The Preachas Son

Starting over

Lord ..guide my heart, and words ….I need you …”  Rev. Brown whispered as she struggled to complete this week’s sermon … The door slammed and she stood up expecting Dea. Brown …. “Hey honey ..I …” … Dea. Brown put his hand up ….. “Let me talk Mildred …” he stated as he continued to walk toward her …… “Okay …”  Rev Brown sat down slowly …not knowing what to expect ……
“I’ve done a lot of thinking over the last two weeks since we had this  …. Hell . I don’t even know what this is anymore ….. I’m not going to lie and say I’m not upset that you’ve kept this from me .. from us for all this time …. But I can’t say that I made it easy to come to me before …… all I know … is that I can’t imagine my life without you …. And that’s what is really important to me …. But ….I’m serious when I say that we are one … no matter what decision we have to make … we will make it together ….. for the sake of our family ……”  
Rev. Brown had tears rolling down her face … she prayed that their love would survive this storm … “Oh Honey …..” she embraced and kissed him … “I love you …..” he whispered in her ear …… “So tell me about this Vernon guy …..” Rev. Brown sighed and told her story ….. 
*in Jamal’s room*
Jamal paced up and down the floor ….. he wondered would she let him do this one thing??? He was smart, but not that smart … and music was the only thing that made him happy ….. and he was good ….. he sat on his bed as his door flew open …. “Mal … I need your help with this ….” Marquice asked ….. He had some papers in his hand ….. “What u need?”  Jamal asked ….. he really couldn’t get pass the fact that they were acting like brothers ….. “I’m ready to do this drivin thing and I gotta fill out this app ….” He handed the paper over to Jamal ….
“Marq … u gonna have to learn how to do this for yourself …Imma be gone one day and what you gon do then??” Jamal asked as he filled out the paper ….. “whatever … thanks …”  he stopped at the door …. “So u uh ..talked to …” Jamal looked up …. And that look meant don’t say that next word ….. “Sorry bro ….” Marquice said and left the room ……
It sent Jamal back to another place he was avoiding ….. He hadn’t talked to Deuce ….at all …. The phone never stopped ringing …just like now … Jamal looked at the phone ….. he sighed ….. “Hey …” he spoke into the phone …… “Watup mayne??? We getting up still??” Stephen asked ….. One thing that changed since Miami was that Stephen really was putting an effort forward to make things work ….. Jamal just wasn’t sure what this thing was ……
“Yea .. I just got some family things to do ….. meet me in like an hour ….” “oh iight …. Well ill hit ya then shawdi ….” *click* 
Jamal lay back on his bed … why did his life have to always be difficult??? He never addressed the “I love you” comment Stephen said on a regular ….. he couldn’t deny that he still loved Deuce …..but after everything …. He just couldn’t trust him ….. His thoughts were interrupted by his mother calling his name …. “JAMAL!!!” she continued to scream ….
“Yea ma!!” Jamal said as he ran down the stairs … “I need you to tell me more about this ….” Rev. Brown held an article that showed Jamal wining the talent show …. “And when was you going to tell your parents about this???” They both stared at him … Jamal had wanted to tell them …but he didn’t want to hear no …… “I …I uh …..” Jamal stammered when he was nervous …..
“Well out with it boy!...How come you can’t tell us that you plan on singing and not going to college ???” Rev. Brown asked … “I haven’t said anything yet ma …” he answered … “I know you haven’t …and you not going to …You are going to school and that’s final ….” Dea Brown stopped her … “Jamal … what your mother and I are trying to get you to see is that …these decisions are things you should discuss with us and not alone … these are life long changes ….and while we have disagreed on some of your previous decisions … we’ve always stood behind you …. We are a family … and We love you …… So give us time to talk about this ….” 
Rev. Brown always loved how Dea. Brown could say the same thing she was trying to say, but only in a different way ….. “Yes sir …”  Jamal answered ….. it was times like this he forgot that he was still a child ….. but he appreciated his parents for their ways ….. “So you ready for graduation??”  Dea. Brown asked trying to change the subject ….. “Yes Jamal … have u prepared your speech??” Rev. Brown asked ….reminding Jamal of the task he was selected to do at the graduation ceremony ….. “uh … well …I haven’t really given it much thought ……” Jamal looked away …. It should’ve been Kevin giving this speech …. The Prom King gives an address to the senior class and well …. Since Jamal was the Prince … it fell on him …… 
His parents noticed his somber mood …. “Your friend … Kevin … he would want you to do good honey …” Rev. Brown said as she put her arm around him … in a rare moment of affection …. “I … I kno ma …. I just have to think about what he would say ….”  Jamal replied ….. “Well … we are here for you …. And just give us time to talk about this music thing ….” She kissed him and joined Dea. Brown on the couch ….. Jamal turned to walk out the room …. “And one last thing … what is SIZZLE??” Dea. Brown asked …. “uh ….” Jamal stammered ….. “nevermind son …..”
Jamal laughed and went on his way to get ready for tonight … He had to admit … being with Stephen wasn’t like anyone he had been with … tonight they had went to eat and then to a movie …. “Dude u jumped ….” Jamal said as they walked out of the theater … “No I didn’t .. I just moved real fast …. “  Stephen replied …. He was glad that things were going well …. He finally made it right with Jamal and it felt good …. He just wondered sometimes how Jamal felt about him …. They really hadn’t done anything pass that first time …..
“I asked you what were your plans after school Stephen …” Jamal repeated …. He hated when he zoned out …. “I think I’m going to take time to work and then college …. Just not sure where … I’m just ready to get it all over with …. And we can have the whole summer ….” Jamal paused .. he did just say we …..  there was a long pause …. “I just fucked it up huh?” Stephen asked as they continued walking …. “Um .. I gotta be honest …. I’m not sure where we are going with this … I mean at first it was about me getting back at Deuce … but im starting to feel you … but I don’t wanna label it right now ….” Jamal tried to explain ……
“I understand that …but all I’m sayin is give me a chance ..All this new to me as well …so I aint stressing … besides .. U got me hooked on that” he said as he smacked Jamal’s ass …. Jamal couldn’t help but smile … Stephen had a way of making him smile with his corny lines …. “Whatever ….” Jamal rolled his eyes …. His smile soon left his face as he spotted Deuce and Barry walking up the block …. “What’s wrong??” Stephen asked noticing Jamal’s change of mood and he realized who was walking toward them …..
“Da Fuck u can’t answer my calls Jamal??” Deuce asked ….. Deuce saw him walking and wanted to make it right ….. Jamal didn’t answer so Stephen did ….. “Uh dude … I think Jamal is through with u ….” Deuce paused …. “Listen lil dude …this aint got shyt to do with chu so stay out of it ….” And directed his attention back to Jamal who had yet to say a word ….. He hadn’t counted on seeing Deuce … and well he didn’t know what to say ….. “Jamal ….answer me ….”
“Listen … Jamal don’t have to answer u dude … so just bounce …” Stephen spoke up ….. Jamal looked at him …. Deuce looked at Stephen and then at Jamal again ….. “Oh shyt … So he da reason why u aint answering my calls?”  Jamal sighed … “Stephen .. give me a minute …” he had to stop this before the two of them started Hood Fights 5 out here …. “I’ll be in the car” Stephen said as he walked off … visibly upset …..
“So it’s like that huh?? I mess up and u bounce to the next dick??? I can’t believe u Jamal ….” Deuce exclaimed ….. “Huh???”  Jamal asked ….. “So let me get this straight … you cheat on me ….and you still think you have a right to tell me who I can chill with .. and the hell you come off assuming he more than a friend??  Maybe he is sumone that I can talk to about what you did to me … but either way …. As of now …it aint your problem …..” Jamal yelled back at him …. Not caring who heard ….. How dare Deuce try and act as if he was Mr. Perfect ……
“Look Jamal .. this aint the way its supposed to be … just let me explain what happened … I …Love you …. Please ….” Deuce pleaded … he hadn’t meant to talk to him like that, but seeing Jamal with another dude who was clearly feeling him on that level sent him over the edge … He could lose Jamal … like for good ….. “I …I can’t do this Deuce … just leave me alone …..” Jamal turned and walked away …… He felt that if he hadn’t ended it …he would have ended up going home with Deuce …. 
Jamal walked  back to the car ….. “So that’s Deuce ….” Stephen asked after a while of silence .. “Yea … I’m sorry bout all of that … its just …” Stephen stopped him …. “Look ..like I said … you don’t have to explain anything to me .. just promise me you won’t make any decision right now …..”  Stephen pulled Jamal into a kiss …. Leaving Jamal more confused than ever ….. they spent a few more minutes just sitting listening to the radio before Stephen dropped him off at his car …….
On the ride home … the events from the last few weeks weighed on his mind … He wished he could go back to when he wasn’t involved in so much drama …..  but he was sure that he would have to make a decision between the two soon ….. just …. He didn’t know what was the right decision ….. and then it came to him …. His speech …. He ran up to his room … Decisions … he started writing …..