MIK

Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Rage numbed me to the fact of what I had done but it would last forever. Eventually, things would catch up to you, no matter how far you run.

I didn't get far. Sylvia was standing in front of me, her powerful magic bringing forth my mind from the red clouds of my rage. I was face to face with her but also face to face with what I had done.

In some ways, I was thankful for the Beast. I could have never handled doing what I did on my own. I wouldn't have done it either. But all that anger seemed to be spent. The horror of what I had become swallowed me. I had murdered, I had slaughtered. None of them stood a chance against the monster that had suddenly turned on them. None of them had seen in coming either. They didn't know what had built up inside me, and the grip that had loosened so much after my mother had discovered. Still, now I was only holding on my a single finger.

Ilona had scared me so much, she seemed so powerful and riddled with the experience I couldn't possibly match. Though killing her almost seemed too easy and I expected her to just walk passed making a sarcastic comment. But I had ripped her jaw out and torn her body to shreds, she wasn't going to stand up.

"What have you done?" The soulless gray eyes for once were filled with emotions and tears.

I shifted back falling to my knees in exhaustion and shame. I couldn't meet her eyes, I had inflicted so much grief with a single act, sure they had inflicted grief upon me in an accidental act but what I did was murder. Beast driven murder.

"What have you done!" Sylvia screamed at me this time.

I shook my head and tried to form the words but my voice was gone, blood dripped from my mouth. Their blood. It coated my insides, covering me in the shame of my act. Making impossible to speak, as if their essence didn't want me to bring into words what had happened as if the words would make it a reality. Maybe if I didn't say what had happened it wouldn't have happened. If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? This wasn't a tree though. It was lives. Lives of people I had considered friends, who had helped me to find my mother. And lives I had cut short. They would be dead by my teeth and their blood covered my body inside and out. No lack of words was going to change that.

Then Juno walked over, she saw the bodies and tears began to well up in her eyes. She buried her face in her hands. Her form crumpled to her knees and she wept.

If she had been with them would I have killed her?

That question haunted me.

I would like to believe that I wouldn't, her pink hair would bring me back to reality as it always brought me excitement and butterflies in my stomach but the other side of me knew that a few butterflies would not stop the beast. It was unpredictable, there was no using it to your advantage, even now I barely had a grasp on it. My little finger being the only thing under its collar. So close to slipping and it having complete control. What was I to do? Be more sound of mind? How could I do that after losing my mother and slaughtering people who cared for me?

Either way, I needed to get away from Juno and Sylvia. To protect them from myself. I brought myself to my feet and staggered away, They were huddled together weeping. I wouldn't make excuses, there was nothing. I only told them as I walked past, "I'm so sorry."

They didn't react and I continued my walk out of the hospital. I didn't really look where I was going, there were too many tears in my eyes to truly see, though somehow I managed not to trip over any of the many bodies of vampires that lined the floors. Some were groaning in pain healing mortal wounds others were completely dead. It was difficult to take down a vampire, a stab to the heart just wouldn't do it. Most of them would heal too fast. It required a lot of removal, that's what werewolves were good at. Tearing and ripping off limbs. And that's what I had done to Juno's friends. Shame was heavy on my heart. Though despite it all there was still a primal force inside me that told me to survive, to live. I could only assume it was the beast. It would never feel shame but it would always have the will to survive no matter what. Maybe it was what pushed me to walk out of that hospital, keep putting one foot over the other.