do you really love me? (suicidal deku x bakugo)

daichi - nature

(bad lighting, MY DRAWING! PLEASE DONT STEAL! yes i used a reference, don't @ me)

deku POV

i wake up with pain shooting to my wrist, aka where the cuts were dragged. i don't want to get out of bed, no, i want to stay in bed until the end of time. it's not worth coming out of it.

'i'm only coming out of bed for my deserved pains...'

i drag my feel lazily over my bedside as i sit up. heat flash rushes over me. i grab my head, hoping to help sooth the pain, knowing it'll do nothing.

i get out of bed and go towards my bathroom. i take a quick shower and quickly step out, i need to waste less money anyway. it just feels so good, i feel loved and alive in the water.

i get on my clothes and go to my dresser. i grab my phone, wallet, earbuds, tabs, keys and my ukulele. it's currently 10:00 and i've decided to go to the park and play ukulele.

'mom won't be back by the time i'm home so no note is okay.'

i walk out and listen to music. i don't exist by olivia o'brien, i like this song.

like i don't exist, no~

i walk up to the park by the time the song ends, it's a close park, i just realized that this is the park me and kacchan used to come to...

i walk to the nearest bench and take a seat. i grab out my tabs and ukulele and set up everything. i start playing hotel california by the eagles.

(i'm sorry i'm to lazy this song is to long)

when i finish the song, an elder lady comes up to me with a one dollar bill saying, "young man, that was amazing, please take this."
"oh, ma'am, i could never. i wasn't playing for money," she shakes her head, handing me the money. she places it in my lap, "sir, your nicer than most and you have manners, your also full of talent so please take it," she ends it with a smile. i smile, a genuine smile back to her. 'that's so sweet, she didn't have to,' "mind if i listen to another?"
"of course, any recommendations?"
"my granddaughter likes bellyache i believe..."
"ah, bellyache by billie ellish, she's a good artist. your granddaughter has great taste," she smiles to me as i smile back.

i know bellyache by heart so i just start strumming and playing.

(once again i'm sorry, i'm to lazy)

she claps as others join in, i'm embarrassed. they open up my ukulele case and drop a few dollars in it, "please, sir and madams, this isn't necessary. i'm just playing for free entertainment."
"nonsense," one says.
"we insist," another says.

a young girl with lime colored hair, maybe five or six comes up to me and says, "i love your singing and playing mister! your really good!"
"thank you! do you have a song recommendation?"
"is it okay?"
"of course," i say as i smile.
"house of gold by twenty one pilots?"
"yup, i have the tabs. want a front row show?" i ask with a giggle at the end. she nods her head vigorously at my question, i set her in front of my ukulele case as i move it to the side, she sits in front of me where my case was previously placed. she looks up at me with curiosity, wonder, excitement and more in her little brown eyes.

she asked me, "son when i grow old,
will you buy me a house of gold?
and when your father turns to stone,
will you, take care, of me?"

she asked me, "son when i grow old,
will you buy me a house of gold?
and when your father turns to stone,
will you, take care, of me?"

i will make you
queen of everything you see
i'll put you on the map
i'll cure you of disease

let's say we up and left this town
and turned our future upside down
we'll make pretend that you and me
lived ever after happily

she asked me, "son when i grow old,
will you buy me a house of gold?
and when your father turns to stone,
will you, take care, of me?"

i will make you
queen of everything you see
i'll put you on the map
i'll cure you of disease

oh, and since we know that dreams are dead
and life turns plans upon their head
i will plan to be a bum
so i just might become someone!

she asked me, "son when i grow old,
will you buy me a house of gold?
and when your father turns to stone,
will you take care of me?"

i will make you
queen of everything you see
i'll put you on the map
i'll cure you of disease

everyone that has surrounded me, claps, some even whistle. "you should try out for UA!"
"yeah! you'd totally get in!"
"whoooo!"

they keep complimenting me and i ask them, "am i really that good?"

they all nod more and throw more encouraging words my way. then, the little girl in front of me pokes my leg to get my attention. "yeah?" i ask her.
"mister, your really good! you should become a musician, or a singer! can i have your autograph? i know you'll become famous, i just know it!" she says so excitedly as she smiles so bright.

i cover my mouth hearing these words from her. a five year old, wants my autograph... because she likes my music that much...?

a tear runs down my face. she takes her hand and wipes it for me. i hug her, she's surprised but she hugs back.

i get out of my old tab sheets to a song i've memorized, aka house of gold, and i grabbed the pen that she handed me. i ask her what her name is and i write it;

midoriya izuku
house of gold by twenty one pilots
xx/xx/xx
daichi

i hand it back to her and she smiles and she holds it to her chest turning side to side, she jumps on me and hugs me. i hug back as i smile.

i see people have their camera and some look like their posting the interaction on social media.

i wish i could always be this happy, but i know that this is just for a short time period, i should enjoy it while i can... who knows when i'll be happy again?
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not much in this chapter has happened irl. i have woken up with wrist pains. i have thought that before getting up. and i have been trying to limit my showers to 8 ish minutes instead of 10 so yeah.

i hope you like this chapter :) hans christian anderson's writing style has helped me develop my own definitive style.