out this next wave. Holy fuck. Pinching my eyes together tightly, I forget how to breathe while this new wave of pain I've never felt before takes over. Not even my Achilles hurt this bad. What do I even do? How do I get this figured out? There's no way I can drive, with this going on, hell, I can't even move when they hit. Resting my head on my arm, I grit my teeth as my abdomen feels like it's clenching in on itself. 

Why does this happen now? Alone in my house with Christian 2,000 miles away. Groaning slightly, the second wave of this morning finally passes, allowing me to catch my breath. Tyler's my only option. Still breathless, I hurry to my phone and pull up his contact calling him immediately. 

After about four rings, I'm greeted with a very groggy, "Jai?" 

"Tyler?" I ask, my emotions on full display as my voice falters.

"Hey, is everything okay?" He asks, the hint of grog still in his tone but fleeting as concern takes over. 

Shaking my head, I feel my lip start to quiver, having no idea what the hell is happening right now, "I don't think so, I don't know. Can you take me to the ER?" 

"ER? Jai, what's going on?" 

My tears are flowing freely as all the what-ifs continue to consume me, "Can you just get here, please?" 

"Yeah, I'm on my way," He tells me, as I hear a little mumbling in the background, "Everything is going to be okay." As much as I wish I could believe him, something in my head won't let me. 

It's impossible to distinguish whether it's the pain of the fifth wave causing me to empty my stomach or if it's the anxiety that's overwhelmed me for the last half an hour. Either way, I'm curled over my toilet, unable to collect myself. The clenching of my stomach as I puke seeming to only make the pain I'd already been facing that much worse. 

"Holy shit, Jailyn, are you okay?" Tyler asks, letting himself into my bathroom and immediately placing his hand on my back to try and comfort me as I puke once more. The fact I don't even have it in me to give him any attitude right now says enough for him. 

It doesn't happen quickly, but when my nausea and the fifth wave dilutes itself back down to a four rather than a nine, I sit down from my crouch, my back resting against my bathtub. "Can you take me to the ER?" 

Tyler nods, his face spilling out all of his emotions right now, his concern the most prominent, "What's going on?" 

Taking a breath, I push my hair back before wiping my mouth with my arm. "For the last week or so, I've been having pretty bad cramps. Initially, I just assumed I was getting my period. Last night they were a little worse than they'd been, but nothing compared to what's been happening this morning," I explain, looking down at my bare legs, not knowing what else to do or say. My eyes start to well up again as I look to Tyler, "I don't know what to do, Ty." 

Taking a breath, Tyler forces a small smile before offering me his hand as he stands up, "Let's start with getting you dressed, then we'll get you checked out." Taking his hand, I nod as I let him pull me off the ground before leading the way to my dresser. 

Going through my medical history with the nurse, she finally asks the question, "Is there any chance you might be pregnant?" 

Shaking my head, "Not that I know of. Like I'd said, I've had an IUD for the last few years. My period is also never normal because of it and because of my season."

"Are you sexually active?"

"Yes."  

"Have you been using any other form of birth control?" She follows up.

When I shake my head, she nods, a hint of something flashing across her face. "I'm going to draw some blood so we can run a few tests that way, then I'll have Dr.Lang come in to talk with you, okay?" When I nod, she starts getting everything ready to start an IV. Does she think I'm pregnant? That's nearly impossible. It's not something I'd even thought to put on the table before now. With the IUD, there's less than a one percent chance that I'd even be able to get pregnant. It's not like I could've forgotten to take it or something. 

"Alright, Jailyn," She comments as she pulls out the last little vial and seals off the IV while still leaving it in. "I'll get these run and have Dr.Lang come back. Once we have an idea of what's going on, we'll get you something more for the pain." We exchange a small smile before she leaves the room, and I'm left alone again. 

Mentally, I'm preparing to find out that I'm pregnant. That makes the most sense after nothing showed up on the abdominal ultrasound. Staring up at the ceiling, all the separate scenarios play out in my mind. What the hell would Christian say if I was? Would he be okay if I didn't want to have a baby? It's never been something in my plan. That was before I'd even met Christian, before I'd had this career, before any of this. All of those factors considered it's not even in my best interest to want a baby right now. Christian is the only factor that plays to a glimmer of wanting one. Even with his crazy schedule, I know he'd be a great dad. That is if he'd even want to be right now. Both of us are at these impossible points in our careers where I don't really think it's in the cards, but I feel like if he wanted this, we could do it. What would happen if I brought it up and he hates me for it? After all, I'm the 21-year-old who had an IUD that said it'd be fine if we didn't use condoms. How does that make me look? Taking a breath, I hold my arm over my face as I take a breath facing the impossible of not knowing right now. 

There's a couple of knocks on my door as a woman lets herself in, a small cart being pulled along with her. "Hey Jailyn, I'm Dr.Lang, and I'll be taking care of you, okay?" All I can do is nod in response. I'm sure she knows what's going on already, especially given the cart she's brought in. "In order to give you a proper diagnosis, is it okay if we do a transvaginal ultrasound? It's going to give us a clearer picture of what's going on. Once we get that, I'll know what the best course of action for you." 

"Okay," I reply, as my mind continues to race. 

As uncomfortable as this is, it's easy to ignore as I wait to hear anything about what's going on and what she's looking for. When her brow furrows, and she stops moving the wand, I try and see anything on the monitor that's going to help me calm down. Taking a deep breath, Dr.Lang looks at me before printing off the image and finally removing the wand. 

"Alright, Jailyn, would you like your boyfriend back before I let you know what's going on?" 

Shaking my head, "He's not my boyfriend. What's going on?" 

Dr.Lang looks at me, giving me a small, almost sympathetic smile as she nods, "Given your IUD, you had less than a one percent chance of getting pregnant. However, you increase the chance of having an ectopic pregnancy. Of your less than one percent chance of getting pregnant, there was less than a fifty percent chance of that being an ectopic pregnancy. Ectopic meaning the embryo embedded itself outside of your uterus. In your case, it's embedded itself in your fallopian tube, which caused it to burst. That being said, we need to get you into surgery as soon as possible to repair what we can and remove the embryo."  

So I am pregnant, only I have no say in anything that happens with it. There are no conversations to be had, no decisions to be made, no struggling with what the best option is, nothing. It's just gone. Staring back up at the ceiling, I nod as my tears fall again as I think about everything. Christians going to hate me.