MIK

Chapter 15

Chapter 15

My mother pointed at me, looked at me, like I was a monster. Like I was the beast and nothing more. The absolute fear in her wet eyes as they bore into mine shook me to my very core. I was unable to move but she scrambled desperately away from me pressing herself against the wall.

"Demon," she screeched at me as she darted from the room.

I was frozen to the spot. The woman who raised me, who loved me and cared for me no matter what.... She is repulsed by what she saw. I was protecting her.... Doesn't she know that I would never harm her? I got up, needing to explain myself to her. But my heart was already broken.

I needed to tell her I wasn't a beast. The beast. I was more than what was inside my head.

It didn't take long to find that she was hiding behind her bed. She was cowering, I could see her figure trembling and jerking back and forth looking for me. Her eyes were the rabbit's, the one hiding in its borrow while the fox's claws tore at the dirt. I stood in the doorway not wanting to startle her, I whispered, "It's me, your son Torsten."

"You are no son of mine demon!" She screamed in almost rage, "I saw what you did! Get out of my house and don't come near me!"

I felt like a spear had taken out my heart. Whatever happened to unconditional motherly love? This wasn't something I could control I hope she knew that. Of course she knew that. Yet she hid from me as if I would attack her. I never before felt so dangerous, so much like an animal. Like something that needed to be caged. I stepped back, and stepped back again until my back hit a wall and I slid down it to be closer to my knees. And I wept.

Just yesterday my mum was all over me. Hugging me like her son. Laughing and smiling with me. Now I'm a demon..... And she can't look at me.

What had I done?

In a simple act of protection, I had deleted my whole life. My childhood. The one person who always cared for me.... Gone, just like this.

To make matters worse my father came trudging up to me.

"Stop crying you faggot," He growled at me and walked into my mother's room. The insult bounced off me, anger couldn't flare up in the stormy ocean of sadness. It drowned everything. Even my own voice.

I couldn't stop hi, but he would just make everything worse. He's never made things better so why would he start now? Mother was traumatised and he had no empathy.

"What are you crying about?" He glared down at her.

"There is a demon in our house!" She screamed.

My father raised an eyebrow at her. Clearly not believing her, she was insane to him. My mother stood on her knees so that she could see me and accusing me of all the crimes of the world just with one look, but to explain herself she pointed at me, "There, he is a huge yellow monster!"

My father slapped her, "You crazy woman that is your son!"

Flames of anger flared up inside me but they were crushed and drowned. I couldn't move, I couldn't speak, I could barely breathe.

"No he is a demon, I saw him!"

My father gestured at me to go to my room. His command willed me to my feet and I stumbled down the hall though my lungs were failing me and my knees were weak. For once I did what he said without complaint. There was nothing I could do anyway. Getting any closer to mother would just scare her. Trying to stop whatever my father's plan for her was would probably be a disaster. Even remaining in her vision would not help. I collapsed on my bed and cried into my pillow. What was I going to do without her? I knew from this point on I was alone. Without support from anyone.