The Lost Story

Chapter 15

Today was Monday, the first day of school. I got out of bed and looked in the mirror. I had bruise on my cheek; I knew it was from Ross. My mom didn't hit me hard enough to give me a bruise, but Ross did. My knuckles still had cuts on them, but those would be easier to make up a lie for. Ross' hand was on my face, and there was only one explanation for that. He hit me. I can still feel his hand collide with my cheek. The stinging I felt when his hand made contact with my cheek. The anger and regret in his eyes. I remember it all.

I don't know if I could forgive Ross. I've never been hit by a guy, but not just any guy. The guy I was in love with. I showered and put my hair into a side fishtail braid. I did my makeup and covered up the bruise. I put on denim shorts, a black football t-shirt, and my black Converse. I grabbed a Luna protein bar and my backpack then walked out the door.

I looked in my review mirror as I was going to start my car but stopped when I saw someone in black skinny jeans and a black hoodie walking down the sidewalk. I got a better look and realized it was Ross. I wanted to say something but decided to just stay in my car. It was the safest place to be. I started my car and backed out of my driveway ignoring his presence. I glanced in my side mirror and saw his face. It looked sore and red. His eyes were blood shot. I think he was wearing the same clothes from last night. Maybe I wasn't the only one that was hurting.

I still continued to drive away to school. Once I parked in the parking lot I got a text message from Ross. I decided not to look at it yet. I'll wait until after school. I'm afraid of what he said. I got another one from him a minute later. I was still in my car, so if no one would see me if I cried.

<3Ross<3: Have a good first day at school

<3Ross<3: I Love You

His message did make me want to cry, but I didn't. If I did my make up would swear and make my bruise visible. I didn't know what to say back, or if I should say anything back. I just decided not to reply. I got out of my car and began my long first day of school.

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School was surprisingly fast. I don't know if I was ready to go home. I'm so used to staying after school because of volleyball. I found myself walking into the choir room. I sat down at the piano and started playing. I haven't played in long time. I started playing and singing along to One Last Dance. I was finished and saw my choir teacher standing there.

"Carly that was excellent. You should join choir", she suggested. It didn't sound like a terrible idea. i wanted to focus more on music and with volleyball in the picture I knew that would be impossible. Joining choir would give me something to do. "Sure why not", I said. She handed me a drop and add sheet so I could drop Art 1 and take choir instead. I don't even like art, so it didn't bother me when I had to drop that class.

I still didn't feel like going home, so went on a little drive. Having my music play on shuffle, I drove all around the neighborhood. after about 2 hours of driving around and singing along to random songs that came on, I went back home. It was 7:00, and I didn't feel like eating anything, so I just went up to my room. After a while of just laying on my bed watching Youtube, I got a text.

We need to talk...

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I didn't know what to say or what to do. What do I say? Do I even reply? What if he's already on his way over here. I don't think I'm ready to talk to Ross. He kind of scares me now. He was the only person that I thought would never hurt. What if he gets angry again and smacks me, again. I grabbed my shoes and ran out the door. I don't care if it was almost 10 at night; I was NOT going to risk being here when Ross says he wants to talk.

I was putting on my shoe while running down the street. I was trying to put on my other shoe, but I tripped and fell. "Owww!!", I hissed holding my knee.

"Carly?!?! Is that you??", I heard someone shout. I froze at the voice. My heart started pounding out of my chest. Why did this have to happen? Why did I have to fall? "Oh my gosh are you okay?", Ross said getting down on the ground next to me. I looked at him terrified. Who knows what he could do to me.

I think Ross saw the terrified expression on my face, because his heart looked like it just broke into a thousand pieces. He looked down blinking away a few tears. He looked back up at me. His blood shot eyes looking into my scared ones. "Are you really scared of me?", Ross asked with his voice cracking. I didn't know what to say. Maybe I should just stay silent and maybe he'll go away.

"I'm so sorry Carly. I never thought I would do anything like that to a girl, especially not you", he cried, "I did something so awful to you, and you never told anyone. I don't understand why. Why haven't you told anyone?".

"Why would I?", I asked. Some how I feel guilty. I know Ross smacked me across the face, but he's hurting so bad.

"Because I smacked you across the face. I hate myself so much. I can't believe I let myself get angry enough to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you, ever. I hate myself so much", he cried. Ross sat there crying in front of me. I've never seen him so hurt or so broken before. I've never seen him cry or feel sad. I hate myself for having him feel this way.

"Please don't say that", I softly said rubbing his back.

"Why shouldn't I?!?! I don't deserve to be happy after what I did. I don't deserve you. I don't deserve anyone as good as you. I'll just end up hurting them like I hurt you", he cried harder. I had no words. I decided to give him silent therapy and let him cry while I sit and comfort. I pulled Ross closer to me. I set his head on my lap.

He wrapped his arms around my hips and buried his face into my shirt. He laid there and just cried. Cried his feelings. Cried everything away. It really hurt me to see him. Some tears made their way down my cheeks and hit the back of Ross' neck, but I think he was crying too hard to notice anything that was going on around him.

"Why are you being so nice to me? I hurt you", he cried letting go of my t-shirt that he was crying into and looked up at me with his still blood shot eyes. I was running my fingers lightly through his shiny blond hair.

"That doesn't matter right now", I whispered lightly running my hand across his forehead down to his cheek. I wiped the tears off his cheeks and lightly kissed his forehead. He sniffled resting his head back on my lap. I continued to comb my fingers through his long blond hair. The streets were very quiet for 10:00. The only thing you could hear were Ross' occasional sobs.

"Come on let's go", I whispered to him. "I don't want to be alone", he whispered.

"Who said you were going to be alone", I said helping Ross stand up, and we walked to my house. We walked up to my bedroom. I didn't care if I was in my jeans. I just wanted to sleep. Ross and I got underneath the covers. I laid my head on his chest, and his arm rested on his stomach next to my face. Ross was still in his jeans and sweat pants. After a few minutes of laying there, I heard Ross' silent snores. I lightly kissed his cheek and laid my head back on his chest. I looked at Ross' arm laying next to me and saw some small red scars poking out from underneath his sleeve.

Did he???...