вlood & peтalѕ [ ĸoтlc - тιana ]

ch. vi

This story..... idk how I was able to even come up with something so painful.

The crumpled bud in his hand was damp. And not with saliva; with blood.

The culprit appeared to be the tiny but sharp nubbin peeking out of the stem.

A thorn.

Linh was pacing back and forth before him, rambling about how much he was scaring her, but all Tam could focus on was the blossom in his palm.

So tiny.

So perfect.

So defiantly beautiful. As if it knew it wasn't meant to be there, but didn't give a shit.

Was it wrong that the flower reminded him of Biana?

"-and you're coughing up blood now, Tammy. This is literally-" she gulped, blinking back the dampness in her eyes "-tearing your lungs apart from inside. So why won't you get the operation Mr Forkle told us about? Biana's taken, and there's no point mooning after her if it does-" she pointed at the bud accusatorily "-this to you."

"Linh-"

"Don't 'Linh' me, Tam. I'm not done talking yet. Sure, you lose all your feelings for he if you do the surgery, but isn't that better for you? I mean, she's with Keefe now. Would you rather live on with great pain and potential death, or would you heal both yourself and your heart?" She ended her speech by wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. It came away damp, and streaked with black eyeliner.

Tam saw this and sighed. "Linh..."

"No."

"You don't even know what I'm gonna-"

"No, Tam." She sniffled. "Sorry. I guess I need some alone time...?"

Tam watched her go, silently hoping she would be better soon.

Slowly, his focus turned back to the bud. And to Biana.

His chest tightened with every echo of her name in his mind, with every time his memory flashed back to when Keefe confessed to her.

Was he jealous? No. He was genuinely happy for them, but his chest still throbbed with both physical and emotional pain each time he remembered how happy she had seemed in Keefe's arms.

And slowly, Tam began to retch again, coughing up both blood and flowers. Dragging himself back to the bathroom, he sank in front of the toilet again, and hacked out yet more petals. And blood.

There was a lot more blood this time, he noticed, as he shakily wiped his mouth with a towel, and flushed the red mess away. A lot.

In a daze, Tam stumbled back into the narrow bed, and fell asleep, drifting in and out of uneasy dreams resonating with roses, splotches of red, and a pair of the most beautiful teal eyes he had ever seen.

Dear Biana,

I'm probably dying. And I have no clue how to feel about it.

All I know is that it hurts. Coughing up flowers is harder than it sounds, and the thorns don't really make it a pleasant experience.

I honestly have no clue why I'm not going with the surgery, like Linh wants me to. I mean, you're with Keefe now. You're clearly happy with him, and I'm glad. You deserve someone like him, who's enough for you.

It would probably be best for me to move on, but... somehow I don't want to.

Am I being selfish?

Music, y'all.

-miyu