my endless love

bruises and prayers

a little recap
pouring some water  in the glass he sat beside me on the sofa and i tried to scoot far away from him but there was no space he offered me the glass i shook my head in a no when he brought the glass near my lips i snatched it from his hands and drank all of it in one gulp some of it falling on my dress he took a tissue and was about to clean the droplets on my chin i snatched that too from him and did it myself
he sighed audibly and moved a little away from me but not much  resting his back on the sofa he kept his left ankle on his right knee and said "calm down amal...its not like i am going to kill you"
i looked at him with hope may be he will not do anything to me forcefully may be since he completed his goal.
he married me
may be he will behave nicely now
may be he will build this relationship normally.... may be?

Amal's pov

i sat there with a little hope that he will not force himself on me today... he stood up and i flinched
i was scared i thought he was coming near me but instead he went and took out a little square box from his sherwani's pocket he sat beside me, took my hand is his and slid a beautifull emerald ring on my finger.

he put a finger under my chin and said

"you know you always look pretty but today you look mind blowingly gorgeous when i saw you walking towards me in the hall i felt like i should just grab you and kiss you hard" as soon as he said that i slowly freed my hand.

i laughed at myself mentally he almost made me believe that he had humanity left in him

coming near me he started kissing me
i instantly started struggling against him,
he pulled back and said
"theres no use of struggling my love you will have to surrender at the end its your choice now or later if you surrender now it will hurt less"

i stood up from the sofa and walked back as far as I could,

"pl...ease give me some time...y..you cant do it like this, we are married now you should thi...think about me too"

he started walking towards me ...i started walking backwards he came towards me and in a swift movement held me by my neck
"you know i love you a lot but you look disusting when you talk back to me"

he threw me at the bed,

"remove this jewelry or should i do the honors?" he said in a stern voice

"arham..lis...*slap*

"YOU ARE RUINING MY MOOD!!!.......
YOU. STUPID .WOMAN!!!!!!"

i sat there crying

"REMOVE THE DAMN JEWELRY" he yelled so loudly that i felt my ears ringing

i hurridly removed every thing, he came on the bed and started kissing me while i sobbed and kept repeating "please... stop... please... stop...please.."

"if you dont stop with this sobbing thing...you will regret it" he said with a glare

i closed my eyes and silently let my tears  fall, he pushed me and my head landed on the pillow, he started kissing my neck and i tried not to cry loudly or else he will get more angry.

suddenly he stopped biting my neck and sat up
"get up" he said

i looked at him confusingly and got up

"remove the dress" he said and i looked at him shocked.

is he really serious

he sighed, as if he is frustrated and came behind me and started sliding the zipper of the dress

i closed my eyes and sobbed silently ....

i dont remember  how many hours it kept going on,
i dont remember how much i yelled in pain,
i dont remember how many times he slapped me to make me keep quiet,

when he was done he fell on the bed beside me exhausted keeping his hand on my stomach and face in the crook of my neck he instantly fell asleep i just laid there crying staring at the ceiling
when i finally found the strenght to get up i walked to the washroom slowly,

it pained a lot,

i cried in the shower
when i got out it was fajar, i laid down the prayer mat and i offered my salah

i raised my hands in dua
ya allah please save me its just the first day and he made me go through hell
please give me peace
i am really hurt allah
my heart aches a lot
the way he humiliates me i cant tolerate it allah miya please help me

i folded the prayer mat, i felt little better after my salah

in the courtyard i sat on the couch near the fountain hugging my knees i sat there looking at the plants, the sky, the birds chirping i looked at everything so beautifull and pleasant but still a gut wrenching sadness engulfing me

when i looked at the pond of the fountain i saw my face,
a red mark where he slapped,
finger marks and bite marks on my neck,
finger marks at my wrists,
and again tears started slipping from my eyes as i was busy looking at my bruises arham suddenly hugged me from behind.

i always get scared when he is near me.

he kissed my neck and i hissed in pain

"i am sorry my love i was a little harsh yesterday but you know it was your fault...i dont like it when you dont listen to my orders"
"jab tum apni zubaan chalati ho na zeher lagti ho mujhe" kissing my cheek he went in the bedroom

few minutes later he yelled
"ammaalllll"
i ran to the room thinking what happened

i entered the room scared
"jee"

"come here" he ordered

i looked up..to see him standing in his towel i lowered my gaze again

"i asked you to come here amal"

i slowly walked near him
he started kissing me then he took my dupatta from my shoulders and threw it at the couch

i took two steps back scared if i walked back he will get angry

"arham i am sore down there its hurting too.... you cant do this now"

he held my hairs by my neck and pulled them back forcing me to look up
"what did i said about talking back?"

before he got more angry and turned into an animal like yesterday i said
"sorry ...wont happen again..." closing my eyes  and hissing in pain i said "please leave my hair...i told you i wont do it again"

"good" he said and continued his torture

this time i couldnt even move my body by the end of it... i ached so much that i laid there naked covered in the blanket unable to move while he just slept peacefully

i felt my tears wetting the pillow
when will all of this stop. do i have to spend all my life like this??

                            ............