Same Mistakes (One Direction)

Best Friends Forever and a broken girl

Have you ever gotten in trouble for something really bad? Like so bad you knew your parents were never going to forget this and you would forever be punished? Like maybe you had to be picked up from jail, or you were caught doing illegal drugs. Do you remember how you felt that exact moment you were busted? That's exactly how I felt when I heard the news from the doctor. I was frozen in place; the phone had fallen out of my hand on to the floor. My throat closed up and my breathing was so unsteady I thought I might pass out. This wasn't real, this was a dream. This had to be a dream or some sick joke. All I could focus on was the frantic sound of "Hello" from the phone that was lying on the floor. Without thinking I picked it up, placing it to me ear.

"I'll be in tomorrow thank you"

I quickly hung up, dropping the phone again on the floor. I squeezed my eyes shut; trying to stop the tears but of course they streamed down my face. I collapsed on my bed, my eyes still shut and curled up into a ball, hugging my legs to my chest and hiding my face. I stayed like that before I could calm down and regain myself. I slowly sat upward. The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes was the small tattoo across my wrist which said "Worthless" my bottom lip curled into a frown as I angrily looked at the tattoo, the tears kept pouring down my face staining my duvet. So many emotions were running through my mind, shock anger, sadness, and stress. I knew what would have to happen; I've gone through this before. I shot up from my bed, ignoring the dizziness and walking over to my bathroom. I pulled open the draw of my makeup vanity, the contents inside were now messy and unorganized. I grabbed some concealer and swiped my finger across, angrily smearing the concealer over my tattoo masking it. When my tattoo was not visible anymore, I looked myself over in the mirror. God I was ugly. My eyes were too small and my thighs were too big. My finger nails were short from all the biting and I had dark circles under my eyes. I just stared at myself in the mirror, the tears never stopping. At that moment, I hated myself. I hated myself for being so weak and useless, for being so fucking ugly and stupid. I hated everything about me. I never deserved someone like Harry. He could never love someone like me who was so messed up and dumb. I let out a frustrated scream, clenching my fists together. When I was finally done screaming, I thought of something. It was so tempting but wrong. I eyed the razor sitting in my shower carefully. Should I do it? Would it make things better? Before I could even react my phone started buzzing. I gave the razor one last stare before going over to my phone to see who it was. When I read the name Kelly, my heart stopped. Forgetting I was even mad at her I picked up the phone.

"Kelly" I sobbed.

"Why are you crying?" She asked, I could picture her cocking her eyebrow with an annoyed look on her face.

"Can you please come over?" I begged

"I'm still mad at you ya know" she said

"It's important" I said

She let out a frustrated sigh, "I'll be over in 15 minutes"

"Thank you!" I said then hung up. I shut my eyes again, falling onto my bed.

Why was my life so messed up?

15 minutes later, I heard the doorbell ring. I slowly made my way downstairs, opening the front door. When Kelly saw my state of being her face changed from annoyance to concern.

"Belle what's wrong?" She asked, throwing her arms around me..

"I got a phone call" I sobbed into her shoulder

"I can't understand you honey" she whispered calmingly, smoothing my hair down.

I wiggled out of her grasp, wiping my nose on the sleeve of my shirt.

"I got a phone call today" I repeated, my voice sounding congested.

"Okay" She said, holding my arm "What does that have to do with anything?" She asked.