One Shots ~ Newtmas

I'm Sorry

I wanted to write you a letter, explaining why, but I decided against it. Then I decided, why not give it a try, so here I am.

Just to be clear, this letter will never reach you, unless I am dead, missing or a drunk bastard, but know that I mean every word written.

I care about you, I love you even. I have a big ass crush on you and it won't go away. The only problem is I'm suicidal; you'd never ever like someone like me.

When I see you in the corridor it hurts to know you're not mine, it hurts to believe that you could possibly be with someone else. I know you like that bitch, but please, you can do better than someone who betrayed me and you once.

Do you remember that? We were young and the best of friends, now we barely talk, do you know why? Because she went behind your back and threatened me, then she lied to the whole school about us stealing something and we were in major trouble.

But you believed her over me. You believed she could never do something like that, she was too innocent. Oh, but I had all the reason...apparently.

I didn't and I never will.

And you know what, I don't want you to ever remember me as your best friend that started to cower in front of your eyes, that flinched whenever you touched them, the one that you never seemed to trust after something they didn't do.

No.

I want you to remember me as the best friend that hugged and comforted you when you were upset, the one that cared for you when you were sick, the one that laughed and joked around and left when we both had cramps and stitches from laughing too hard.

I guess it was fun, those sixteen years, but I guess you don't trust me to keep a secret that I never spilled and that was never true in the first place.

You know, I don't think I can deal with the pain of seeing you anymore. I might just end it, maybe you'll find this letter, maybe not. I don't really care anymore.

You need to know how I feel.

Goodbye, I'm sorry I wasn't the best.

~ Newt.

A/N: Ummmmm, so this was terrible, I'm sorry (hehe). I've been on a school trip the past week and it was literally so much fun, but I haven't had any time or energy to write, which sucks, but I'm gonna be updating quite a bit as it's the holidays and I have no school or homework.

I think I'm gonna upload this every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I might skip a day by accident or publish a day late, but it's a rough schedule.

Btw, I edited that photo above, I know it's not very good.