Weekly Randoms Vol.2

ZOMBIES! A Scientifical Discussion

"Why would zombies need to eat brains?"

My mother said one afternoon after viewing the trailer for the new Resident Evil movie, I thought the last one was the last one, but whatever.

I replied in a quick like fashion, "They wouldn't be scary if they didn't."

The discussion died off there. Feel free to add on the why they would have this sudden need for brains.

If a ZOMBIE ATTACK was to break out, I don't think I would live too long. A zombie attack is nothing more than an Epic never ending game of Hide and Seek with ridiculously harsh penalty punishments. I was always a better seeker.

In the even of a ZOMBIE ATTACK my family would break up into teams of 2 for scouting missions. The twins teamed up, Amber and my dad and my mother and I.

Awesome A isn't much of a runner and I wouldn't put myself above leaving her behind in a chase situation. I'm not much of a runner either, but I can run faster than her.

Both my brothers are idiots. They would most likely die at their own hand by falling or something, never getting the chance to even see a ZOMBIE. If not that me killing them to lower the risk of getting caught.

I wouldn't team up with my dad because he doesn't really bring anything new to the table that I don't already have. Sure he was in the military for 20 years, but he never went to war. Knowing how to shot and reload a gun isn't anything speacial because everyone in the house has had target practice. Because the last gun he brought my mom said was a waste of money (he claimed he was going to go hunting. It's been over a year, he hasn't gone.) Plus my dad is old.

I chose my mom not so much because I think she will be helpful in dealing with ZOMBIE, but helpful with dealing with other humans. Plus she has this crazy power of smell. I think a ZOMBIE would have a very strong smell of death. I don't see how a ZOMBIE could sneak up on anyone, you would smell it coming.

What do I bring to the table, you might ask.

I'm a decent shot, but that was just paper and cans. Never shot anything moving (living or dead or UNDEAD!). I have many logged hours of video game killing. (I have never completed a mission on any of the Grand Theft Auto games. I just kill hookers and pretend to drive like I'm on a real street. DON'T JUDGE ME!) A few years of boy scouts, I got a few badges. Two, count 'em, one, two days of Karate class. (We weren't doing ninja moves so I wanted to quit. I was like 5 or 6 and was really into Dragon Ball Z.) I know how to cook ramen noodles a billion different ways. I think I could be pretty good at getting people to join the home base or just trading. And that's just about all I'm good for.

Oh wait, I'm hilariously awesome! We would never be bored.

[(People are fucked up. Youtube. Now that's a ZOMBIE!)]