𝐒𝐎𝐋𝐄𝐋𝐘. |𝐗𝐗𝐗𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐂𝐈𝐎𝐍

𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘 𝐒𝐀𝐘 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐃𝐑𝐔𝐍𝐊 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐒 𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐊 𝐒𝐎𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒

—𝐄𝐋𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐀
"Remorse, as this time becomes a factor, minds full of greed, exposing your benefactors
Backwards, pace backwards, everyone is superficial Only breaching the surface, surface upon the Earth And flames engulf the Earth, and prized possessions, they incinerate
This is far beyond any director tried to demonstrate See the record, here's the record, take the record, set it straight Perplexed, only receive slumber when at Heaven's gates"

clocking out of my family's corner store i had my head phones blasting vice city by xxxtentacion. this kid was good at music not only is he flowing within the beat you can tell the kid is putting his whole heart to this song. this was the only song he had on soundcloud and it has lots of views.

walking up the stairs in the back of the store it lead you to my apartment. opening the door you hear the tv, seeing my mother cooking and step father sitting down looking at his hands. seeing genevieve ready for her shift, told my step father it was too late for her to work but he didn't agree on her staying with us.

he said "she stays here for free with home cooked meals. she could work a late shift." now i love my step father don't get me wrong but he does get on my nerves. my mother lets him rule us around like her name isn't on the store nor apartment building.

i'm 16 years old turning 17 in 5 more months. genevieve's birthday passed even though she didn't want to celebrate zarhira and i couldnt just let her sit at my home doing nothing.

us being good friends we took our time to safe up money. we were going to be eating out and having fun, genevieve wasn't one to have fun she was always alone when a kid. she stuck to the lonely lifestyle.

↳"guys i don't know how i feel about this!" leading genevieve into the nice dark restaurant, we found our table sitting her down we finally took off the blind fold.

"woah! you guys, this look like it cost a lot you sure we have enough?"

"girl why you think we took all those shifts?"

"i'll help you guys pay. it's my treat!"

"no, it's your birthday."

we've never seen genevieve smile and now that i see that big smile of hers i knew we had to keep her happy. we didn't go to juvenile detention for nothing.

every kid there has something going on in their life. mostly the trauma comes from home then it grows into something more than before.

growing up i was a child that wasn't planned. my parents were going to abort me until my mother cried to my father saying she couldn't. but i wish she could've done it, if anything she'll be doing the whole world a favor. she brought me into this world into a home that wasn't loving.

she was selfish and she still is, having men in and out the house never knowing my real father. than she met my step father he was fun until he cheated on my mother. after my mother cheated back that's when hell broke loose. Constant beatings and days where i couldn't walk or comprehend.

why did he only hurt me, why didn't he hurt her? she was the one who cheated she was the one who made him grow gray hairs. she was the one that made my life hell.

knowing you have to take the pain for something you never caused, it not only hurts but also makes a child angry. angry because since birth they've been tortured, i'm angry because i never asked for this life, angry because i can never leave even when i try i get sent back home.

cps knows what's going on at home but they still send me back. their only excuse is them not wanting me to go to the orphanage. i feel as if they just want these kids to be angry and upset at life.

wondering why this generation has lots of suicide cases. they do this to us, but i didn't make the system. all we know is the system brung fucked and no one doing anything about it.

↳"alright i have to go!" seeing genevieve take her bag going to open the door as she takes a step i go up to her trying to make her stop.

"you want me to come with you?"

"no i'll be alright elvina. call you if anything. okay?"

"okay."

the only reason i try my best to stay up during genevieve's shift is only because it's eight o'clock at night. this is the time where it gets chaotic, gangs or any dangerous people come out and start problems.

we don't live in a good area, if you would like to say we live in the hood. now we know everyone here but you still can't trust no one knowing they really don't care for you.

letting genevieve leave i look at my parents making my way to my small room cluttered with boxes. when i was taken to juvenile detention my parents thought they could make my room into their storage closet.

having a little twin sized bed with one little drawer, not much to really tell you about my room. taking off my sweaty clothes and getting into the shower i clean my body.

thinking about life and how it has come to. having no where to go even if i want to leave this place. letting my head fall back as i feel the water hit my head dragging the soap off my hair.

↳"isn't that a little too much food?" moving my eyes on my mother who had a look of horror. she's should be the last one to talk, growing up i've always been a skinny girl.

i can eat a lot and i wouldn't gain a thing. i'm insecure but i get over it once i look in the mirror and repeat words that make me feel good about myself.

not talking i just eat my food. once i was done i clean my bowl waiting in my room for genevieve. turning my little lamp light off i pull the light covers over my body, hearing my door open i see genevieve she takes off her clothes changing getting into the bed with me. hugging each other we don't talk.

the only thing heard in the room was our breathing and white noise. closing my eyes i let the quietness take over my body, this is all i wanted a friend who cared.

the world gets too loud everyone on the planet needs time to stay to themself. i just pray we can at least be happy in this big sad world.