Deidara's Diary

Entry 67

Dear Diary,

Today is the third day of the mission and I just woke up. I was apparently fitting

the wedding dress Sasori made for me. Oh, no don't get me wrong. It wasn't voluntarily.

He poisoned my food last night and put in on me. Yeah, I'm not really sure how to respond to that...

Fortunately some sort of black pigeon cam flying by and pooped on the dress.

Sasori got all mad and ripped it off me. I was naked after that,

but he was so busy with the dress that he didn't notice. The black pigeon however did...

What do you mean black pigeons don't exist? I mean they are annoying and crap on everything.

I think this bird makes the cut. Well, what bird is black then? Could be a crow,

yeah it's a crow and it's carrying a note. No, see it's definitely a pigeon.

They carry notes, like a carrier pigeon.

I should grab the note? Alright, I'll read it.

So that was very disturbing. It was a note from Itachi. First I asked Sasori how he would even know

where we are right now and he responded again with that we are cool like that.

Is that his new catchphrase or something? Well, anyway it was for me and

it was somehow worse than the wedding dress. On the other hand the wedding dress has lace and is all poofy.

So a few quotes from the love letter, yes love letter... I'm sorry to put you through this.

My love burns brighter for you than when my fireball jutsu hit one of Zetsu's children.

I want to pet you like Kisame does to Gayfish.

Your kisses are as sweet as the grape-juice you drank in front of Sasori.

I want to make love to you like Kakuzu does to Hidan on the tapes.

I can only hope your heart will explode for me like you made Kakuzu explode.

You fit me like Konan's leather skirt fits you.

Whenever you are not around me I feel like going crazy like Tobi does.

And my brain will always belong to you, not to Pein.

Love, Itachi

Yeah, the weirdest love letter I've ever seen. I'm not sure if I should feel flattered or disgusted,

maybe both. Should I send him a note back? The black pigeon is still here.

What do you mean he has enough information already? The sharingan?

The pigeon has a sharingan! The bastard has been spying on me this entire time!

OMG, he's seen me naked. The pervert! I need to talk to Sasori about this.

So Sasori started writing a note back to Itachi with a murderous look on his face.

Should I stop him? I'm actually to afraid to talk to him at the moment.

He just ripped a piece of the wedding dress and bound it to the pigeons leg.

What kind of competition is this? Diary, I really need some help.

Do you think we will be safe when we hit land? This should be the last day.

Maybe I'm safer with the eight-tales than with Sasori. What are you laughing at?

Love, Deidara