Insane

cxxviii;

while laying down on the sand, staring up into the stars, donghyuck starts signing up in the air, and mark can't help but think his language looks stunning against the shining sky.

the words donghyuck is signing however, aren't as gorgeous.

"donghyuck you don't have to tell me if you don't want to," mark immediately says, voice serious.

it feels like the right time. i want to tell you.

"okay," mark says softly, eyes fixed on donghyuck's hands.

i've always wanted to become a singer.

mark feels his breath hitch at that.

i used to sing a lot in my spare time. just around the house, in the shower, lullabies to my stuffed toys when i was little. i didn't have many friends back then, but the ones i had told me i sounded great.

one day my parents were arguing. they used to do that a lot, they'd argue for hours and i'd never interfere, afraid of what they'd say if i did. i was ten when this particular argument took place, and i remember singing to myself in my room to drown out the sounds of my parents yelling and throwing things.

it worked for a while, until things quieted down for a bit. i was young, and stupid, so i thought to head out of my room once the yelling died down. i regret it so much. i left my room only to find my parents glaring at each other, a vase in my mom's hand and a different showpiece in my dad's hand. they threw them at the same time, and obviously both objects broke, the glass cutting my dad, my mom and myself. they finally noticed me then, and the only thing they agreed on that night was telling me to shut up. they said not to utter a word about what happened, what's happening, about what's been happening. and i was always too scared of my parents, because i knew what kind of people they are. i was too scared to say anything, so i agreed and kept shut. that's where things ended that night...

but it wasn't the last night.