To The Letter

Chapter 6

Chapter 6

My Dear Juice,

I thought about what you said and talked to my friend Lisa. Let's see how the phone call goes. Once I hear from you, if it all goes well, I will agree to one visit and then go from there. Sound fair? I really love hearing from you and you calling me baby makes me smile. It's been a long time since anyone's acted like I matter. I need these letters. I hate sounding needy but I'm being honest.

I had a dream last night. In the dream, you were here. You were out and showed up at my door and you kissed me. I know, stupid, right. I don't know why I'm telling you this. I'm actually looking forward to you calling. I keep wondering what your voice sounds like. If you'll like mine. So many things going through my head. I know. I am certifiably crazy.

So, tell me what you look for in a girl. What do I look for? I like a guy that's sweet, caring, affectionate, funny. He has to make me laugh. But most of all, he has to love me. All of me. God, I'm corny. But, Juicy Boy, I better go for now. Please be safe and be good. For me. Please. Until mail call.

Cass

I mail the letter out and am feeling really good about it. I can't let my insecurities get to me. Juice deserves better than that and damn it, so do I. It's been a couple of days since I mailed the letter and I am sitting at home when my phone rings. I don't recognize the number but answer anyway just incase. An inmate from Stockton Correctional Facility is on the line. Press 1 to accept. The recording says. I couldn't press 1 fast enough. "Hello." I say. "Hey baby." he says and I feel butterflies in my stomach. "How are you?" he asks. "Better now. How are you?" I asked. "Really good baby. Really good. I got your letter today." he tells me. "Really?" I asked. "Yeah. That dream you told me about, I had the same one." he tells me. I can't help but smile. "You know your friend that's talking to Tig? Guess what he told me today." he says. "Oh God. I'm afraid to ask." I say. "She told Tig that she has never seen you smile as much as you do since we've been writing." he tells me and I feel myself blush. "Did he also tell you I'm gonna disown her?" I ask laughing. He laughs too. "Don't feel bad. I've been smiling more too. You have no idea how much good you've done for me." he tells me. "I might have an idea. You've done good for me too." I say. We hear the one minute warning. "Well, baby. We gotta say goodbye. About that visit?" he asks. "One visit." I say. "Thank you baby." he says. "Be safe and be good." I say. "For you." he says before the call disconnects. I call Lisa and tell her about the call and that I agreed to a visit. A few days later, I get a letter in the mail.

Dear Cass Baby,

It was so good to finally hear your voice tonight. I felt butterflies. I know. I sound like such a little bitch but I'm okay with that. I have never felt that before. It just seemed so comfortable talking to you and now I can't wait to see you. But make me a promise, when we meet, when you finally see that I like you and I'm not going anywhere, you have to write me an even more special letter than you already do. Safeword worthy. What is your safeword?

After our call, I could not stop smiling. Tig gave me shit calling you my girl and you know what? You are my girl. My baby. Mine. I hope you're okay with that. If not then I'll just have to change your mind. I found out today that you were approved for visitation. You can come as soon as this Saturday. But it's up to you when you're comfortable with coming to see me. I have one shot to show you that I'm not going anywhere. I promise, I won't hurt you. Well, I better go for now. Lights out soon. I'll be good and be safe. For you, my girl. Until mail call.

Your Juicy Boy

A few minutes later, my phone rings and I hear the recording telling me that Juice is calling. "Hello" I say after pressing 1 as fast as I could. "Hey baby." he says. "I got your letter today." I say. "Good. What did you think?" he asks. "Me being your girl or coming to see you Saturday?" I ask. "Both." he says and I can tell he's nervous. "Saturday...yes. Being your girl? I love the sound of that...but...let's wait until Saturday and see if you feel the same way. If you do then I'll be your girl and write you a safeword letter." I tell him. "Fair enough but I'm still calling you baby and to me you're my girl." he says and I start laughing. "Fair enough." I tell him. "So, how was your day?" he asks. "It was good. Got a lot done and even found the top that I am going to wear so you'll know it's me." I say. "What will you be wearing?" he asks. "My Black Widow shirt. You'll definitely know it's me." I tell him. "Okay. I can't wait to see you." he tells me. "I can't wait either. But Juice..." I start but he cuts me off. "I promise, it will be fine. Trust me." he tells me. "Okay." I say. We hear the one minute warning. "Baby, we gotta say goodbye." he says. "I know. I hate it. How much longer?" I ask. "Eleven months." he tells me. "Be good and be safe." I say. "For you baby." he says before the call ends and I feel the tear start to fall.