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—𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐕𝐈𝐄𝐕𝐄 it's almost been a year here. i hate it everyday there's a new problem. my date was pushed back i've gotten into three fights during breakfast the last two was during free time.
the girls were triplets whenever another one went down they came back to fight. all three of them went to the hospital. i'm hoping next month i'll be able to leave. i'll be turning 16 in 4 more days still dont know where i'll crash at.
knowing my parents messed with my things. I've called home and they never answered the calls. the letters we had to make for our parents yeah they were all sent back to me. When I get out of here I'll be at a shelter. Elvina and Zarhira left 3 months ago.
when they left it hurt but ive always told myself not to get attached knowing theyll leave. I call and check up on them elvina told me i could stay with her when i get out. i was really moving towards the option but then again i hate others taking care of me.
my last birthday party i had was a disaster. not only was the attention on my other cousin who didn't share the same birthday as me there was a drive by killing my aunt.
my aunt was a mother figure to me not only did she love me she spoiled me with new clothes and toys. when my parents were too intoxicated she took me in made me feel like i was meant to stay alive.
i was only 10 when i seen my first death, live. remembering i had to wash all her blood off of me in the shower while crying. she was the only reason why i stood strong because, without her i was a total different person.
the tears hit my orange jumpsuit that's about smaller now. you only get one size getting forced to eat the food here made me not so much thin. i've been more insecure about my appearance than ever.
my long curly brownish hair fell onto my back when it was wet it hit my upper butt area. i've looked the same since i was born i've always wanted a change. a change not only to better myself but to feel good about myself.
i wanted to mask off the child trauma. i wanted to escape reality maybe live on mars. i didn't want to be the same person anymore i want to be a new person. if you looked into my eyes you wouldn't see much but just my hazel orbs. if you were even lucky enough to read me you'll know my deepest secrets.
if i change my look i wouldn't do anything but just look different. but if i fight these demons that come into my head and master to push them away i'll know i've accomplish something in my life.
