Heart-strings

Chapter 13

I felt so worn out of living in a new city all alone, far away from my loved ones and the most disgusting thing the 'CHANGE' which took place in my life. Although I never shared it with anyone, I could not hide it from my own self. Things I hated before were the things I was living with now.

I was literally exhausted so I decided to go to a nearby beach as it was Sunday. In the evening, I went there, found a vacant concrete bench and sat there to relax. I looked at the children playing with their families and it just hit my mind of the happy family I always wished to have. It would have been so good if Dad would have valued us more than his money, business and reputation. We would have also lived a peaceful life. No matter how much you try to keep yourself positive, somewhere at some point of time, you will feel disheartened, broken and upset. I was not alone at the beach but was surely feeling lonely. Suddenly I felt a gentle touch on my shoulder which dragged me out of my thoughts and I turned back to see. It was Darshan who wore a blue-check full sleeved shirt with a light-peach shaded t-shirt inside. "May I?", he asked if he could sit there or not. "Yes, please", I replied shifting to one side. I still looked at the sea-waves and the setting sun. "Where are you lost?", he asked me. I turned to his side and said, "Umm, nowhere". "What are you doing here?", I asked him because he met me unexpectedly. "I was shooting a song's video with my team. It left but I decided to enjoy the beauty of nature so I stayed", he answered. I simply nodded because my mind was as disturbed as the crowd at the beach.

"Now tell me, what's with you? You look upset", he asked again. After months, someone asked me why I was upset. Of course, I wanted to tell him that I was missing my people but still I chose to remain quiet. Why? Because I found it quite impossible to open up in front of people, I did not like sharing my feelings with anyone and if I did, later I would feel very odd. I don't know why but I was like that.

"Listen, I understand that you don't like to share your feelings with anyone but believe me, if there's something hurting you, you can share it with me. Come on, as a friend, tell me", he tried comforting me. I don't know if he had sixth sense or something because he really understood me and I was surprised. I looked at him and said, "I am missing my family". "You know what Nandini, this is your test", he said and I looked at him. "Yes, God is taking your test. He's testing whether you can survive the toughest battles or not. He wants to teach you patience. It's obvious to miss your beloved ones when they are not around but you know that they love you and that must keep you going. They believe in you, they know that you can chase your dreams. Don't let them down. Don't let them become your weakness, it will be the worst you could do to them", he explained. I liked his optimism towards life. I smiled at him. Even he lived away from his family but still he was so positive. His outlook towards his life and dreams was clear. He knew what he wanted from his life and what he wanted to give it.

"Loving someone is such a beautiful thing, isn't it", he asked me. I shrugged my shoulders because I never thought about that before. I questioned him, "How can you say it with such confidence?". "Because I love someone", he said smiling broadly. I felt my stomach twisting in knots. I was not supposed to feel that because it was his life and he had the right to love anyone. Why did I feel distressing, I don't know. "It must have been that Divya", I spoke to myself. "Did you say something?", he asked. "No", I said furrowing my eyebrows. "I'll leave, bye", I said and stood up from the bench. "I'll drop you", he suggested. I left saying, "No, thanks".

I went back home. I was still thinking about him. "It's alright if he loves someone, why am I feeling so strange?", I asked myself. Suddenly I remembered that at the beach, Darshan told me that he was shooting for his song and I did not even congratulate him because I was so busy in my own self. "He would have felt so selfish of me. I should talk to him", I said to myself. I picked up my phone and dialed his number. "Hello", his voice came from the other side of phone. "Hey, you were telling about your video shooting, right? I did not even congratulate you. Sorry and yes, I believe you will nail it", I said in hurry. He replied "Thank you" and I cut him off in between saying, "I'll catch up with you later". I abruptly cut the phone call because I literally did not want to speak to him.

I felt too disturbed to sleep. The web of confusion was already woven in my mind and I kept on thinking or more rightly over thinking about him. The fact that he loved someone else was eating me. Although I knew that it was not my right, still I was bothered about him. "Jeez! I can't take it anymore. I want to sleep", I said to myself, covered my face with a pillow and fell in sleep to give my mind rest.