4920 hours Showing... (A Standalone Novel)

Thirty One

“HA?! She’s dating who?!” Dinig kong sabi ni Jane isang hapon. Nadatnan ko silang nag-uusap ni Anne sa corridor. Nandito din ang iba ko pang mga kaklase, abala sa kanilang mga ginagawang pagpapaganda. Tumabi ako kay Holi na abala din kakascroll sa phone nya. Probably collecting memes again.

Pinanuod ko lang silang nag-uusap, napansin ako ni Anne sabay sabing, “Siya. You’re dating Puerto, aren’t you?” I saw disgust and judgment on their eyes as they both looked at me. Dahil sa tanong nya, nakuha nito ang atensyon ng iba pa naming kaklase at tinukso-tukso nila ako. Binalikan nila yung incident na sinned ko sa GC naming yung conversation namin ni Sir.

Jane overly exhaled, “Naku! Huwag ka talagang papabola dyan sa mokong na yan Mel. Naku, kung alam mo lang. Di ba, Anne?” She said looking to Anne to second the motion, perhaps, and testify her claims. “Ay oo. Bolero yan. Ilang babae na ba ang napaiyak nyan, paka-babaero ng gago, akala mo naman kagwapohan.” Just then Bae look up to me and I saw warning on her eyes. Nakikinig sya.

“Totoo Mel! Naku, ganyan kasi talaga yan kapag may bagong nakikitang maganda. Actually, di ba dati muntik nang maging kayo nun or naging kayo talaga?” Aniya sabay baling kay Anne. Humagalpak nang tawa ang huli sabay umiling, “Landi-landian lang yun, never naging kami. Tsaka, that was before. After nung case namin, yun, sumunod si Demi.” Sabay baling ng dalawa sa akin. “Si Demi, yung isa pa naming kaibigan, naging sila tapos niloko lang ng gago. Tsaka, marami pa yang kagagohang pinanggagawa sa ibang mga babae from different departments.”

“Yes Mel, naku ka, wag ka talaga papatol sa gagong yun, you deserve better.” Si Jane na may kasama pang irap at sobrang seryoso ng mukha. “Ano, kayo na ba?” Lahat ng mga kaklase naming nakarinig sa kwento nila ay biglang nag-iba ang templa ng mga mukha. It’s as if their world turns at nandiri na din sila sa kanya. While, on my part, I remained my genuine smile even if their words and judgments pierced my heart. “Nope, we’re just friends and yes naman, I know his girls and flings, he told me.” I said in order to save him and to save myself not from humiliation because that’s somehow what I felt right now to which I can endure and ignore but to save myself from completely drowning.

Suddenly, I remember our conversion before ni Ish. She sent me their text conversation ni Ed where he asked for another chance and saying na mahal pa niya ito at miss na miss na nya. Ish said the same but she had enough for all the pain that he had caused her. Kaya ayaw na nya kahit mahal nya pa rin ito. Nasasaktan raw kasi sya sa ginawa ni Ed sa kanya, he had an affair with another women from the Tourism department. Even if he was sorry for it, still ayaw na talaga ni Ish sa kanya. I find that romantic but tragic before, noong mga panahong wala pa akong naramdamang kakaiba sa kanya after that Museum incident.

I heaved a silent sigh as we walked back to our classroom para kunin ang mga gamit namin at umuwi. Bae suddenly stops and faced me, “Bae, I was rooting for him na sana siya na ang makakapagpasaya sa’yo but with all those na nalalaman ko about him? I’m sorry but, would you still pursue what you two have been doing?” she asks which made me smile but my heart is slowly breaking into pieces for I don’t know what reason, “Playboy daw e.” then I smiled widely that made her gasps. “Wow! Wattpad lang? You sure about that?” I bet, she knows what I’m pertaining to so I winked and left her dumbfounded.

Soon as I turns my back on her, my smile slowly fades replaced with a frown. My mind says, hindi pwedeng matulad ako ng mga babaeng umiiyak dahil sa lalaki. I can’t be like them. At higit sa lahat, ayaw kong may kahati. Selfish man kung tawagin, yes, but in a different way. You have the freedom all you want pero siguraduhin mo lang na ako lang.

Clearly the reason why I chose to stay friends with Cian kasi ayokong may kaagaw. While I was slowly falling for him tapos sya, nakikipagkita sa babaeng matagal na nyang mahal sa mahabang panahon, I don’t want to compete. Even if he told me that he likes me countless of times and even attempted to make us official before. Before I pushed him to her.

I’d fight for you but I won’t compete. Kasi alam ko ang worth ko bilang tao. Magpaparaya ako kung kinakailangan. That’s why I chose to be friends with him until today. Takot kasi akong masaktan sa huli kaya puputulin ko kung anuman ang nararamdaman ko sa kanya. That is why I ended up choosing to be with him, with Ed. Aaminin kong, he somehow helped me, unti unti. Pangit pakinggan pero yun ang nangyari. He has something on him that caught my interest na nakalimutan kong nasasaktan pala ako. He has lonely soul which made me want to care for him, deeply.

Tapos malalaman ko itong mga balita tungkol sa kanya. No, I can’t be like his girls, I never wanted to be one of his toys kung sakali man. Ayoko, ayokong makaranas na masaktan ulit. I need to save myself. Then I remember the things he always told me, sanay na raw syang iju-judge ng mga tao, sabihin ang mga negatibong bagay para siraan sya. And I’m the type of person na hindi nangju-judge ng tao. I don’t have basis as well, tsaka, hindi ko talaga ugali yun. Was that his way of saying na winawarningan nya ako na one of these days, may mga tao akong makakasalubong at sabihin sa akin ang mga hindi kaaya-ayang bagay tungkol sa kanya para siraaan sya?

Yet, I never opened up anything to him regarding sa mga nalalaman ko, kasi pakiramdam ko, hindi naman na kailangan, past na kasi yun. And I’m not the type na hinahalungkat pa ang nakaraan. Actually, konti lang talaga ang totoong alam ko na sa kanya mismo nanggaling. Ang sabi lang nya sa akin dati, marami daw talagang mga taong may masasabing masama tungkol sa kanya. I never thought na isa pala sa mga tao na yun ang mga kaibigan ko.

“Basta Mel, this is just a piece of advice from us na nakakilala sa kanya, don’t get fooled.” Sabi ni Jane pagkatapos ng pahisterya nilang pahayag. “Ganyan talaga mga tactics nya, paawa effect, kesyo sinasaktan raw sya, iniiwan, lonely, mga ganun. Pa-victim kumbaga.” Aniya na may konting gigil sabay tawa. “Grabe naman kayo kay sir, baka naman nagbago na yung tao.” Ani ate Hailey na sinang-ayunan din ni Mira sabay tingin sa akin.

“Kung saan ka masaya Mel, susupurtahan ka namin.” Nakangiting pahayag ni Anne na sinang-ayunan din ng iba pa pati si Bae na katabi ko lang din. Inalo pa nya ako na animo’y nasasaktan. “Basta ang masasabi ko lang, good luck sa’yo. Sana nga at magbago na sya lalo na at ikaw yan, si Melody Mel Caro, aba ang swerte na nya sa’yo.”

I won’t get fooled, I won’t let that happen. Never.