Forever and ever (sequel to the redneck has feelings?)

Another sister

Kayla's pov

Dead. That was best way to describe how I was feeling. I was cold, numb, pale. Just plain dead. I hadn't moved from sitting on my bed since we returned. I didn't sleep last night either. My mind just kept replaying the faces of Herschel and Maggie once the news was broken about Beth. It was like my mind was punishing me except I couldn't cry anymore. I didn't deserve to cry. I couldn't talk to anyone. Daryl tried, but that didn't work. I just felt so emotionless. It was my fault. It felt like Justin all over again. A young life dying in the place of mine. I just wanted to scream, but I just remained starring at the wall in front of me.

"hey" I heard a southern accent behind me knowing it belonged to Maggie.

i didn't move though, didn't even turn my head to look at her. I couldn't.

maggies pov

she didn't turn to meet my eyes. She just kept starring at the wall infront of her like she was lost. I sighed and made my way over to her. Once I finally saw her face, it took me back a bit. She was pale as a ghost, her eyes red. It was like she wasn't even here. I thought my sisters death took its toil on me, but I didn't look like this did I?

"it's not your fault" I whispered.

she said nothing.

i sighed and sat down next to her,"Kay, it ain't your fault. No one blames you for what happened" I placed a hand on her arm, but quickly retracted it when it felt like ice.

"daryl send ya up here?" She growled.

"he's worried bout ya, we all are" I said softly.

"don't need to be. Just go be with your dad" she whispered.

"Glenn's with him. Right now I need to be with you" I said.

"Maggie please go" she started to shake.

"no" I said and placed my hand on hers.

"Maggie....please" her voice started to tremble.

"ya need to let it out. Don't fight it. Ya need to cry too"I whispered soothingly.

she surprised me when she shot up from her position and looked to me yelling,"no I don't! I don't deserve to cry! It was my fault in the damn first place!"

i stood up in front of her,"no it's not"

"yes it is! I knew she lied when she said Herschel knew she was coming and I didn't say anything! I thought she needed to learn and if anything happened I could protect her, but I didn't!" She yelled.

"Daryl told me what ya did, trying to run into that herd to get them outta here like ya did for all of us back at the prison. Ya don't call that protectin?" I said.

"no cause daryl wouldn't let me! If he would've just let me go, it would be me dead not her!" She cried.

"exactly and what good would that have been for anyone!" I yelled as my own tears started to fall.

she stopped for a moment breathing heavily just starring at me. I wiped my own tears,

"if you would've died you'd be leavin Carl and Rick without another family member, the twins without a mother, and daryl without his wife. You've done so much for this group. Sacrificed so much. Do not for one second think your not important to us! Death happens, we can't control it and we can't control who it takes, young or old! What we can control is how we take it!"

She sat back down on the bed and tears slipped down her face. I calmed my breathing down and sat next to her,

"I just lost Beth, please I can't lose another sister"

her tear filled eyes shot up at me and I smiled lightly. She then looked back down to her knees,

"every time I close my eyes I see everyone's faces after losing Beth. Yours and your dads especially" she whispered.

"you aren't blamed, just please don't shut us out. We need you now more than ever" I whispered.

it took her a minute, but she finally nodded and I grabbed onto her pulling her into a hug which she immediately returned as we both finally did what we both needed to do. Cry.