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Conan's face shifts into one of ease and content. I grasp his hands, mixing cold with warm. Taking in a shaky breath, I smile.

"I love you too. A lot, actually."

He smiles brightly, looking down at our hands before looking up, "I'm glad."

I lean forward, slipping my hands out of his. Gently placing them on the back of his neck, I gaze into his eyes, "may I?"

Conan nods, his eyes flickering down to my lips. I grin before leaning forward. Stopping an inch from his face, I breathe in and connect our lips.

This time felt different from the past time where he was ventilating my lungs. It obviously was out of love this time, but it still made my knees go weak, although, we were on my bed.

His lips were still as soft as before. The warmth from them made a blush bloom onto my face. I smiled into the kiss, pulling away after a few.

Resting my forehead on his, I felt the hair on the back of his head brush against my hand. A chuckle slipped past my lips and I looked up at him with tired eyes.

"God, you are so beautiful," he whispers in a gentle voice, pecking my lips once again.

A flustered yell comes from my mouth and I fall back onto the bed, rolling over and burying my face into a pillow.

"Don't do that," I whine, not enjoying the compliment. I hear him chuckle before feeling arms wrapping around my waist and pulling me to the side. The familiar position reminds me of the first time he slept in my bed.

A big thing that I was afraid of was that things Conan did would remind me of Danny, but nothing has recently and it makes things a lot more enjoyable.

"Hey, I have something to do today. Do you mind watching the cats?" I question, turning around fully to look him in the eyes.

"Yes, I can. You don't want me to come?"

"No, it's just something I have to do. I'll text you when I'm on my way home. I'm going to go take a shower and then I'll get going."

"You should eat," he replies, running his hand through my hair.

"I'll be fine. I'll eat when I get back. I just want to get it over with." He nods, understandingly, though I'm not sure he knows what I mean.

I sit up, moving around him to get off of the bed. Taking my clothes to the bathroom with me, I quickly jump in, wanting to get these anxious emotions taken away.

-

I turn the steering wheel to the right, pulling slowly onto a gravel road that led to a graveyard. The area was surrounded by pine trees that had light traces of snow on them. I shivered, turning the radio off and parking.

This was it. The third visit. Just to talk to him. Let him know I'm moving on but I'll never forget him. Let him know I'm okay. I had questioned if I was okay so many times, I don't really know what the words mean anymore.

Stepping out of the car, I could feel a small pressure build in my chest. The feeling grew as I followed the familiar trail to his grave. I let my tears fall, knowing it was okay to cry. Letting go hurts. I almost wanted to go back home and lock myself in my room for days on end, but I forced myself to continue. No more hiding. No more trying to escape reality. This was my reality, and I need to accept it. It's been three years. Let's move onto a new chapter.

•How was this?•

Growl || Reed900 ✔️ Where stories live. Discover now