Dead by Tomorrow

Chapter 32 | Break My Heart Again

The midnight air was strumming against the strings of my hair with its invisible fingers, creating a perfect melody that I was hearing for the first time, yet it seemed like I knew it since forever.

 It sounded a lot like heartbreak.

 I was sitting in front of my house, grandma and Brie sound asleep, and me wishing I could be as relaxed as them. I couldn't though. Ace didn't' want to see me, and he wasn't home, so I waited outside, looking at his house, waiting for him to get back. I've been outside for so long, thinking of a perfect sentence that would make him stop and listen to the rest I had to say, going over and over it in my head, and hoping it works the way I imagined it. I cared about him so much, and I wasn't ready to lose him, I really hoped he knew that too.

 I messed up, yes, but I did it because I cared about him. I knew Ace, and everybody in the pits knew his rage, Caleb wouldn't have survived his wrath. Ace would have gone to jail, losing his freedom over a rat. I also didn't want Caleb to die. I always cared about him, and even though we were apart, we knew each other for so long— it was impossible for me not to care about him in some way. It was impossible until Damien told me what had Caleb done.

Deep inside my thoughts, rummaging through tunnels of endless words, I didn't even hear footsteps approaching me until they stopped right in front of me. 

"What are you doing here?" I stood up, pushing him away from me, pushing him away from my life.

"Mia, please. Let me explain," he dared coming here after everything. 

"I know everything Caleb, you should be happy you're alive. I should have let him kill you!"

"You don't mean that." The expectant stare was burning my eyes.

Gritting my teeth and moving towards him I spat out, "I do Caleb. I really fucking do."

He broke down. Shattering in front of me like he was made out of thin glass, and it just happened that a strong gust of wind flew his way. My heart broke, not because I felt sorry for him, but because I pitied him. He once was a true love of mine, and he changed so much that I felt ashamed of loving him in the first place.

"I did it for you." Bloodshed eyes were begging me to say something, but I was mute. 

"Mia, please. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything, I can't lose you."

"You lost me, Caleb, a long time ago."  He did. He lost me the moment he told me that he was going away, that we wouldn't work out like that. I just wasn't fully aware of that so I tried mending the broken pieces, but they were ripping apart so fast that I had to stop trying, there was no use.

I went inside the house, no turning back, not looking at him. Because of Caleb I was losing somebody I actually cared about, somebody who didn't realize how much I cared about him. And as if things couldn't get worse, once I looked outside my window, I saw Ace arriving home.

Caleb was leaving mine.

They both saw each other and stopped. Then, Caleb walked towards Ace and stopped right in front of him. He was suicidal, that was for sure.

I didn't think about anything when I ran outside and crossed the street.

"It really isn't what you think it is." They both looked at me and as Ace glared in my direction, Caleb disappeared right away.

"I think I know exactly what it is, or are my eyes deceiving me?" His eyes looked different, they were blurred and red, and it seemed like he was drinking.

"He came to apologize," I said, trying not to cry, but the tears were threatening to come out.

"Come on Mia, you expect me to believe that after this night?" He spat out. The way he swayed around proved just how much he was drinking.

I took a deep breath, "Ace, just a few days ago I told you how much I cared for you. I would never cheat on you, never. This all has been a series of misfortunate events, for all of us—"

"Shut up, Mia! Stop treating me like a fool!" He was so loud that he could have woken up my grandma, but I wasn't capable of thinking about that.

"Ace, calm down. I'm speaking the truth. I see you've been drinking, let's talk tomorrow, okay?" He really was drunk, his face red and his eyes different, his body swaying around like it didn't even belong to him. I tried to calm him down, I tried to take his hand and take him home, but he fought me, he fought out of my embrace, he fought against me. 

In the hurt and drunken rage, as he was slipping from me, my face started burning. It felt like an explosion, and it kind of was one, because my heart exploded and lava started dripping from my eyes. Tears stung, the air got heavy, and Ace seemed to have sobered up in an instant. 

"Mia—" he took my hand and I flinched, making him drop it rapidly.

"Don't ever touch me again."

I stormed inside the house for the second time on the same night, but I didn't get out again. I was shutting the door of my house, and sealing the door of my heart.

Ace hit me. 

Tears kept rolling down my face and no matter how many times I tried to brush them away, my face kept getting wet. I feared that he was going to knock on my door and make a scene, but everything was silent. Just quiet sobs coming from the depth of my soul could have been heard in the pitch dark room, and everything else seemed dead, breathless, numb— my heart crumbled, and my soul shrieked the unheard voice of pain. 

Ace hit me.